Post-Ops - How Did You "Come Out Of Your Shell"?

  I originally asked this on TT, then got to thinking:   dang, good question for us members of Weiner World as well ..  !    :

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Attending the OH event in Houston last weekend, I got to speaking with some fellow post-ops and we discussed how pretty much socially boring we were ... inhibited, or whatever you want to call it ..     It's a carry-over from our biggie pre-op days, I guess, when we just weren't part of the social scene for the most part .. and tended to avoid such gatherings out of fear of rejection or not fitting in, apparently ..              

  Have you been successful at shaking that aspect of a poor self-image off since your surgery, and if so, how were you able to achieve it?       

  btw, I think this would be a great topic to address at an event w. one of our psychologist speakers, no?  .. 

Not really.  I still "see" myself as fat.  I will often even catch myself doing double takes in the mirror.  I was "sort of" outgoing before WLS so I guess I'm about the same.  But, I still have a negative self image.  I will make "fat jokes" with myself as the butt of the joke, usually resulting in confused looks from my audience.  I automatically pick out clothes that are too big for me at a store, and I am very uncomfortable talking to women that I don't know.  My wife tells me that I'm getting "hit on" here lately, but I just don't see it, I guess it will take a while. 

 I know what you mean about the loose clothes ..  I finally went down a few sizes in my pants by selection a few months ago, but they are still very roomy.   A gal (don't they always?) noticed and pointed that out to me at the OH event ..        I just like them that way and it helps cover up the loose skin ..  (at least that's how I justify my choice - lol) 

 As to the "hitting on", I was driving back from the event and stopped off at a very busy Cracker Barrel restaurant in a small town for a late lunch ..   The waitress (young, petite thing) seemed to have put her hand on the back of my shoulder 3 or 4 times while talking to me during my meal ..   Not sure if that means "interest" in me, or in a big tip .. (and yes, my wallet wasn't missing when I left!  ) ..   I just don't know how to interpret these kind of "signals" (if that is what they are), which were foreign to me mostly as a pre-op .  

I had a revelation at a OH conference. Just going to the social event that one evening after a day of workshops.  It was a 50s theme and prepping the look and especially the hair in the mirror,...apparently spending more time in front of the mirror than normal,.. it was like a light coming on or a veil being lifted.  I like the way I looked,...BAM,...thats me in the mirror.  For the first time I actually though,..hey,...I look pretty good.  And I stayed and stared a while. (at the risk of sounded weird).  But that is what happened for me.  A new found shot of slef confidence and self esteem I lacked before,...probably from avoiding mirrors most of my life.

Then at the evening event ,...I forced myself to talk to a few new people I risked being friendly too and Whoa!,...they were surprised to find I was as scared and insecure as they were.  So its really just about taking a chance and if it doesn't work,...no one usually dies and you move on. 

It also works for overcoming the need to drink to relax or loosen up.  Just loosen up and do what you were thinking about doing but didn't have the nerve without having a drink or two to blame it on. You don't need the drink,...just take a chance on being yourself and you'll be amazed at the results.  And if its doesn't fly too well,...maybe you need a new circle of friends.
Sorry, family you're stuck with dude!

Joe