Marriage

 Okay, for those of you who are married, knowing what you know now would you go back and not get married if you had the chance? I guess what I'm trying to ask is getting married worth it?

 3 times married. Yes, once you feel that person is actually a trusted family member to you, it's definitely worth it. On the other hand, it's hell if you feel that person is trying bring you down or change you.

Marriage is hard under the best cir****tances.  For me going through a dissolution now 1.5 years after getting married., I had some doubts and wondered and looking back I think there were a bunch of red flags I decided to overlook or ignore because I think
I justed wanted to be married.  I wanted a partner and a team mate.  What I now now is marriage doesn't make that happen.  You have to have a fantastic relationship I feel before hand because marriage does not "fix things"  and then it is way harder to correct after.  I would love to be married again, I love the concept and everything about marriage....it just has to be to the right person.  I settled and so wish I didn't.  Listen to that little voice inside you, it knows.  Hope that helps!

It's probably not a good idea to get married, buy or sell a house (if you have any say in the matter)or do anything that could be a major life changing event until at least a year after you've reached your idea light light weight. Losing weight causes a lot of euphoria which can confuse feelings and affect judgement. Combine being "in love" with a person or idea or anything and you could get way off track. 

Celebrated our 35th anniversary 5 days after my surgery. Not always great but rarely terrible. Ups and downs are the norm but I got lucky. Why anyone would put up with my crap is beyond explanation but I'm sure glad she does. I don't think I could function as only half of the whole we are today. As for your question about not being married if you have a choice, you always have a choice. As Mr. Spock said, "There are always alternatives." If you're not sure about getting married, then there's your answer. I wasn't sure how it would work out but I was absolutely sure I wanted to marry this person.
Good luck,
Jim

A few things...try and get pre marital couseling before the wedding.  There may be blind spots that it may be able to point out.  Also concerning blind spots.  I have heard it is good to play Monopoly with your future mate...to see how greedy each one it.  I've also heard it is good to wall paper a room with a future mate before marriage...things won't go right, it will get very frustrating and you'll have to work the problems out togeather!!  Another thought...wait a couple of years before having kids.  If the marrage is not solid...wait.  If it is solid (and you can tell by the second year)...go for the kids, if you'd like to.  Just my thoughts.  Brian

 Hmmm  that fella looks familiar ..   he's finally @ goal!     Great job again, Lance!   ^5

  And VERY good question ..  I'm almost ready to finally start dating @ 47 ...  So if I do seem to find "the right one" in the process and things get serious, better to be prepared (and forewarned) by the experienced gents  ..    &;-) 

We'll celebrate 13 years next July.  We married young and did just about everything wrong for the first year or two.  I quit college, she closed her business, we moved far away from home/friends/family, bad financial decisions, etc..I can relate to how along of young men feel about marriage.  I was scared.  Did I really want to sign off on ALL other women at the age of 21?  Could I handle being the "head of the household", and every other question I could think of.  We did the premarital counseling through our church and it was a real eye opener.  You have to look at it as a commitment before your God and your soon to be wife to love her and take care of her forever (big words, I know), not just while she's young and hot and you're banging each other every night and you can't get enough of just looking at her while she washes dishes or sleeps. 

I guess I got lucky.  I didn't know deep down that my wife was "the" one when we got married.  I THOUGHT she was, but honestly I've had doubts.  Now, at this point...I can't imagine life without her.  She's done so much for me over the years and the thought of going it alone is one that I can't even imagine now.  Good marriages get better with time.  Eventually you really do become "one".  Just the other night, I started twitching in bed because my back was itching just where I couldn't scratch.  Without even saying a word, she rolled over and started to scratch my back, now that's "being one".  She did all this half asleep and didn't even remember it the next moning!

I have to agree also about kids.  We were married 5 years before our first came along and 7 when #2 came.  We had a blast those first five years.  Getting to know each other, going on trips/vacations, and having the house to ourselves.  I sometimes feel a little bad for the couples that have kids after just a few months after marriage (or before!).  We love activities with our kids now because we've had "our time" now it's time for family.

All of that being said: I think alot of times we, as men, seem to over-think the idea of getting married.  What's your ultimate goal in life?  To die a creepy old guy who never got married or found someone to share your life with because you didn't see what you had in front of you?  You're not gonna be able to "play the field" forever it can be mightly lonely out there.  I cherish my wife...more every day.  Not to say that I don't yearn for a little bit of new stuff once in a while, but one has to have priorities.  

Good luck, regardless of what you decide. 

 To clarify, I'm not getting married anytime soon whatsoever. I mean this is years off for me. But I do sometimes wonder if I'm doing the right thing by staying with just one person forever and not 'playing the field' as someone just mentioned above this post. I've never had a good enough self-esteem and /or body to 'date' and so I've only been with 2 people in my life so far and I know as you get older the harder it gets to find mates and whatnot. I don't know what I want to do. I guess if I'm questioning it this badly I should just end it with my current gal before we get too much further along. But then I don't want to wake up 20 years from now and realize that I had the best thing ya know. Life is **** sometimes haha.

How old are you?  I'm guessing mid-20's or so?  I think you've got a while to think about it before you're too old to find a good piece of---err, lady.