Another New Guy

Hello Gentlemen (and any ladies that might be hanging out here):

So, I am a long-time reader of these boards, and I am hoping I will now become a long-time contributor.  I am 35, heathly (except for sleep apnea), and about 130 lbs overweight.  5'7'', 290lbs, strong and active as an ox, but I am absolutely aware of the impact of my excess weight on my long-term health and my prospects in my career (I have an MBA from a top school and work in a competitive field, where I think my weight might be holding me back).  Most of all, I want to be able to keep up with, and live a long time for, my precious sons.  Plus, being divorced, there is also the matter of appearing attractive to members of the opposite sex...

I am scheduled to have my surgery on the 20th of January.  I have been very excited about it until today, when I did the perfuctory google search for "WLS regrets"...so, it would seem things don't always go well.

I need some inspiration and straight talk about this from the dudes who have been there, done that...I can stick with a post-op plan, I can discipline myself...but when I say that, I think, "well, if you really had that much discipline, why do you need the damn surgery?"  Some of the regrets talk about people with no energy, no will, constant misery...I guess I wonder when I hear these stories if these people were like this before the surgery, or if the surgery did this to them?  I can run 3 miles on a treadmill, I have lost (and then regained) 30-50 lbs on my own...I am a happy energetic person who feels they are at the precipice of losing their health...I am wondering if this surgery will enhance my life, or destroy it...I feel predisposed to doing the hard work and making this successful...anyone here have any idea of what I am talking about?  Sorry to ramble...

During my first consult, I wrote my 12 reasons for wanting this surgery down, here they are...if anyone can chime in with some understanding and advice, please do so...make it harsh as you feel it should be - I'm a tough guy, I can take it.

Reasons I am getting a Roux-en-Y on January 20th:

1.       So I will not be ashamed to take pictures with my children

 

2.       So I will live as long as I can

 

3.       So I will go as far as I can in my career

 

4.       So I will feel better dating and have more confidence with women

 

5.       So I will look good at the beach

 

6.       So I can throw-away my CPAP

 

7.       So I can wear more stylish clothes

 

8.       So I can out run my sons

 

9.       So I can play with my sons until they are tired

 

10.   So I can fit better into movie theater sears, stadium seats, and amusement park seats

 

11.   So I will never have to ask for a seat-belt extension on an airplane

 

12.   So people can see the real me, not the 'fat' me

New Guy,

Man, your situation sounds very similiar to my own as far as size and health go.  I had surgery 10-21 and have dropped almost 50 pounds.  I have no doubts that you will be a great candidate for RNY.  You are healthy, you did not mention any previous surgeries. 

You are going to do fine.  The first two weeks are kinda of tough, but not anything you can't handle.  I was back to work in a week and was full go by the end of the second week. 

YOU WILL DO GREAT!!

SIP, SIP, SIP.
WALK, WALK, WALK
REST, REST, REST
Anything that concerns you, call your doc's office.

Also, trust the guys on this board.  They know what they are talking about.

Good luck and welcome to the loser's bench!

Wow!  Congrats on your changes and for using the tool so effectively.  I am feeling much better about things now...I have had one previous surgery (gall bladder removal), and that went perfectly fine.  I was walking an hour post op, and off the drugs two days later.  Thanks for the welcome!

Hey there welcome to the Locker Room. Glad to see some new guys. Revisiting old reasons why we all did this helps us stay on track.

I did it for health reasons that just finally tipped my scale. I wanted it also for me kids as I wanted to get down on the floor an play with them and now as they are bigger be able to ride that bike with them, as they can now out ride my walking.

I am only 3 months out of RNY but given that I have not had any regrets. I am happy with the 71 pounds lost to date and how I now approach eating. (I had better stay in that frame of mind.) I think there has been many difficulties and I now do things very differently and take many vitamins and minerals. But the benefit of now being able to bend over and tie my shoes without holding my breath. Being able to fit my kids in my lap and so much more far out weighs the other costs.

My case is simple. I know others on here have had some real hard and life threatening complications. It is not some simple quick fix and our medical life going forward will always be somewhat complicated. You need to weigh all the facts and decide what is right for you.

IMO: WLS is a 'tool' that helps you manage where you have 'failed' before. It is an awesome tool.

I applaud your enthusiasm.  I wouldn't worry about the worst case scenarios since they usually apply to people who are more prone to complications.  For example, I had to plead with my first surgeon to have my RNY because of severe lymphedema in my right leg.  The cardiologist was afraid I might throw a blood clot.  I argued that I was more likely to die if I didn't have the WLS.  Also, I was high risk with a starting weight of 571 and a BMI of 89.

When I look at your list, I just caution you about # 6.  I stopped using my CPAP about 6 years ago and now I'm probably going to need to get a new one.  The pulmonologist assured me that they don't even use the noisy kind I had and that she's sure my insurance co will pay for the new one (luckily it's a different ins co). 

About # 10 , a lot of us have a problem with body image both before and after WLS.  As you read the posts here, you'll read about many men who have lost most of their weight but still feel like the fat image of themselves.  There are many books out there about positive imaging.  This is not the same thing as positive thinking.  In positive imaging, you picture yourself in various situations and practice mentally going throw those situations in a positve way.  Studies have shown that the brain begins to build memories based on your positive images, i.e., you begin to develop new positve behaviors and attitudes based on your practice images.

Wow...awesome information on the CPAP and body image...I will certainly keep the mental aspects of this in mind going forward...thank you very much!

I like #19 myself. I'm tired of feeling like a squished grilled cheese sandwhich. All of the surgeries are indeed tools. They can all get you where you want to go if you work a program. WIshing you the best in your journey and keep posting.

I'm nearly 19 months out and my weight has stableized at 200. Thats about 146 lost.I was and am still lucky as I've had few if any complications.(Stricture about the only issue) Be sure you understand most people have few problems if they do what they're told. Get the most experienced surgeon and then the one that makes you feel special. Good luck Randy Winn

Man I had some of the same feelings you have stated.  This surgery will transform everything about you.  The surgery is a tool to help you regain control of your life.  I had mine about 10 months ago and it totally changed me physically, mentally, and socially.  I feel like a new person inside and out.  I now walk with a confident swagger and I feel like I own the room now when I walk into a place.  I was a confident person before surgery, even when I weighed 367 pounds and only stood 5'7".  I was a strong person physically and mentally, but I still felt like my weight was holding me back in all aspects of my life.  Now that I have lost about 150 pounds and weigh 215-220 pounds, I look like a well oiled machine - I work out like crazy now with weightlifting and cardio exercises.  I've gone from being strong and fat to strong and lean.  It is truly amazing.  I can't say it enough.  I look great and I feel great.  I've gone from being invisible in a room full of women, to being the guy who gets the cat calls and whistles.   Never would I have thought that this would be me just 10 months ago - actually, this has been going on now for about 3 months.  I was at or near my weightloss goal at about 6 months.  From 4XL shirts to 1XL shirts.  From a 56 waist to a 36-38 waist.  Trust me on this, just look at my pictures from before and after and you will see what I mean.  Everything you are hoping for and wishing for can be yours for the taking.  I used to dream about feeling the exact way I do now and looking like I do now.  I used to wonder if I could ever be the "hot guy" and what it would feel like.  Well now I know and trust me, it is worth evereything that you will go through in getting this surgery done - mentally and physically.  Life is great and looks great for the future.  I could not have said that 10 months ago.  I lived to eat everyday and now I eat to live.

Taz

There is a saying, every journey starts with the first step, deciding to have WLS is a BIG first step, so congratulations.

Do people regret WLS? Sure, lots of people. Sometimes there are complications, there are lots of people that regain weight after getting down to their goal weight, and some picked the wrong WLS for themselves. There is a revision forum, and a regrets forum on OH, and you might want to check it out, esp. if you're worried about "self control".

I can relate to everything you've listed, and can honestly say that WLS helps with most of them. You should be aware though that 5 may or may not come true. The reality is that losing weight doesn't automatically make you look fantastic on the beach (scars and loose skin). If you're hope is to look like the next Calvin Klein model it's just not going to happen, although you will look better....but better and good can be very relative terms...you should have a realistic picture of what WLS will do for your body.

I lost a ton of weight, but I was embarrassed to remove my cloths, because of all the excess skin, plastic surgery certainly helped, but it doesn't make your skin look like it would if you were never fat.

Scott