"Women's Mysteries Explained"

 Hmmmm  ..  I've always wondered about the "going to the bathroom together" thing too ...  : 

  http://personals.aol.com/articles/2008/06/20/womens-mysterie s-explained/?icid=200100397x1217275564x1201136850

Funny, Japanese women do go to the bathroom together, but so do the men!

A lot of the other stuff doesn't seem to happen. Like her "expecting you to read her mind" or insisting on hugging after sex just doesn't happen here.

I think a lot of that stuff happens in societies that are more individualistic. Japan is somewhat more of a collective society. The women are also much more "other centered," that is they are often concerned with what other people want, so you don't often hear them make demands like "hug me" or "figure me out."

That's my impression, anyway. I'll have to be careful to not abuse that "other centeredness."

Dave

   That's for mentioning those points, Dave ..  I wondered how many of those "behaviors" were culture-based rather than a gender thing, per se   ..  Sounds like quite a few of them are .. 

  Wow ..  I remember that term"other-centered" as a type of psychological therapy from way back in my college daze ..      I think it was part of the "bahaviorism" thing, although I can't remember who the founder of it was ..

  btw, I didn't know if you were aware of it, but we have a new OH member who is also in Japan ..  She is flying to the U.S. I think this month for her WLS (DS) with Dr. Gagner, IIRC ..  Her name is Aime or some such ..   I mentioned you to her in a reply post and suggested she she might want to PM you to see if you guys live close to each other ..  Would be great to have another WLSer there for you to help out, I bet ..   

 I don't remember if I got it from college or from some later reading when I was trying to figure out Japan. To sum up, I haven't seen many of them getting pissed off when men aren't living up to their expectations, especially in terms of ways of thinking. Could be that people simply feel it's impossible to change the way a person thinks, which is pretty true when you think about it. You certainly aren't going to change it in a handful of ***** sessions.

"Has visions of one person trying to 'set another straight'. Isn't that what they are perpetually trying to do. It's not only western, though. I saw it a lot in China. I suppose it has a lot to do with how "malleable" a culture thinks people are. Thought reform has always been big in China and Christianity is about "being your brother's keeper". Christianity is all about changing  oneself. Japanese people tend to think that people are born a certain way and don't change easily.