Not to open a can of worms, but... (PNC)
Okay, obviously this isn't something people are eager to address, so I'll start.
My first thought? POOR BARB!!! I need to get in touch with her and find out how she's doing, send her my love and healing vibes. I just HATE that she struggles so with her healing!
Second, I've always been resistant to change. Had some knee-jerk reactions to the changes proposed, but I've come to believe that addressing a broader range of topics that affect us as WLS patients can be a GOOD thing. I'm not sure it'll all hit home with me personally, but I'm willing to participate and see where it goes.
The biggest thought about the whole deal? I hope the format doesn't get changed TOO much. Yes, we have gone really far off-topic at times. Yes, there have often been side-conversations that have been annoying and distracting - I've been on both sides of that coin. But the social aspect of our regular get togethers is VERY IMPORTANT to ME. My first support group meeting was 2/28/07, and I have gone twice per month ever since, with precious few exceptions (being out of town is about the only reason I've missed one). Obviously, SOMETHING about the group has kept me coming back, has given me SOMETHING I need to keep my WLS a priority. I don't want to find myself in a classroom-type setting, being lectured to, having the entire 90 minutes outlined for me. There needs to be plenty of flexibility. And laughs. Laughter is good, I don't care WHO you are.
And my LAST thought is about the going around with introductions and sharing our weight loss. I know some people are uncomfortable with that, and that's perfectly fine. I think if the facilitator stresses that it is each person's option to share or NOT to share, then those who prefer not to share won't be innocently asked "how much have YOU lost?" It certainly has never been mandatory. I liked it when there was a specific bit asked for - a NSV, a WOW, something specific to tag onto sharing your name. But I think back to when I was newer - hearing those numbers was HUGE for me! Seeing people and hearing how much weight they had lost as a result of their WLS? That was the BEST way for me to validate what I was putting myself through! IF so 'n so lost that much and looks that great? YAY!!! I WANT THAT!!! And I also think it's a valuable way for us to remain accountable. If I am going to tell a room full of people 'Hi, I'm Darla, I'm X months out, and I've lost X pounds', and if I KNOW that's going to be a part of each meeting, well, it's going to help keep me on task so that I don't feel humiliated when it's my turn to share.
Okay, there, I got that off my chest. There may be more, but I really wanted to know how others felt. And if I'm alone in wanting to discuss this, I'll just pull the thread, that's okay, too.
My first thought? POOR BARB!!! I need to get in touch with her and find out how she's doing, send her my love and healing vibes. I just HATE that she struggles so with her healing!
Second, I've always been resistant to change. Had some knee-jerk reactions to the changes proposed, but I've come to believe that addressing a broader range of topics that affect us as WLS patients can be a GOOD thing. I'm not sure it'll all hit home with me personally, but I'm willing to participate and see where it goes.
The biggest thought about the whole deal? I hope the format doesn't get changed TOO much. Yes, we have gone really far off-topic at times. Yes, there have often been side-conversations that have been annoying and distracting - I've been on both sides of that coin. But the social aspect of our regular get togethers is VERY IMPORTANT to ME. My first support group meeting was 2/28/07, and I have gone twice per month ever since, with precious few exceptions (being out of town is about the only reason I've missed one). Obviously, SOMETHING about the group has kept me coming back, has given me SOMETHING I need to keep my WLS a priority. I don't want to find myself in a classroom-type setting, being lectured to, having the entire 90 minutes outlined for me. There needs to be plenty of flexibility. And laughs. Laughter is good, I don't care WHO you are.
And my LAST thought is about the going around with introductions and sharing our weight loss. I know some people are uncomfortable with that, and that's perfectly fine. I think if the facilitator stresses that it is each person's option to share or NOT to share, then those who prefer not to share won't be innocently asked "how much have YOU lost?" It certainly has never been mandatory. I liked it when there was a specific bit asked for - a NSV, a WOW, something specific to tag onto sharing your name. But I think back to when I was newer - hearing those numbers was HUGE for me! Seeing people and hearing how much weight they had lost as a result of their WLS? That was the BEST way for me to validate what I was putting myself through! IF so 'n so lost that much and looks that great? YAY!!! I WANT THAT!!! And I also think it's a valuable way for us to remain accountable. If I am going to tell a room full of people 'Hi, I'm Darla, I'm X months out, and I've lost X pounds', and if I KNOW that's going to be a part of each meeting, well, it's going to help keep me on task so that I don't feel humiliated when it's my turn to share.
Okay, there, I got that off my chest. There may be more, but I really wanted to know how others felt. And if I'm alone in wanting to discuss this, I'll just pull the thread, that's okay, too.
Imperfect does not = unsuccessful
Hi. I wasn't at the meeting, so I don't know what was proposed, but I do have some comments. I am a pre op, hoping to have surgery at PNC in the spring. I have learned a ton from this site and the profiles people are willing to share. Reading the MN forum has given me the impression that this is a very active, friendly, accepting group and I was anxious to attend a support meeting. I attended one about a month ago.
I am a bit of an introvert, especially in large groups, so first off I found it to be a bit intimidating to ask questions and talk in front of so many people. I would be so much more comfortable in smaller groups. There seem to be several extroverts in the group that do much of the talking - this makes it hard to find a pause to speak up. I have only been to the one meeting so maybe this one was the exception, but it did feel like there was no "theme" and the group really got off track and mired down on some topics. This was supposed to be the one that had a theme.
Because of the large group format, I have actually considered looking into other support groups to see if it is more my speed. It may also be that once I get to know people and especially after surgery when I can personally relate to the topics I will be more comfortable. Then again, this may be just my being a bit introverted and totally a "personal" problem
Just my two cents.
Amelia
I am a bit of an introvert, especially in large groups, so first off I found it to be a bit intimidating to ask questions and talk in front of so many people. I would be so much more comfortable in smaller groups. There seem to be several extroverts in the group that do much of the talking - this makes it hard to find a pause to speak up. I have only been to the one meeting so maybe this one was the exception, but it did feel like there was no "theme" and the group really got off track and mired down on some topics. This was supposed to be the one that had a theme.
Because of the large group format, I have actually considered looking into other support groups to see if it is more my speed. It may also be that once I get to know people and especially after surgery when I can personally relate to the topics I will be more comfortable. Then again, this may be just my being a bit introverted and totally a "personal" problem
Just my two cents.
Amelia
Hey neighbor!
I hope you do decide to come to PNC, AND some coffee get-togethers! It is by far and away the BEST thing you can do to keep yourself focused on your WLS and succeeding with it, IMHO. Pre-op AND post-op.
Most people do look at me as one of those extroverts (okay, I deserve it most of the time), but I also enjoy and get a lot out of listening to what others have to say. It DOES take a bit of stepping outside your comfort zone to make these groups valuable to YOU, but you'll never regret it. No one bites, everyone is willing to share their experience, advice, and a boot when needed.
If you would like to get together with me sometime one-on-one, I'd be happy to find a time to meet you somewhere up in your neck of the woods! (Caribou? Dunn Bros.? I'm an equal-opportunity coffee drinker!) I promise I won't bite, and maybe if you meet a few of us at the coffee groups, the big scary PNC group won't seem so big & scary! PM me if you'd like
I hope you do decide to come to PNC, AND some coffee get-togethers! It is by far and away the BEST thing you can do to keep yourself focused on your WLS and succeeding with it, IMHO. Pre-op AND post-op.
Most people do look at me as one of those extroverts (okay, I deserve it most of the time), but I also enjoy and get a lot out of listening to what others have to say. It DOES take a bit of stepping outside your comfort zone to make these groups valuable to YOU, but you'll never regret it. No one bites, everyone is willing to share their experience, advice, and a boot when needed.
If you would like to get together with me sometime one-on-one, I'd be happy to find a time to meet you somewhere up in your neck of the woods! (Caribou? Dunn Bros.? I'm an equal-opportunity coffee drinker!) I promise I won't bite, and maybe if you meet a few of us at the coffee groups, the big scary PNC group won't seem so big & scary! PM me if you'd like
Imperfect does not = unsuccessful
Was Barb at the meeting or is she still out recovering? Did PNC propose these changes you are talking about or did they come from the group? I wasn't there, but I am very much interested in where these meetings may go.
Banded 7/27/05 (338 highest/310 surgery/193 lowest)
Revision to RNY 10/3/08 (251 at pre-op RNY appt, 238 day of Surgery)
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