OT: Struggling -sorry its long

I’m struggling this week with some things I’ve discovered my husband has been doing.   Before my surgery he struggled for about 10 years with a very bad gambling problem. He’s been coming with me to counseling for about a 9 months now and things seemed to have been going really well. He never got professional help with his gambling but it had stopped for at least a year. Now at work he’s struggling because they are super busy he normally works 3 am to 1pm but because they have been so busy he’s been working from midnight to 1pm.  The stress is really getting to him and I thought he was handling it well but it turns out he’s not. 

I discovered on Friday he went to the casino and spent about $160 that we really didn’t have to waste there. I confronted him about this in a gentle non angry way and he did confess (usually he doesn’t confess even when he is caught). He admitted to me how sorry he was and ashamed he is about gambling. If you ever had an addict in your life you so want to believe them but you’ve been burned so many times its hard but then you feel guilt for not believing them.    It’s a very vicious cycle to be in. I told him that I wasn’t going to put up with this again and that he needed to find a way that is healthier to cope with his stress at work.   
  Now this morning I discovered something else that I have never known him to do in the past that is really disturbing.   I take Adderall for ADD; which is a stimulant and a controlled substance. I’ve been on this medication for about 7 years.   My prescription is to take 2 pills a day but I only take 1 pill a day so a bottle usually lasts me 60 days.   Well last month I noticed I ran out in less than 30 days so at first I thought this was really strange and may be the pharmacy miscounted the pills or something. So I called my doctor and she reluctantly gave me another prescription to fill with strict note saying she would not fill this prescription again until after 30 days.   So this month I’ve been noting the pills that I had and there were 60 pills in the bottle that I keep in my purse but as the month went on I did notice that it seemed to be going really fast and I knew I wasn’t taking more than I should; but I put it out of my mind because I didn’t want to believe that some one else was taking my medication.    

This morning I couldn’t ignore the missing medicine anymore I had 5 pills left and I should have at least 25 pills left so I knew someone was taking them from me. The only person it could be would be my husband.   I took the pills out of my purse and now hid them so he can’t get to them. But I also called him and asked him what was going on. At first he admitted he took 1 this morning but I know he has been taking them for at least a month.   I’m really scared by this behavior. I don’t know really how to act; do I just hide my pills and hope that this stops or do I now worry that he can’t get to my pills that he’s going to get them somewhere else?   I called our counselor to reach out to him to see if he would go see her by himself. I’m hoping he will but if he doesn’t I’m worried about what to do next.  

wow, Kathy, I am sorry to hear what you have been struggling with.  I don't have any experience with addiction (other than my own food and smoking issues) so I can't offer much advice, but I want you to know I am thinking about you.  It does sound like this is something you can't handle alone - it was a smart move to get your counselor involved - hopefully they can guide you.

I would continue to hide your medication from him, even if you think he may get it somewhere else.  You shouldn't be making it easy for him to get.

Hope you see you on saturday - it is good for you to get support from people you know are looking out for your best interests. 

Amelia

I don't have any advice, but wanted to tell you I'm sorry you're going through this.   I hope your councelor can help him with the pill issue. 

Kathy-
I am sorry you are going through this.  I'm glad you are seeking help and not trying to deal with this on your own.  My experience in this is very limited and I think you have a good handle on this by not being an enabler to him.  Please lean on all of us here when you need to vent.  Hope to see you Saturday.
Donna

Addiction is so evil!  It seems to jump so easily from one thing to another.  I went straight from food to alcohol, and have been abstinent for almost a year - 5/10 is my 1 year.   Hopefully your counselor will see that when your husband quit gambling, the addiction may have transferred to the prescription drug use.  There is help available, and your husband can overcome this with the right help.  I will keep you in my prayers. 

I don't know what to say except I am thinking of you...... It is good you called the councilor...........Good luck to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kathy:

I am sorry you are going through this.  It sounds to me like you handled everything just right so that your husband knows that you love him, but that he needs to get help with his addiction problem.  Being willing to get that help is up to him.  You and he are in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care,

RP

Wow Kathy, I am so sorry you are going through this. My thoughts are with you. I think counseling and perhaps  an ultimatum is in order. I think he needs to really figure out what he wants out of life. Besides that, hide the pills for sure.

Hugs to you, Cathy-this is a rough one.  You were right on in confronting him and hiding your pills-and definitely he needs an ultimatum that he MUST seek help, this behavior cannot continue.  He is hurting and stressed, but he cannot be allowed to use that as an excuse to give in to addiction of any kind.  I pray for you that he will get help and get through this-
Stay strong-
lynn

He might be taking the Adderall to help him stay awake in the job. Those hours indefinately really suck.