some more questions...

I told one of my co-workers that I planned on having the RNY (don't have a date yet but hopefully soon). She is the first person who said I shouldn't do it because she knows someone who is now an alcoholic after WLS and her "personality changed". She also said she knows somone who had surgery and is now in the hospital dying because she can't absorb nutrients and weighs 70 lbs. These are the first negative stories I've heard about WLS and I'm not going to let them change my mind. I've heard so much GOOD about WLS and I know it's risky but I have to do it for ME!  Anyone else heard of any "horror stories"?

Thanks,
Lynn

That's precisely why I didn't tell anyone I worked with.  I told only my sister and two friends.  In fact, my parents still don't know.  You'd have to know my parents.  They said one time, "What are you doing to lose weight?"  I just said "I'm exercising and I don't each much."  Heck, it's not a lie!  Then they just changed the subject, which they usually do.  I didn't want anyone talking me out of it or telling me horror stories.

I used to work with a woman who said she knew someone who'd died from the surgery, so I didn't talk about it with anyone at that job.  This woman could have used it a lot more than me, too.  She's since had the surgery herself and looks wonderful!

There's a risk with any surgery, but this is something I needed and I decided to take that risk.  There are far more good outcomes than bad.  I was taken off two blood pressure meds in the hospital and the third by the end of the year (2005).  I no longer have to use my CPAP, either.  And the best thing for me was when I could cross my knees!    Finding out I have a tailbone bothered me for a while, though, 'cause I lost all the padding!  

Thanks  for the response. I for sure won't be telling anyone else! People's reactions are so different. Of the ones I've told, a few of them have said, "oh there's no way you qualify" and I tell them oh yes I do and that I have to do it for my health. That usually gets them quiet real fast! 

P.S. I look forward to the time when I can cross my legs :)

Honestly, no one I've talked to has said anything that negative!  Most of my family and friends are thrilled for me because they know I'm doing this for my health and it's a great thing!  Keep coming here for support and encouragement.  I know some people have had trouble now and again and I think everyone knows it's for the best!!  PS - I live in Cottage Grove, we're neighbors!

As you encounter more people who find out about it or you tell, you'll hear more and more about the failed or horror stories.. its like the nightly news reports all the bad news.. not the 90% of the good news. They highlight the other 10%... And just like any major surgery, there are risks, failures, and complications. And yes, if people don't eat right they can have MAJOR health problems post-surgery from malnutrition and other issues related to diet. 

I took the time to research and decide on surgery over the last 2 years.. So I'm fully aware of what risks I'm facing going into this. But the rewards highly outweigh the risks.

The deal with the "alcoholic" friend she mentioned is that some people who have food addictions pre-surgery end up transferring the addiction to another form..because physically they can't use food anymore- to gambling, alcohol, smoking, drugs, etc.. its part of the reason we all go through the psych eval before the surgeons will do surgery.

Only a handful of people at my job who are close to me know about my surgery and they are supportive. I don't think I'll say anything until after I go back to work.. it will be obvious then because of the weight loss and the way I'm eating.. so I guess I don't think it can be kept a secret.. and I'm proud of my decision anyway.. 

Heck, lots of people will tell you horror stories. WHY? Because that's all people ever remember!! So don't DON'T DON'T listen to them. Those horror stories are out there but are far and few in between. Do your research, be smart and go for it. Heck, I heard TONS of horror stories about the band... mostly from people who didn't know ANYTHING about the band. 

Elena is completely right.. even the close supportive people here at work (and mind you I work at a hospital so we're all medically informed and knowledgable) STILL tell the stories about this or that where the surgery didn't work or had complications, etc..  because thats what they remember or stands out.  

It is a personal choice, I certainly would not take the opinion of co-workers into account unless those individuals are close to you, in which case you can tell them you have researched this decision.  Haven't we all spent too much of our lives fretting about what others think?

Don't get me wrong, it IS a big decision, but one only you have to make.

As long as you know in your heart that this is right for you, the stories don't matter much.  Yes, bad things can happen.  But for every complication or bad outcome, I'd be willing to guess there are DOZENS, if not HUNDREDS of happy WLS'ers!!!  You have your reasons.  You have the right to share or not to share your news with people, but once the weight starts melting off, most will figure it out.  Just follow the rules, be sure to take your vitamins and supplements religiously, and you'll add to the GOOD stats!

The same thing happened to me the first time I got pregnant.  All of a sudden, every woman who ever had a pain during pregnancy or a difficult delivery just HAD to share every gory detail with me.  What's with that?  I think people like the draaaama of it and want someone to listen to their story.  I just listened (or not) and said " it is what it is and my experience is going to be what it will be" and let it roll off my shoulders.

My attitude is when you share personal information with people, you invite a response.  Unfortunately, it isn't always the response you would like.  If you can't deal with some negativity, don't share your info to begin with.  I personally have never had anyone give me a hard time about not breast feeding (I had breast reduction when I was 19, but no one knew that), having c-sections (my first birth revealed a too narrow bone structure to pass a baby - what a shock!), being a working mother, having a stay at home husband, being a female engineer in a male dominated profession, having WLS, etc. etc. etc. 

See how many controversial things there are in life?  After your WLS, I am sure there will be more!

Just my 2 cents....
Amelia