I got the "you have lost enough" comment today
While I knew that someday it might come, I didn't think so soon.....
What do you say when someone says, ok you have lost enough. Seriously, I know that I have lost alot of weight again really recently. But I am 179lbs. That is not a lightweight by any means.
The comment is eating at me and made me look at myself in the mirror naked and there are still SOOOOOO many things I dislike and I still have tummy swelling from my TT. Would my friends tell me if I was too thin? What is too thin?
See, for most of my life, I've been overweight. People were able to hide behind me - literally and figuratively. Once I started getting "smaller", others attitudes changed. Most shocking was that my family's attitudes changed. Instead of encouraging me, they started discouraging me and putting me down. "You've lost enough weight", "You're too thin", "stop starving yourself", "you have to stop losing weight"..... After a while it wears on you.
A friend told me to hit back with this comment - which I still use to this day. "Thank you for your concern. However I am being closely monitored by a doctor and he feels that I am safe with losing a few more pounds". And "I am healthy".
This isn't a YOU thing. Its an insecure feeling others have - most likely about themselves. They will be critical of everything you do - from how much you exercise, to how much you eat, to the choice of foods you eat. Smile, thank them for their concern, and walk away. That is all you can do.
Good luck! And you look GREAT!
Kelly
Kel
I'll certainly use the 'thanks for your concern' response.
Jess:
In my opinion there are just some points during our weight loss where we look a little sickly to some people. My oldest son, who lives in Pittsburgh, hadn't seen me for 6 months after my surgery and he openly stared at me and asked me repeatedly if I felt OK. Looking at some pictures from that time period, I would have to say that I did look a bit gaunt. My weight now is only 5 lbs less than it was then, but I look healthier. I guess what I am trying to say is that if you and your surgeon are OK with your continuing weight loss, then go for it. Expect some redistribution of your proportions for several months after you have hit your goal weight. Try to brush off the comments you get until then.
RP
"You've lost enough" translates in English to "You're starting to look better than me and I feel scared about it."
Keep in mind too that most of us will LOOK thinner than the scale says. With our heavy bones and muscles which are dense and have been built up over the years from carrying our heavy loads...we will be heavier than what people see. I think I freaked my mother out when I told her I weighed 160 lbs. She would have guessed 135. Who else but a WLS post-op can weigh 160 and wear a size 10?
I say, keep them guessing. It's our turn to be the thin one of the group! Whether it be family or friends...as long as we're healthy - try to let the stupid yucky comments run off. Also, remember that the new you is new to everyone. It will take time for family and friends and co-workers to get used to you. After a few years, it won't be a big deal - and people won't be obsessing anymore about how much you're losing etc. There will even be people in your life that never knew you fat. That's the thing that gets me now...6 years post-op. There are new people in my life that only know the thinner, healthy weight me. Wait until you hear: "what? you were overweight? No way!"
Lori J.
It's better to be imperfectly happy than perfectly unhappy. 
