Something to share with my Sisters

We don't post often on this board, but thought I might share with you sisters, especially the younger ones that have not got their children raised yet, one of the neat expeiences of being a mother with grown children. I only have three children that I gave birth to, at one point or the other all three have totally fallen away from the church. I now have two of them back and active, both girls. The only son is now totally away from the church, and he was the only one that would go to church with me as a teenager. You get the picture, we raise them one way, they end up having to find their way on their own. My eldest daughter is 32 years old. She got pregnant at 16 gave birth to her eldest child at 17. The Bishop at the time only dis-fellowshiped her because I pleaded with him not to excommunicate her. And he was Xing teenagers at the time in numbers (like 6 or 7 in a sweep). For those of you that live in Idaho and Utah, excommunication is not as prevalent with teenagers, but we have seen it to be very common in other parts of the country. I refused to insist that these kids get married just for appearances sake. I'm sure that many people thought I was doing the wrong thing, but I couldn't see how that was going to be the answer, nor did I have any intention of taking this young man into my home to support. Which is how I saw it at the time, he was 17 as well. Besides the fact that she was angry at him the whole pregnancy. My daughter felt that it was very important that she keep this child she was going to have, and wouldn't even consider me contacting LDS Social Services. Here again church folks thought I didn't know what I was doing. I actually got to where I withdrew from many of the sisters at that time in my life, because of disapproval, and judgment of my parenting. My husband and I were not short of income, so we promised to see that she and the baby were well provided for, she could remain in our home, and have everything she needed. We provided her with the rest of her high school education, while the father was finishing his. She even went to counseling to work out whether or not she should marry this young man, as he was insistent that they should be married when he got out of school. This they did just a few days after high school graduation. There son was 18 months old the day they married. The father had already arranged to join the Army, so was soon to have a paycheck and a way to take care of them. Over the next nine years, as an Army wife, she would keep coming into contact with other LDS folks in the Military, and once asked me if I was sending people to find her. I said no, but of course in a way I was, because I was always praying for her. Finally a visiting teacher came to her house when she lived at Ft. Rucker AL, that helped her find her way back to church, she revealed none of this to me, until after sometime she finally asked me what she had to do to have the dis-fellowship thing removed. I was actually surprised, and told her she just had to go to her bishop and talk it out with him. Very soon after she resolved the issue, her husband joined the church. They were sealed a year later in one of the European Temples, as they had then gone to Germany. I know I'm rambling on here, but the part I'm getting at, is this; I teach the the 4th Sunday lessons in my Branch RS. It's a bit of a job making the sermons into some kind of a lesson, but I've been doing it for about three years now, and sometimes I feel like they are good, and sometimes who knows. My daughter recently relocated to a new base in Germany putting her in a new ward. Most of the wards in Germany (due to the drawdown of the military) are now Germans and Americans combined, so there is a need to have folks translating at all times. My daughter was called to teach the same 4th Sunday lessons. And this past Sunday we ended up with the same sermon. My dear daughter had spent a great deal of time working on a lesson plan for this particular sermon, sent me a copy of it, she told me I was free to use it. Well I was so impressed, and probably my RS was as well, because it's the first time I ever stood in front of them with more than a group of notes, and a brief outline of where I was going with the lesson. I couldn't help but brag (bragging or praising the Lord) that my daughter had prepared that lesson outline. Perhaps only a mother that has had a wayward child can appreciate the joy this simple thing brought this old mother. I bear you my testimony, that if we wait long enough, pray hard enough, we will see what the lord has planned come to past. Linda Woods

Thank You Linda. I needed to hear that. I have 4 children. 1 girl and 3 boys. 2 boys served missions and have temple marriages. The other 2 are married to good people but non memebers. However my daughter has had both of her children blessed and asks for blessings from her brothers and home teachers. Up until a couple of years ago her husband would not allow home teachers or any contact with the church. For the last 2 years she has attended Womens Conf. with me. Now the other boy refuses to talk about the church and has not had either of his children blessed. I pray all of the time for something to change. Your story gives me hope. Thanks

Linda, feel free to ramble anytime you want. I didn't consider it rambling. I felt it was spirit filled testimony bearing. As today starts our fast for fast Sunday it was very pleasurable to read this. I've learned something recently (I can be a bit dense and slow at times). When we exercise and want to gain strength we learn "No pain, no gain". We often have to endure the pain to realize the gain from exercising. The same is true for exercising our faith. If we want to gain more faith we have to endure the "pain" that's involved when our faith is exercised to have our faith grow. Thank you for sharing something so personal. Love, Melody

Hi Linda, I think that was a wonderful "thought"! I am a new mother, just starting out. My husband has 2 children from a previous marriage ages 14-f & 10-m. The 10-m lives with us. We now have a beautiful 5 month old baby girl. I recently discovered that I am once again "with child". We are so excited. It is sad to see that my step-daughter is not allowed to go to church. While she was here visiting with us this summer, she was so excited to read the scriptures and attend young women's class with all the girls her age. She would even remind us to read scriptures as a family and offer to say prayer. It was great to see her enthusiasm, but sad to know that once she returned to live with her mother that would all fade away. At least it is good to know that she had some exposure to the truth, recognised it for what it was and hopefully when she is older can choose for herself to attend and maybe one day be baptized. I am currently living in Germany. We started out in the Army but my husband has since gotten out and is now a civilian worker. We are stationed in Heidelberg. Where is your daughter? I hope she likes it here. We are fortunate enough to have wards big enough to still be broken down into German and American. Although we have been tempted to attend the German ward for more exposure to the culture and language. Thanks again for your thoughts. They will come in handy I'm sure! Brenda

Dear Brenda, I read your email yesterday morning. Got on the IM with daughter in your neck of the woods, and promptly lost my response that I was writing to you. I found it more than fortunate that you responded to my email, as I had observed when I first joined this forum that you were young and living in Heidelberg. I lived in Heidelberg from 1979 to 1982 when my children were small. My daughter lives now in the Ansbach Ward, they were in Wurtzburg, but that area is in the process of being closed. They are at an Air Base (can't think of the name at the moment) her husband is a Blackhawk pilot, and has been deployed the majority of the time they have been in Germany. She was actually in Heidelberg last Friday to do some of her favorite shopping places. She loves the Craft Shop, which I think is at the old Patton Barracks. She is going to teach quilting in her area this Fall. On this visit, she said she actually located the quarters we lived in at Patrick Henry Village. She was only 7 when we left there, so had a little trouble locating the place, but once she found it, there was no question in her mind, that she had it right. One of the other interesting things is that the man she is married too, was living as a child in Nuremberg, at the same time we were in Heidelberg. But they met as teens in high school in Oklahoma, after both of their fathers were retired from the Army. I'll send you an email latter with her address, I suspect you may be fairly close in age, well you would be younger than her. It is so exciting that you have a child, and another on the way! Is this perhaps the result of health changes because of your surgery? Actually I had this surgery because my daughter had looked into it for herself, and then chickened out. She is still thinking about it though. Her kids are 14 (boy) and 12 (girl). She is teaching them at home again, as she has tried both ways, and decided to go back to the Home School Method. She runs into the aspect that folks her and husbands age, have much younger children than they do. But that's what happens when you start a family young. LOL I have something else in common with you. When I was a young mother in Heidelberg, I had two step-children in my realm of my responsibility. At that time they were both angry teenagers, because their mother had chosen to take no responsibility for them, and sent them to live with their father and I when they were only 7 and 9. The current plan is that I will be coming to Germany in April. Dear daughter and I are going to spend some time in England, where I never got to go when she was a child. Important to me, because in my younger days, I read old English Parish Registers for the names submission programs of the Church. This is long dear girl, so will spare you for now. Feel free to take this off forum if you would like. My email address is set up, to receive emails. Love you already, just looking at your picture, Linda Woods

Dear Linda, I needed this! Between my Husband and I we have 8 children we both have 3 girls and two boys between us 6 baptized and one acvtive that is mine he had two girls baptized about 5yrs aftter are marriage after there mom became homeless and they came to live with us. There mom had way to much influnce (she is very evil and wordly). My Darcie actuily is sealed to my Husband and I. My x is also evil and wordley may but not as bad the other x but it is so strange that both of are xs are so imorale. My x hasn't even talked to his daughter that is active in the church much since she got married in the Temple. Go figure. even thou he has 3 grandkids. I just need to here storys like this. my mother went threw the same thing when I got pregnut. by supporting me she got that church shun from the other sisters. and she was wierd too by thinking it would be better for me to not have my daughter blesed in a sacrement meeting. O then I ended up marriing the the father of the baby what a mistake he promised to take to the Temple never happened. o and the Bishop told me not to marry him unless he had the temple recomend in his hand. no I belived him. 18 yrs later no temple and a divorce. Thanks Saralan