Bit hopefull

I'm trying to think of all the 'positives' about our move this weekend. I don't kow that I can really go into "all that is new' in my life. In short....In July I was in the psych unit for 6 days again. We moved across the street the next week. Then last month our parental rights were 'officially' terminated for our oldest adopted child. Few weeks ago my dh was arrested and went to jail because "he" was late on 'his' portion of our child support for our 'no longer adopted child'. My parents paid the bond....Then 4 days later I had a hysterectomy, we decided to "move" again because of severe mold in our home and my daughter is constantly sick....I went back to work on Monday..6 days after my hysterectomy. And tonight...I'm not in a really good space. BUT in all of this.... I'm hopefull that our new ward will be "welcoming". I've been inactive for the last 6 months mainly because of "my" own issues. Which circulate around Corry (our ex-oldest child). You see...when we got married 13 yrs ago we lived in this ward. 75% of the members who lived in this ward then...live here now. They all "remember Corry, Corry's birth mother, Corry's birth grandparents". (We were all from the same ward. His grandparents have since moved and his birth mother is in and out of prison) And the members are either supportive of James and I or they aren't. I hold a lot of 'frustration/anger' at LDS SS for placing this child w/us. That mixed w/the 'attitude' of some of the members led me to stop going. I was tired of going to church and having well meaning, older woman asking me "Do you suffer from depression?". ACK!! Come on people...there are 'nicer' ways of asking someone if they are doing okay. You know. Quite frankly...I'm not doing okay. Wasn't then and didn't want to discuss my dirty laundry w/her or any of her other nosey sister friends!!!! SOO...this new ward. We've live din this ward before. I think many of the members different from when we lived here before. Most of them do not know about Corry and probably never will. And I don't have to feel like I'm being judged because....they don't have to know. Even more so...I will not have people asking me every Sunday "How's Corry". The last time someone asked methat I wasn't very Christ-like and told them in short that "I didn't know and I didn't care and they could mind their own business and NOT ask me about him again". Just rambling tonight. It is nearly midnight. I'm 100% off my narcotic pain med and it wasn't going well. So I gave in tonight and just took a vicoden. I couldn't take it any more. I hurt in places that I shouldn't hurt. Thanks for listening. Gala

Hello Gala, I am sorry that you are going through all of this. It sounds like you have had your fair share of trials as of late. I hope your new ward is great and that you find a lot of loving supportive members there. Just remember that no matter what the members in your new ward are like that you are Heavenly Fathers daughter and Jesus Christ is your elder brother who has experienced all the pain and sorrows that you will ever walk through and that going to church and partaking of the sacrement is the way to show our love for themn and to draw closer to them and cleanse ourselves for the coming week. So no matter what your new ward is like (and I hope they are wonderful) that you will benifit the most if you go to sacrement meeting and partake of all that is offered there. I am sorry about your son. It must be a very painful situation. Our children can be a source of great joy and great sorrow. I imagine just as we are to our Heavenly parents. I hope you feel better soon and I will keep you in my prayers. hugs Lynn

Gala, hearing your problems make my problems feel insignificant. I would like you to know that you can vent anytime. We'll listen. I hope you got to listen to conference. Elder Bednar gave a wonderful talk about people who become less active to non-active. He said that when he was a steak president he would call each bishop of the wards and ask them to pray about less active members and he would go with that bishop and visit the home of the less active member. He went on to say that he would ask the less active members the reason they had not been going to church. He was given a variety of reasons but the overwhelming percentage of the people stated that at one time or another they had been offended by someone in their ward. Elder Bednar went on to tell the member that they were allowing someone else to cheat them out of the blessings of the gospel, the blessings of taking the sacrement, etc... He then told them they needed to return to activity again. NOW. Not later. This may not pertain to your situation at all but I was concerned when you were talking about not being active because of the inconsiderate remarks made by the members of your previous ward. I wish you happiness and a feeling belonging in your new ward. You have been in my prayers but I will be more dilligent in keeping your name in my prayers and asking our Heavenly Father to help you know that he is mindful of your situation. hugs Melody

Gala, I, too, feel selfish & that my "problems" are just insignificant. I am so sorry for the troubles you have experienced. You must have some strong shoulders! I wish that I had the magic words to make everything all better. Years ago, I walked out of Relief Society in tears due to something that the RS President said that totally embarassed me. Another sister (who I was not close to at all, and we really didn't care a whole lot for each other!) came running after me crying as well. She begged me not to let another member chase me from church. She was crying and said don't let someone else keep you from the Celestial Kingdom. She was right. Now when someone asks me a particularly nosey question, I just follow the advice of Ann Landers and ask them... "Why do you ask?" They'll probably just say something about caring about you, etc. Simply tell them, "Thank you for your concern." Tell them NOTHING that you don't want to and just walk away. I really don't mean to tell you what to do... this is just what I do. Just know that we all love you and support you. We are happy to listen to you. There are many days where I need to vent, too. After 21 years, I've realized that DH ISN'T Prince Charming and can be a real pain in the neck at times! And our children!?!?!? My son is away at school and only contacts us when he wants something. Figures. My prayers are with you. Take a deep breath and talk to your Heavenly Father. He loves you, too.