Mormon Football Plays

Baby Blues
on 11/12/06 10:03 pm - Roy, UT

Mormon Football Plays Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during meeting. Draw Play - What the kids do with the program during Sacrament. Half-time - Sunday School Bench warmer - Those members who do not sing, pray, participate, or apparently do anything but just sit and warm the bench. Backfield-in-Motion - People in the back of the Chapel going to the rest-room or water fountain during the meeting. Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of tithing that should have been paid three weeks ago. Two-minute Warning - The point at which the concluding speaker says, "In conclusion, I would like to bear my testimony" and you start to gather up your children and belongings. Instant Replay - The speaker loses his notes and falls back on repeating what he just said. Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the meeting goes into "overtime!". Trap - You're called on to pray while you're dozing. End Run - Getting out of church quick, before you have to speak to that long winded gossip. Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation to skip Sunday School. Sacked - Being asked to speak in Sacrament meeting before you can escape. Blitz - The rush for the parking lot following the closing prayer on Fast Sunday.