More surgery?

Well, folks, I should have posted this last night and am sorry I didn't. So here goes. I seem to be developing another stricture. This will make #7, I believe. I did not have the surgery because of weight and it is a bit of a story so if you are interested in reading about it, it is more or less on my profile page. I didn't expect to lose any weight and every one of my 94lbs that I have lost I am extremely grateful for. I actually delight in them. Well, last week, when I spoke with my GI doctor, he mentioned that my surgeon was going to try surgery again to remake my pouch. I don't want more surgery! Not yet! Ok, I won't balk at a tt but not to rebuild a pouch. That is basically doing the surgery over again. When my surgeon removed my stomach, there wasn't much to work with. So what is different now that they can make a new one or make it larger? Well, yesterday I called to tell them about not being able to eat, instead of speaking to the GI doc and getting another appt for an endoscopy, (per usual) they made an appt with my surgeon. Oh boy, I think I am beginning to panic! Then the head nurse called me back and asked me alot of questions and said she would talk to the surgeon. She then called back and said he definately wants to see me. Oh Man!!! I am already beginning to go through the fear of not living through the surgery. Life is getting good. I am enjoying things so much now. I came so close last time that I am really getting worried. Maybe downright frightened is the word. How cruel that would be, to give me a taste of what life can be and then take it away? I am a woman of great faith and do not believe that our Heavenly Father is cruel but I am still frightened. Before surgery, I just knew I wouldn't live through it. I had no other options at that point, however. What if my feelings were not so much for then but for this time. After all, I am still recovering from the first surgery. Please, again, pray for me and my family. My poor DH is so worried about me. He has alot of faith but has not had a good feeling about any of this from the get go and if there had been another way to go he would have insisted on it. Also, we have great faith in the doctor that did my first surgery. However, he has gotten out of the military and moved. So I have another surgeon. I am sure he is a great surgeon. I have heard nothing but good things from him but I don't know him. I know Dr. Goldberg. I know this is being silly. I really need to get ahold of myself. I feel as if I am losing control of my fears and emotions. I just want to run and hide, but that won't allow me to eat! To top it off, when I get a stricture I don't lose. Can't eat and don't lose! Where is the justice in that? Sorry this is so long. Take care all. Grins, Kaye Please pray for me. And if you are temple goers or live near one, please put my name in.

Dearest Sister Kaye..my heart truly goes out to you. Please know that Heavenly Father knows you and knows you are scared. He will be there for you. Please if you haven't already get a Priesthood blessing and really really listen to what is said. You'll find peace of heart. It is so hard for us mere mortals to know that Heavenly Father knows best. Put your trust in Him and know that whatever happens he is there with you and all will be as He would have it be for you. Sounds as if your sweet hubby is very worried for you and maybe he should consider asking for a Priesthood blessing as well to help him with his fears for you. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and I certainly wish the very best for you. Take care and keep the faith...I will also call the Dallas Temple and have your name put on the prayer roll. You will have a lot of people praying for you. God bless Alfie

Kaye, we had our surgeries within a week from each other. It's hard for me to imagine the problems you're going through. I feel very fortunate that I haven't had any strictures yet. I am soo sorry that you have gone through 7 of them. Alfie gave you some great wonderful advice. It sounds like your husband needs a priesthood prayer as much as you do. I really hope you take her advice and seek one for each of you. Since you're already basically fasting, add some prayer to it over the matter. Heavenly Father will lead you to the best decision on what to do. Like Alfie said, Heavenly Father knows you and has a plan for you, we just have to have faith that what will be, will be and accept it. If it is in his plan to take you, know that you will be going to a wonderful place. Free of pain, sorrow and problems. It's our earthly emotions that make us afraid. I know it's hard to leave our loved ones behind but Heavenly Father will take care of them. He also knows and loves them. When you are through this challenge, think about how much stronger you will be. I've always said that I HATE the tests and challenges but they are neccessary for us to grow. Think of all the wonderful insight and advice you will have to give others who are going through similar situations. Hang in there Kaye. I'll add you and your family to my prayers. Love, Melody