Hello and Question

Hello All - My name is Kristi, and I live in Orange County, CA. I am married with one daughter. Always thought I would have more, but no such luck. Although I am in the YW presidency in our ward, so I guess I have 11 more! My weight has been an issue for some time now, went through a bad divorce from my first husband and went inactive for sometime. I have been back, strong and active for about 5 years now. But still struggling with my weight. I was actually approved for RNY surgery about one year ago, but because of some other health issues I was having, I had to opt out. About the same time I had two friends have the RNY surgery. One suffered tremendous blood loss, and just now a year later is starting to feel "human" again, and the other, major complications, and had to go back in for surgery 3 months afterwards. So as you can see I am a bit hesitant about the RNY. I am reviewing the LAP BAND at this time, and would like to know your experience with it, if any? In addition, did you get support, or even share your surgeries with your ward?

Hi Kristi! Welcome to the message board! I had an RNY so I can't answer your question about the band but I can answer your other question. I told my close friends and Bishop before I went into surgery but it was never a secret so it got out pretty quickly. I was afraid of the wards reaction but EVERYONE has been great about it. Everyone is so excited for me and I have to give my "weight update" several times every Sunday. It's a lot of fun and I haven't had any negative reaction. Good luck with your decision and talk to us if you have any more question! Hydi

Had RNY here so I don' know about the Lap Band. As for the telling people. There was not many people who didn't know. My ward was very supportive. My dh and I had our surgeries 3 weeks apart...I don't reccomend that. But that is besides the point. We had a ton of support. I didnt' get a blessing before I went to the hospital. After surgery I asked my husband to call someone from the Madison Ward we lived in when we lived there. We were in numerous different wards. I know that anyone would have came. But I asked him to call Bishop Ostrowsky -- he is no longer the bishop but to me he will forever be Bishop O. He married us, worked threw alot of things with us and I love the man and his wife dearly. When James called he said he would be right there. Then he called back few moments later and said "I can't come w/o my wife she would be very upset. We will be there in few hours." So we said that was fine. Then 1 hr later he was there. He called his wife at work and they came right up. They stayed for quite awhile that evening until I couldn't take the noise any longer. They were so excited for both of us. Asked us to make sure we keep in touch and we send them pics and all this other stuff.... Everyone is different and I am sure that some reactions are not positive...but I live my life with this is my choice...not yours. I know others who have told NO ONE. Not even their own children living under their roof. She just told them she had to go to the hospital for few days for surgery. But didnt' tell them why. Her family has no idea who she has lost 100 lbs. She went to see them las tmonth they live an hour away....they were amazed at how "thin" she was.... Its all about personal choice... Good luck w/your choice. Gala

I also had RNY, as had 3 other people in my ward so its been a very positive thing for me - sorry I cant tell you a thing about the bandsters. -Sherrie

Welcome Kristi. Come often and get to know us and let us get to know you. I had my surgery lap RNY so I don't have any experience with the lap band. As you know from your friends, this isn't an easy surgery. Read some of the posts on this site and see what kind of complications others are having. I've been fortunate, I've had NO complications. Everything has gone textbook perfect (knock on wood). There are NO guarantees. This is only a decision YOU can make through a lot of prayer and meditation about it. I've been very open with people in my ward about my surgery. I've received a HUGE amount of support. It definately helps to get a priesthood blessing before you go in. The priesthood is there to help us and we need to use it. Good luck Kristi. Come back often and ask any question you want. We may not know the answer but we can certainly chat. Melody

Dear Kristi, Welcome! We are trying to up the participation on this forum and hope you will join us often. I had RNY so can't help much with the lap band. They won't do it here. There is a fellow , in our ward, who had it and has done well but can't lose after a few months. My complications have really been tough but they are not due to the RNY part of my surgery. I had to have a gastrectomy, due to excessive scar tissue, and there was not enough left to make a proper size pouch. So my problems with strictures are really not due to the RNY part of my surgery. The RNY is doing well. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I am doing things I haven't done in decades. Most people in my ward know about the surgery and have been very supportive. Everybody has to do what they are most comfortable with. Good luck with your decisions. Prayer helps a lot. Take care and please join us often. Grins, Kaye

Hi Kristy and everyone else. I am new to this group and am also looking into the surgery. I am hoping to start chatting with you all on this site. I also have the question of reactions from your wards... This is something I am really worried about. I have all of the feelings of failure going on and am really worried about "what people think". I know it is dumb, what do they think now? Will they think I am a cop out??? Another lady in our ward had it right before she moved into our ward, so no one really was too aware of her surgery. Anyway, I have read lots of the posts from you guys and am ready to be a part of this group. I'll look forward to posting again. Take care, Billie

Billie, Welcome!!! There wasn't a problem for me. However, you know your ward. There isn't really any reason that you would have to tell anyone what you are having done. A simple "GI problems", would be a sufficient answer. Before I had mine, I just told my family that I was having abdominal surgery and talking about it made me more nervous about everything. Take care and come back daily or as often as you can. Grins, Kaye

I told anyone who would stand still long enough to get the sentence out of my mouth....haha....but I'm very open and talkative on a normal day. Part of why I tell everyone is because I want to share information, and teach others what I've learned, and help them understand this is an option for morbidly obese (MO) people. As for the band....I am rny , but my dear pal had a band the same day I did. She doesn't have much weight to lose, as I have 150 to lose.....but she lost 37 lbs very quickly, then it slowed, so she went in and had the band inflated and began to lose again. She is very pleased with it. BUT she didn't have alot of weight to get off....she is doing it more to control her diabites. As for your friends with complications.....I think the more you lurk and read, you will find HUNDREDS of people without any complications at all, and even those that do have them, most are still very pleased with their decision and results. Some aren't. But I honestly believe the greater percentage are pleased with it. I haven't had any problems other than those I create by overeating, or eating too fast, or that sort of thing. Research your doctor, find a good support group....and keep looking until you get one you are comfortable in. Make a buddy here and it will make all the difference. And if you decide NOT to proceed with the surgery, you are still very welcome to lurk and post here. There are many members of this site who are not post-op, and they still have alot of experience with being MO and it's ramifications. I see people apologize for deciding not to have surgery...and I wonder why they apologize.....because it's such a personal decision. I'm almost 3 months out and I've lost 53 lbs.......and I'm thrilled. I'm not a fast loser, but it's the best I've ever done in my life for weight loss. I feel so much better, my knees don't hurt, my clothes aren't squeezing my waist to death, and I was recently told, "You are so happy lately;..." and I know it's because I don't hurt anymore. Best to you. Tracey

HERE, HERE!!! Very well said, Tracey!!! Grins, Kaye