Do you compare yourself??

I read alot on the main post, and take if for what it's worth....but do you ever find yourself comparing your losses to others in the same surgical time frame as you? I do...and I find it can really hinder me by doing this. I am considered a slow loser by some I suppose....I've lost 54 lbs. in 3 months. I am the slowest in my support group. I get discouraged, start to feel like a failure, maybe make poor food choices....why not, since I'm a failure anyway.....but then I stop, pull my thoughts back and think...."No, you are doing GREAT for Tracey......Tracey never lost this much weight no matter what she did, and Tracey never felt so sure of a weight loss solution as she does now..." (ok, end self chat) I have really quit focusing on the scale.....and just enjoy my decrease in pain, and the new clothes I can wear. I try to reach out and give support to others who may be discouraged, give my experiences to those sitting on the fence of whether this is right for them or not......and it has really helped me better enjoy this entire WLS experience. I can relate this to the gospel in a fashion....that when I start to compare myself to other sisters who are more righteous (I assume) or not (again, my assumptions) I get discouraged or proud.....either way is not good. I honesty have no idea where they are on their path back to Heavenly Father....nor is it my business....but rather, I need to support them, and reach out and in doing so, I won't be so self righteous and judgemental or perhaps belittling my progress because I am assuming they are perfect. I don't know their struggles, their dreams, their trials....I just see the face they show at church. Does this make sence? I find that if I honestly stop comparing myself to others, I am less self critical, less judgmental, and I am happier in life. If I reach out to others, serve others, do for others, I actually end up with more time and peace in my life than if I sit and watch tv all evening. Anyway, those are my thoughts this evening.... Tracey

Hi Tracey Yes I do all of the those things!! I really needed your post today thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am 4 1/2 months out and have lost 55lbs and feel like you said like I'm failing when I compare myself to others. But again like you if I hadn't had this surgery...man I would hate to think where I would be. I had started gaining weight again prior to my surgery and I wasn't eating differently my body just decided it was going to start storing up fat again so I have to keep reminding myself that no matter how long this takes I am soooo much better than I was. I can put my pantyhose on now with out breaking into a sweat. I can walk three miles and feel invigorated instead of walking accross the parking lot and feeling like I was gonna die because I was out of breath. I can do so many more things. I don't have to have a seatbelt extender when I fly..that was so embarrasing to me to ask for that. Your comparrison to the Gospel was right on to. Its so easy for us to judge others and I try so hard not to do that. I can see a difference in how I feel about myself too. I am greatful and proud of the weight I've lost and also what I have been learning about better nutrition and excercise. Putting all of this into practice is difficult at times but the results are sure worth it. Have a great day. Alfie

Tracey, I do the same thing. Of course, I try not to but sometimes I just dwell on it. I think it's because so much of life is competitive that it's hard to separate. You're exactly right with the gospel comparison! That's a great spiritual thought for meetings. Thanks for sharing it with us. Love, Hydi

Yes I certainly do compare myself to others. I think that's human nature. With the Olympics just over, I think about the ones running in a race, they're all going at their own pace but they compare themselves to the other racers so they know how they are doing. This is NOT the Olympics and this is NOT a race. The racer who came in last still ran the race. They still finished the race and they did the best they could do. They were actually IN the Olympics. I had this surgery. I may not be the faster looser and I may not be the best looser BUT I AM A LOOSER. I'm running my own race at my own pace. At about 4 months post op I stopped comparing myself to others. I'm much more content to do it at my own pace (whatever that may be). I'm just approaching 6 months and I've lost 76 pounds. I'm thrilled especially since it's starting to show. Others are starting to notice for the first time. I'll be a slow looser with you. Let's just keep on loosing. Melody

Dear Tracey, I really enjoyed your post and the thought processes that went into it. I judge too much, and in doing so I have convinced myself that others judge me. (I probably just think it cause I am always looking at others.) That may not make sense, but I did get something out of what you said! Thanks. Billie