Greetings :-)

Dear Friends, Yes, I am a lurker here. However I do enjoy posting. I have been very busy the last couple of weeks. I presently live in Kalispell Montana and have lived here for 1 yr. We moved from Sacramento Cal where we lived for 10 yrs. I was born in Pocatello Idaho and lived there until I was 28 when I got married to a wonderful man in the Idaho Falls temple. I am a Dental Asst, and my husband is a Mortician. We have 2 children a girl and a boy who are both in High School. I served a LDS mission to Detroit Michigan and my husband served in St. Louis and Nauvoo. I am writing to ask a few favors from you good members. I am presently in Pocatello Idaho with my parents,, my father is very ill and has Kidney diease and heart diease. They have given him 2 months to 2 yrs to live. He is presently on dyalsis 3 times a week and he is so exhausted from it. He can barley walk and uses a walker. He is struggling for every breath he takes. This is very hard to watch as a sibling and my heart aches for him and for my mother. They are both in their 70's and it breaks my heart to see him so ill. I would like to ask each of you to pray for my father ask Heavenly Father to bless him with the strength needed for every day that he is alive. I am learning I think for the 1st time in my life what it truly means thy will be done. Its hard to allow this to happen to a parent when you want so badly for them to live longer. I dont want him to suffer and I feel guilty asking Heavenly Father to take him quickly if its his time to go and to not suffer. I worry about my mother as well as she is having tolearn everything about the house, the will, the bills, ect... my father has always taken care of the bills and things in the home. I feel so bad for my mother as she is dealing with alot of new stress and a new illness when it comes to my father. We take my father to dyalsis monday wednesday and fridays and it difficult to take him there with all the other patients and being hooked uo to a machine to cleanse the blood, but dont get me wrong I am eternally grateful for the blessings of modern medicine and all that can be done with it. Its hard watching a parent go thru this and to see the pain in their face and eyes. now I know how my parents felt when I got hurt as a child. I beleive that my life has come to a full circle. My father has requested that my husband do his funeral arrangements and preparations when the time comes and I am wondering how he will handle this great task. I have to appreciate my parents each and everyday as I am with them and yes there is a selfish side of me that wants to stay in Pocatello until he dies, but I am full aware of my responsability as a wife and mother to my family back in Kalispell Mt. Is this wrong of me to want to stay with my parents? I have been away from them for the last 17 yrs of my life. I feel so torn right now. The scripture keeps coming into my mind there is a time and a season for all things.... I am trying to decide what I am being told, and not what my own desires and wishes are. HAs anyone of you out there been thru this type of experience? I would appreciate your responses. Well enough said for now everyone have a great day and weekend. Thanks for taking the time to read this and for responding. Kathy

I have not even came close to being in your shoes and I can't begin to imagine the pain you must be going threw. The only way I can relate is the pain and sorrow that we have/are/will go threw as the time nears to our parental rights being severed from our adopted 10 yr old. I truelly feel like this is equivalent to death. But in a different realm of grief. Regardless your family will be in our prayers!! You are not selfish for taking the time to be with your mom and dad. They need you!!! Period. Love, Gala

Kathy, My heart goes out to you. Bless your Father's life by being there and loving him. It might be wise to tell him that you can and will let him go when his "time" comes. I say that because my Mom refused to accept that her mom's time had come and she suffered miserably for several weeks till my mom could let go. Also my 44 year old wife was very sick and told me she could not go on and i gave her a blessing releasing her to go on and she did in less than 12 hours. I will keep you on my thoughts and prayers. Gordon

Dear Sister Kathy My heart goes out to you and your family. When my Father passed away my Mom also had to learn how to deal with everything and she amazed us all with her determination. Your Mom will struggle and then she will grow just as mine did. I think your family will understand your need to be with your parents right now. My sweet husband was the first one helping me out the door when my Mom became very ill. Also please get a priesthood blessing for yourself as well. You are under a lot of stress that you may not even realize at this time. Heavenly Father will be there for you and your family. My Mom asked that my husband give her eulogy and he did the most beautiful job. Everyone even a catholic priest that was there commented on the spirit that was there. Your husband will do a great job for your Dad because he cares. It was very very hard for my sweetie to do what he did but he told me I know I can do it because your Mom thinks I can. I wish I had great words of wisdom for you Kathy but please know that we will be remembering you and your family in our prayers. Take care and keep us posted on how things are going. Alfie

Hey Kathy, I'm very sorry for you. I have a friend who's going through something almost identical. Her parents now live with her and she seems better now. I know it was very hard for her. I'll be thinking of you and praying. Love, Hydi

Greetings Kathy. I am your neighbor for the time being. I live in Shoshone which is between Twin Falls and Sun Valley. Our local news as well as your local newspaper announced that a golf course in Twin Falls was bought by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints. Why would the church buy a golf course? For a future Temple of course! NO announcements have been made, just speculated. So today I did what had to be done - drove by the golf course to see where the site was. WONDERFUL location. We (our Stake) has been trying to flood the temple with attendance so we would have a chance at getting a temple in Twin Falls. Things are looking positive in that area. Back to your post. I am so sorry to hear the reason we are neighbors at the moment. It's hard to watch a family member go through these trials. I think you mother needs a priesthood blessing as well as yourself. I would also like to give you a little advice. While your father is able, take a tape recorder and record his voice. Have him tell a story or relate a memory or something. That recording will become precious when he leaves this earthly sphere. Your father is going to a wonderful place. Your mother will be blessed with the strength to do the things she needs to do to go on. This is a challenge (test from Heavenly Father) for your mother as well. Heavenly Father won't leave her all alone. She doesn't have to like this testing period but she does need to go through it. I will add your family's name to my prayers. You are loved Kathy. Melody

Kathy, I am so sorry you are going through this. I lost my mom 3 years ago. I am still grieving. I never got to say goodbye to her and was very angry at her for not waiting till I got there. I put my grandchildren first and realize I should have done things differently. So I am still angry at myself for that. Do what you have to do. What you feel you have to do. I am sure your family can take care of things while you take care of your parents. Then again only you know your family. Please take care of yourself through all this. And when the time comes and your father passes over, be sure and let your husband nurture you through it. It is not easy but alot of growth can come of it. Please, keep us informed of how things are. Btw, when were you in the Detroit area. I was married there, to my first husband. I was born and raised in Westland and we were, at that time, in the Dearborn ward, I believe. It has been a long time. I was married in the building on or near Outer Drive. Take care of yourself. Grins, Kaye