issues- need opinions/advise

hello! i am a young (24) member (inactive) and am about to recieve my surg. date. and have a few issues i just cant shake 1.) i am extremly nervous and am afraid of death. i was hoping someone with the same religious views could shed some light on that fear for me. 24 just seems like such a young age to end this journey on earth. 2.)also i was taught in my home that our bodies were temples and that they are they way God intended (so no ear peirceings, tatoos ect.) which makes me wonder if this surgery is something that goes against our own bodies? (does that make sense?) i know that there are other surgeries which are nessisary and they dont seem so severe to me in this aspect because i am not dying. other than the wieght i am pretty healthy, no comorbidities or anything... so is this something i should be doing to my body? i know that ultimatly i will make my own choices, but i am just looking for feedback from people who share my beliefs... and i have no other place to go. *very* few people know of my surgery

First of all I want to commend you for coming to the LDS forum. This is the first step into many in a healthier life. As far as your first question. I went threw a spurt of "what happens if I die. I have 3 young children..ect ect ect". Then I would put it into another perspective "At 305 lbs, 30 yrs old. No 'real' significant health problems YET...I'm on my way to killing myself regardless. So I can have surgery. Have faith in my surgeon and those around me that all will work out. Have faith in myself that when my time is come to return back home to my HF - then it will come. There is NOTHING I can do about it. So my rationale was if I don't have surgery I'm just going to die a slower miserable death. Instead of giving myself the chance at a healthier life to spend w/my babies. NOW...You said you don't have any co-morbids. GREAT. Count your blessings!! And that is a HUGE one. If your surgeon has a good track record in all of his/her areas expertise you should have NOTHING to worry about. The healthier you are going into surgery the better your chances are for a quick, fast recovery!!! Remember that!! As for your 2nd question. I'm not sure how to answer that. Yes, our bodies are like temples. They should be left the way our HF intended. And no surgery doesn't go against what our bodies are made for. This surgery wouldn't have been made possible and have such huge success rates if it wasn't "good" for people. Your body is on its way to having many of the co-morbids that others have. I was lucky I didn't have to many co-morbids. However, last November when I was dx with a heart condition that was directly related to my health. Guess what....I jumped on the band wagon and made my first appt. I had "thought" about having surgery. But at that point when my PCP said to me "Gala, have you ever heard of Gastric Bypass" I interruppted him and said "Kent, what do you think of Dr. Sunby? I know he does RNY and I think very highly of him". This was the answer to my prayers. My dr. who is also my age telling me "Gala, you have got to get the weight off and it has got to be permanent. No diet will do that for you...." If you can do it now do it...while you are healthy. While you don't have the other health risks involved!! Best of luck in your choice. And remember.....you can ALWAYS call your bishop/branch president and ask for a blessing. Plain and simple. No questions asked. Merry Christmas. Gala

Gala gave you some very wise advise. Let me offer my two cents for whatever they are worth. You say you are an inactive member of the church but you seem to have held to the church ideals. Pray about this decision and if you can, fast about this decision. I prayed and fasted about the decision to have this surgery and received a very firm and postitive answer that for me this surgery was the right thing to do. I'm 44 years old and have been fat my whole life. I've been seeing my PCP about my weight for years. Fen Phen worked wonders but when I stopped it the weight came back on. I've worked through many other diets, all of which were successfull on a temporary basis. The weight always came back on and I always gained even more weight then when I started the diet. My PCP finally told me that he was no longer going to subscribe anything for me because the yo-yo dieting was worse for my health than being fat. I asked my PCP about gastric by-pass surgery and he whole heartedly endorsed it for me. I sought a second opinion through my neurologist (I have MS) and my nerologist said he didn't advise having gastric by-pass surgery for very many people but this was my only option and he endorsed it fully. He said that gastric by-pass surgery was my only option to lose the weight on a more permanent basis. Yes, our bodies are our temples but I was a food addict. I was abusing my body with food. Since I've had my surgery my whole thought process has changed. I used to live to eat. Now I eat to live. A flip-flop of how I lived my life pre-surgery. I'm healthier now, I can now keep the word of wisdom more fully (moderation in all we do). I felt that being obese was breaking the word of wisdom in one of the worst sense. You may not have any co-morbidities now but they are coming. When our bodies carry around that much extra weight we are doing damage we don't even know about until it's almost too late to reverse or much harder to reverse. Pray about this decision. Yes death can occur. Death usually occurs when there are other co-morbity problems. Rarely does death occur when someone is healthy. If you are truely worried about death than work to get your life in order and be prepared to meet your maker. Death isn't that bad. It reminds me of something Ryan White's mother told him years ago (Ryan White was the young man who was a hemophylliac). His mother told him that when he was in the womb before he was born he was so comfortable there. He didn't want to leave that space where he was so comfortable and warm to go someplace unknown. When he was finally born and saw that there was light and things weren't just dark all the time. He saw that there was room and there was color and he could move around. If someone had asked him if he wanted to go back into his mother's womb and stay there after experiencing life he wouldn't want to go back to that dark cramped space. Death is like that. We're afraid of the unknown. Just like a baby is afraid of leaving their comfort zone for that scary place called life, we're afraid to leave our comfort space in the place we call earth to go to an unknown place called heaven. But when we get there and see how wonderful it is we'll wonder why we never wanted to go and we wouldn't want to go back to that place we called earth. My surgery was 9 months ago. It's the best thing I've ever done. I've lost 105 pounds so far and hope to lose another 25-30 pounds. Come back often. We're here to help you if you would like. Melody

I too will offer some words of encouragment. This surgery is and was my last result. I have cerebral palsy and I was at 300#. I couldn't walk and my life was not good. I was depressed and not sleeping. My pcp was relcutant but she signed off on it. I am six months post-op and I am doing so much better. My self esteem has done a complete 360 and I never felt better. My dh and my kids like me better this way. Come to think of it, I like me better this way. I know that support of family and those in my ward has been very helpful and the priesthood blessings that I have recieved have been so wonderful and good. My bishop was my confidant the Relief Society was there to support me in my quest to get healthy. I am walking so much better now. You will need a support system when you get home from the hospital. I would encourage you to tell those close to you and gain their support. It is so important to have that in place. And of course, we here will be there to support you and lift you up. I won't tell you that this is easy, but it is so worth it when you put in the scheme of things. I feared dying before I could see my kids married and have children of their own. I was not going to leave my children this soon. And I was afraid of proving my father right by dying before him. I decided that my life was more important that anything. Pray to your Father in Heaven to know just the thing to do. He will guide you in your quest. You are in my prayers. Donna

Fear is a normal reaction to going into any surgery. I know I was frightened even in the surgery prep room. Had a good ole Southern Baptist Doc that Prayed for me and his ablilty to let God guide him, this helped and all went well. My body is a temple also, but is it disrespecting my temple to be so fat that in essence you are slowly committing suicide. The Word of Wisdom tells us to eat in moderation and be healthy. I was so unable to obey that commandment without intervention. I look at it as an opportunity to be in control of my life, my destiny. It is like any other decision we have to make, study it out in our minds and pray for confirmation of the will of God. Gordon