OT - You might be a Mormon if . . .
This is to all of you that may be a Mormon, that may
know a Mormon, that may live in Utah, that may have
lived in Utah or have heard about Mormons....
You might be a Mormon if...
all your dishes have your name written on them with masking tape.
You might be a Mormon if... you postdate your checks while shopping on Sunday.
You might be a Mormon if...you believe Heck is the place for people who do
not believe in gosh.
You might be a Mormon if...your Mom was pregnant at your sister's wedding
reception.
You might be a Mormon if...
you pray that your food might "nourish and strengthen your body" before
eating doughnuts.
You might be a Mormon if...
you think Jell-O is one of the basic food groups.
You might be a Mormon if...
at least one of your salad bowls is at a neighbor's house.
You might be a Mormon if...
you've ever written a "Dear-John" to more than two missionaries on the same
day.
You might be a Mormon if...
you were frustrated when your son "only" got accepted to Harvard.
You might be a Mormon if...
you have one kid in diapers and one on a mission.
You might be a Mormon if...
you have never arrived at a meeting on time.
You might be a Mormon if...
you have more wheat stored in your basement than most
third world countries.
You might be a Mormon if...
you've already got your order in for volume 50 of
"The Work and The Glory."
You might be a Mormon if...
you think it is all right to watch football on Sundays as long as a direct
descendant of Brigham Young is playing.
You might be Mormon if...
you have to guess more than five times the name of the
child you're disciplining.
You might be Mormon if...you automatically assume that BYOB means, Bring Your
Own Burgers!!
You might be a Mormon if...you go to a party and someone spikes the punch
with Pepsi.
You might be a Mormon if...
you arrive to an activity an hour late and are the first person there.

