Sorry it's so long--The decision to have WLS...

I have posted several times here, but never really about my WLS stuff, just about Church stuff. So I would now like to talk just a bit about my WLS stuff. I am still Pre-Op. As you can see, I am due in on the 4th of Feb. The decision to have this surgery was a very difficult one for me. Partly because I kept leaving out the most important person--Heavenly Father. I think I had talked to just about anyone that would listen, but hadn't knelt down to pray about it. I sat down with a good friend one day and asked her to listen, respond, play devil's advocate, etc. I think my biggest fear was that Heavenly Father wouldn't approve of doing this. Like I was trying to cheat or something. I have struggled with depression my whole life, and when younger I even had suicidal thoughts. Now, I am so afraid of doing anything that might cause me to die, for fear that it might be misconstrued as suicide. So this was a big problem with me having WLS. If I was to voluntarily go in for this surgery that (I thought) had a death risk of 1 in every 100, then if I died, was that like committing suicide? Because I didn't have to have that surgery. Then I thought, Well, if I don't have the surgery I will die from being overweight. So I am still killing myself--only more slowly. I even brought this up at an appropriate time during a RS lesson one Sunday and got amazing responses. I realized that it was what was in my heart. I was not wanting the surgery for vanity issues, but for health reasons. I have PCOS and can't get pregnant. How can I grow the kingdom of Heaven if I can't have a baby? I then had an Aha moment and thought, DUH, pray. If I am so concerned about how Heavenly Father is going to think of me if I have the surgery, why don't I just ask Him?!! I can't believe I hadn't thought of it before. Well, I have prayed about it, and obviously I have felt like this is the right thing for me. Everyone from my husband to my extended family was against me having this surgery at first, but now they are all there to support me and I think some are actually as excited as I am and are even considering this surgery for themselves. He really knows the true intent of our hearts and can help us to know what the right thing is. He will prepare the we should go. I believe this with all my heart. He has made it possible for me and possible for my family to support me. I am so glad that I found this forum of other LDS WLS people. Let me know if you had similar thoughts/feelings. I don't want others to not get the surgery because they don't think it would be the "Mormon" thing to do. Happy Sabbath everyone!! Bren

I think that if that is what you needed to do to help you decide to have the surgery then you did the right thing. I did not pray about the decision, myself. I have known for many years it was what I wanted. It just took a while with all the insurance issues, etc. I pray daily about many things in my life, but never prayed about the decision to have surgery. I did pray about the outcome, that I would have no complications. My home teachers gave me and blessing and annointed me the night before my surgery. I have had no complications. I don't know if that is a direct result of the blessing and annointing, but it couldnt hurt, right? I mean, I had faith that I would be ok, but to be honest, before I had the surgery, I did have moments when I thought, " I could die on the table." my thoughts, ~kim

Bren I prayed long and hard many times before I made the decision to have this surgery. Each time I received a peaceful feeling that my Heavenly Father approved of what I was going to do. Your thoughts of suicide concern me a bit. One of the pre-surgery tests is with a psycologist. That would be the time to express you suicidal thoughts with them. That can be enough to NOT make you a candidate for this surgery. Thoughts of suicide are terrible and very serious. Having this surgery may lead these thoughts to excalate. Please pray about this and be very careful. Good luck Bren, you can ask us anything. You may not like the answer but you can always get our opinion. Melody