OT - need advice please!!!!

I really need advice on how to handle something - I am ready to surrender my daughter to strangers - does anyone know of a school or boot camp for troubled teens? My daughter is skipping school, flunking all of her classes, has a reputation as a boyfriend stealer even though she is not old enough to date yet (15), walking out of classes in the middle of class, back talking and sassing all adults, wearing a dog collar and leash to school, she cut off her hair and died it bright red (without my knowledge!) getting into fight****ting a boy all the way down 2 hallways of school, etc. - any suggestions, I dont know what to do with her!! -Sherrie

Sherrie - I'm so sorry that your daughter is giving you such challenges. I was lucky, none of my children have given me any problems - yet (knock on wood). There is a wilderness bootcamp type school in our area. Idaho is a long way from Texas but I know they take troubled teens from all over the United States. We're a real rual desert area and the kids absolutely hate living off the land without any luxuries. I think that any kind of teen boot camp is a bit on the pricey side but sometimes we do what we need to do to save our child's life. E-mail me if you're interested in learning more about the program here in Idaho. Melody

My son started acting up at thirteen. Flunking classes, skipping classes, giving his Young Mens leaders all kinds of grief. He started wearing black, stopped bathing. Became real mouthy to all adults especially his family. Wanted nothing to do with his family. Refused to do chores. I took him to a pyschotherapist who said my son was on the road to drugs and alcohol. He wanted us to put him in his adolescent program which consisted of an ankle moniter and very strict rules. We didn't have the money at the time and our insurance wouldn't cover it. Well, about a year later we discovered he was into drugs and alcohol. My husband and I were actually the ones who turned him into the police when we found the drugs and when we caught him drunk or high. He is now in the court system and it is working very well. We have a lot of therapy to attend and there are very strict rules. He tried to buck the rules at first but found out very quickly that the state bucks back even harder. He spent some time in Juvenile Detention. Now he is on the Honor Roll at school, he is respecting rules at home, we are all gettin along very well. I am quite pleased with how things have turned out. If I were you I'd be doing some serious snooping in her bedroom. I'd read her notes and letters, check all the pockets of her pants and jackets, look for things like bottles of air freshener such as Lysol (used to rid the air of the smell of marijuana), eye drops (marijuana use causes red eyes). One thing to look for. When a person smokes pot their tongue turns green. If you find anything illegal I'd go straight to the cops with it. You can order drug test off the Internet for pretty cheap. I'd do some random drug testing on her. Basically, you've got to get serious control here. If you have to go to school with her and attend all her classes to make sure she goes to school, fine, do it. You could always show up at her school, remove her dog collar and leash, take it with you and drop it in a dumpster somewhere. As a parent you have a right to take your childs things and get rid of them or sell them, even if the child had paid for them with their own money, if you don't approve of what they've bought, you can take it and get rid of it. You have that right. As far as her class attendance, you're going to need to get her teachers cooperation on this. If they won't cooperate, go to the principal, if the principal won't cooperate, go to the school district, if they won't cooperate, go to the governor, go all the way to the White House if you have to. These people have a responsibility to work with parents. But seriously, if you went to school with her just once and went to all her classes with her and if you made it clear that if she sluffed school she would have to go to school with you, she'd go to school. It might help if you went to school with her in your bathrobe and slippers. Seriously, good luck. We have to get tough and take control of these kids. These are the Last Days and there is too much to lose if we don't rise to to challenge. Lynda D.

Thank you for your reply! I have decided to have my daughter put in an alternative school for kids who are acting out - its a free program run by the state. She is really mad, but thats too bad. I work teaching at a jail and found out about this resource through their anti-recitivism programs. My daughter thinks I am treating her like a common criminal, but after finding her shoplifiting, smoking, and drinking, I told her she is a common criminal and would rather be in the mom system then the jail system. Glad to hear all turned out so well with your son - it gives me hope! -Sherrie