More on the nephew saga

My nephew went to court today with his lawyer to accept the plea agreement of one count of aggrevated battery and one count of Lewd and Lascivious conduct. This hearing was supposed to be just that. Accept the plea and schedule sentencing or reject the plea and schedule trial. The prosecuting attorney told me previous to this that this was just a formality and wouldn't be necessary for me to be in attendance. The prosecutor called me this afternoon to apologize. He said that what should have been a simple formality turned into a little more than planned on. The judge plain and simply asked the boy "Did you do "A" "B" "C" etc...?" The boy answered "yah". This surprised the prosecutor, he didn't know the judge was going to ask the boy to plead guilty or not guilty. He thought it was just to accept the plea agreement. The boy DID plead guilty to what he was charged with. At the sentencing he will be required to give a full disclosure of what he actually did to my daughters. I really, really appreciate all who have responded to my plea for advice. It has helped a lot and I'm sorry I didn't respond to each of you individually. Some random thoughts here. One is that although I have forgiven this boy, he has NEVER uttered an apology. I think he's sorry he got caught, not sorry for his actions. The prosecuting attorney told me that this boy was really uncomfortable admitting his guilt. I truely believe this is the first time in his life that he has had to be accountable for his actions. In his entire life, he's lied his way out of things and his mother has coddled him so much and made excuses for him that he has NEVER had to account for his behavior. This is the first time. I think this is a good thing. He NEEDS to account for his actions (whatever that action happens to be - usually just mischief) to become the kind of person that people want to be around. I'm working on the impact statement now. I want to show love for this boy as well as show him how his actions have hurt everyone. I pray for him regularly that he will learn to take responsibility for all his actions. Thank you again for all your response. - Melody

Melody, you are an amazing woman of incredible strength. Thanks for being an example of someone who is striving to respond to a terrible thing the way that Christ would. Keep doing the things that you are doing, taking care of your daughters, and yourself. May the Lord continue to bless you with peace the peace to cope with this trial. Hugs... Allison

I think that it is sad when the courts have to teach the meaning of responsibility when we as parents don't teach it. Accountability is a lost value when it comes to our children and we wonder why there is so much trouble with our youth today. I applaud your willingness to forgive and to show love to this boy. I know from experience that this is so hard to do but the Lord requires if of all of us. I was humbled that your nephew did plead guilty and stand up and accept the responsibility for what he did. This means that there is still hope for him in the future. He will have to register as a sex offender and have that over his head for the rest of his life, but at least he is able to salvage his life and repent. Give the girls a hug for me and know that you are in my prayers always. Donna

Wow, this has been a long ordeal for you and your daughters. I think besides forgiving the boy, you may consider it for his mother too. It will be easier for him to come around to true pentence now that he has admitted guilt. His pride has kept him from admitting it all this time, but now that he has, he will be more easily humbled and as he thinks about it, you may get an apology in the future. Christy