Very discouraged wanting to just give up

Hello everyone its been a couple of months since I have written. As some of you know I have been re-baptised and have been waiting to hear from the General Authorties regarding the re-enstatment of my Temple blessings. I am going on 5 months now since we sent my paper work in regarding this. I havent heard a word from them. During the past 5 months of my life I have had more trials as a mother than ever before. My daughter is is 17 has been using cigeretts and marijunia for about 3 months now. I discovered it in her purse. I was tottaly crushed as was her father. I called the police and they came to our home and arrested my daughter. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done as a mom. I watched as they hand-cuffed my daughter and put her into the police car. I wept as I went back into the house. The following week my daughter skipped an assembly and was caught and was suspended for 3 days from school. Then she went to court and was charged with underaged cigeretts possesion and was charged 145 dollars which she paid herself. Then we found out that she has sexually active with her boyfriend. We have talked her about this and everything else but it just isnt getting through. Then yesterday she got into a fight at school with a girl and she was suspended for 5 days this time. I dont mean to sound like this is a pitty party but I dont know how much more I can handle right now. I feel like a complete failure as a mother and also as a teacher in the gospel. I know that I havent been the best example but we have taught her the correct principles of the gospel. I would like to ask each of you a favor if you could remember her in your fast this Sunday and ask that her heart be soften and to realize the path that she is heading down is wrong I would be so greatful. I love my family so much and can't wait for the day to receive my temple blessings again. If any of you have any advice for me I would really appreciate it as I feel so discourage at this time of my life. I am not sleeping well because I am listening to hear if she is going to sneak out or something like that. We have asked her to go visit with the bishop but she said no. She doesnt feel it is necessary to go to him. I dont know what to say to her anymore without her exploding at me. I am so worried. Please pray for her. Thanks Kathy

Kathy, my heart aches for you. I know you want your temple blessings reinstated again and Satan is testing you to the fullest. In contemplating what kind of advice to give you, I turned to the scriptures, the scriptures are full of statements and examples that nothing happens until after a "trial of the your faith" "Ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith, Ether 12: 6." D&C 105: 19 19. I have heard their prayers, and will accept their offering; and it is expedient in me that they should be brought thus far for a trial of their faith. Alma 1: 25 25. Now this was a great trial to those that did stand fast in the faith; nevertheless, they were steadfast and immovable in keeping the commandments of God, and they bore with patience the persecution which was heaped upon them. This is just the tip of the iceburg in the scriptures where it talks about trials and having faith. I guess the advice I'm giving you is to stay firm in your testimony of our Lord Jesus Christ and the gospel. This is a trial of your faith. Don't give up. Keep being the best person you can be. I'll remember your family in my prayers. Like Donna likes to say ETTE (Endure to the End), Melody

Dear Kathy, I have been having a rough time lately and not been able to check out this board in some time. Amazing that I did today. (It is also the first time in days that my computer is working.) I have so been where you are today! Been there, done that and Heavenly Father brought me out on top!!! I was inactive for a long time and had not been to the temple but when I started back to church and my testimony began to grow enough to go to the temple, all hades broke loose. The only good thing that happened was I met my present husband and was finally able to attend the temple. Let me intersperse here that Proverbs 22:6 reads "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it!" I have searched it many times and it does not say anything about the teenage years. NOTHING. My daughter got on drugs, ran away numerous times, got pregnant etc. We had her in drug rehab 2 times. One time there were some VERY nasty people after her and we had to send her to a safe place for awhile. NO ONE in our family could know where she was. I won't go into any details here but will be happy to talk to you if you want. Anyway, to make a very long story shorter, this dau is one of my greatest heros! I raised her baby for 2 1/2 years till she straightened herself out. She is now a stay-at-home mom whos favorite part of working at the temple is the recommend desk so that she can help greet all the people who come and gain something from all the folks who come through the doors. She and her DH are foster parents for newborns who test positive for drugs. She loves helping the moms learn how to parent. She is a good one for that as I have rarely seen a better mom. I want to be like her when I grow up. The things she went through have helped her learn compassion, love, charity, hope, faith and service. In an '82 Ensign there is an article that kind of explains my way of handling her. It is called something like Keeping the door open and the soup hot. I kept the door open and she was always welcome at home even when she ran away. (She knew that the time My daughter has frequently called and told me she is so grateful that no matter what, she knew I would always love her unconditionally. No matter what else I ever did or what kind of example I was, she knew I loved her. Says it kept her going sometimes and no matter what she had done and how awful she felt about herself, she was loved by and important to me. If you want to talk, feel free to contact me and we can either email or I have unlimited long distance. (I have to as most of my babies live far from me.) This post is getting to long. I will put your name in at the temple here and keep you in my prayers. Grins, Kaye

My daughter came home late once when she was sixteen. I had a fit. I screamed and cried while she sat there calmly. She said, "Mom, you might as well calm down and relax or you're going to have a nervous breakdown. You raised me as well as you could and you're just going to have to trust that that you did a good job, because I am who I am and nothing you do is going to change me now." She's thirty now with three great kids of her own. In fact, I'd have to say she's a better mother than I was. She says her kids can't get away with anything because she's done it all My advise is to just love her for who she is and be there for her when she asks for help. She's almost of age and will legally be able to be on her own soon. You don't want to lose her. Trust me, if you push her, she'll just push back. It's just the way people are..kids and adults.

Kathy I can honestly say that I know how you feel. I found out that my daughter is smoking and it broke my heart. She said that it was a way of rebelling and I have to admit, it got my attention, but I have to understand that she is now an adult and she is responsible for her own choices in her life. We can only do so much and we have to give them the rope and let them do with it what they will. My dd is 18 and I know that I taught her well, it is up to her to make her life work for her. I will remember you in my prayers always. Donna

Ohhhh, my heart was in my throat as I read this...SO MANY mothers who are righteous and have raised their children righteously go through this! I hold a stake position and my counselor in the stake presidency and I had a meeting the other day...I knew he was having trouble with his kids but when I asked, to my horror, he burst into tears. His teen-age daughters (3 of them) have all turned their backs on the the gospel, one says she is an atheist now, and they all have been or are into drugs, illicit sexual relationships, etc--two of them don't even live at home any more, they are in some druggy community somewhere. Two of them have been expelled from school for good. I can tell you I have known this man and his wife for twenty years, and they are the finest of the finest--the best mother and father I've ever seen, and I've been a member all my life! He said his wife had to be hospitalized last week because she just had a nervous collapse...and this is so unlike her, I was astounded. She's so strong. But I knew, I knew! I went through this with my daughter, and I was a struggling single mother! It was so horrid--everyone thinks their story is the worst, but let me tell you, mine was bad. My children are all grown now, and they have all become inactive--but they are wonderful people, my daughter became "normal" again some years later when she had suffered enough--and she is a nurse now with a wonderful husband and children. She is the delight of my life (she will be 38 this month). My sons are wonderful too, my oldest is in the Army in Iraq, he is such a noble warrior, and my youngest is an engineer, in a very happy marriage. They all went through what you are describing (my daughter being the very worst--I did not expect to see her alive, for a two-year period). I know they will all come back to the gospel some day--I have the sweetest assurance of that. When the prophet challenged us to read the BOM by the end of Dec, I was really mourning one day because I still worry about my kids' salvation...and this scripture JUMPED off the page at me, it made me cry and cry all day, because I instantly knew it was true. Read 1 Nephi 21:25, and pay special attention to the last phrase. Let it live in your mind every day, and YOU HANG ON. Do all you can, then step back and deliver your burden to the Savior. You must, or you will die of sadness and terror. Take it from one who has been there. Now, for the restoration of your temple blessings--this always takes a long time--I was involved in something similar several times, and it takes 6 months to a year. Do not fear--you are noticed and they are aware of you--these things will come to you soon. The angels will rock and comfort you, my sister. It is your right to summon them and call down the shield of the strongest and sharpest sword to fight the Enemy--remember that you are a Mother in Israel, and there is NO force on this earth more powerful! I was told in a blessing once that the ONLY reason I did not perish when I was once living a dangerous lifestyle was the PRAYERS OF MY RIGHTEOUS MOTHER!!!! And don't you forget it! Now you pray and fast, and go to the foot of the Mercy Seat for your wonderful daughter. You will see--things will change. They may change slowly, but they will. I pray for your peace.