I feel really fat!!!!!!!!!!

I don't have a date yet. I have just started all of the testing in hopes of approval and a date. I hate hate the fact that it is hard to tie my shoes. That the legs of my garments are tight. That my breasts are so huge that the weight slides my garments and bra straps down. I hate every day that I have to get up and get dressed and hate my clothes. I hate the fact that it is hard for me to go up and down the stairs in my house. It is hard to get out of the car. I hate the fact that I out weight my husband. I love scrap booking and hate being in the pictures and making something lasting that I want them (my family) to look at forever. Oh ya and I hate trying to put on panty hose!!!!!!!! I hate going to see old friends. Many I have kept in touch with from 1st grade on. If my class was to have a reuinon right now I probably would not go. If I were to run into my ex-husband right now, well I would rather split my wrists than do that. In reading the lastest posts, I have to get up and conduct in RS feeling like this. I can understand not knowing anyone. I was from a little town in ID. Everyone knew each other and all of the families. In my ward in Vancouver WA there is lots of Apartments Complexs and everyone moves in and out all of the time. It is really hard to make good friends and I am in the Relief Society Pres. However people are not going to come to our houses to make friends with us. WE Have to be at church 1st. It will come. Besides did you know there are people in my ward who cry right now because they can't fit into their size tens? They are just as troubled with themselves and I am with myself. Talk to me I don't get to post but on the weekends at least until tax season is over. Barbara

Well, Barb, those of us that have had surgery know exactly where you are coming from and we know the other side. You will get there and be able to do so many things, that you will amaze yourself on a regular basis. I'm so excited for you. what is the property situation like around Vancouver? My husband and I are looking for a place to retire. We are kind of set now on North Oregon or south Washington. I want to live on the coast but the California coast is way out of our league to live on retirement. we expect to retire in about 7 or 8 years, but we'd like to buy land now. Christy

Barbara, I can understand how you're feeling. I didn't go to church for about 13 years because I couldn't get any pantyhose on and I really didn't have any clothes to wear. I felt huge, ugly and didn't want anyone to see me. I didn't think anyone would sit by me. I was afraid I would break the chairs in the Relief Society room. Let's not even go to the point that I was afraid I couldn't stand up from a chair without help. I could go on and on. I've been in your shoes and I understand how you feel. Have WLS is a very dangerous operation. It isn't a decision to take lightly. It IS/WAS something that I prayed about and felt that needed to be done for me. I was willing to take the risk. I felt the benefits outweighed (no pun intended) the risks for me. If I died having surgery, so be it. I was going to die fat if I didn't have the surgery. Good luck with your testing. If WLS surgery is for you then go for it. It's the best thing I've ever done. Melody

Barbara, Been there, Done that!! And asking for help to get out of the chairs in RS is just so humliating! I understand just how you feel, and it will not get any better. Like Melody, the decision to have surgery is not a decision to take lightly. I tell people that it is a last resort type of thing when everything else you have tried has done no good. It will all come to pass if you are patient and you can deal with the questions that doctors will ask of you to better make the medical decision with you. Good Luck and know that I am praying for you. Donna ETTE(Endure to the End)