Discouragement reigns! Prayers please!!!

I have been struggling with a few issues and just have not been able to talk to anyone. I don't want to be a "Wendy Whiner" but I can't take much more. I will understand if you don't want to read on and am warning you this may be long. Please remember me in your prayers either way. I had a revision Mar, 12, '04 and as a result, I have no stomach so I can eat much more than most of you. Still, I maintained a 120 lb weight loss for over a year. I think I stopped losing at 8 months out. I wanted to lose more but was ok with where I was. I felt great, looked better than years and was doing more than I ever dreamt possible. I fluctuated 10 lbs up and down and that was fine. However, since the middle of Feb, I have gained 30 lbs. I am so depressed and discouraged! I was considering changing my pic here but then, why bother. It looks like I will be here again. I am sooooooooo hungry all the time. For weird things. Things that don't really taste that good but I want them. I am always exhausted. I mean to the point of just laying on the bed. I have never been one to sleep more than 4 or 5 hours in a 24 hour period. (That is on the high side) The other day, I slept 15. The exhaustion has been creeping up on me slowly since last fall. I haven't cleaned house since before Christmas and some of my Christmas projects still aren't done. If I watch my grandchildren, (I mean watch not play with) I am exhausted and have to go to bed. I have NEVER been like this. I am moody and whiney and just want to give up. I am even to tired to be angry. I have a foggy brain and not thinking clearly. In a period of two days I lost my cell phone, my atm card and 20 dollars. Never found any of them. Actually, my phone was stolen but I think I left it at the grocery store and someone picked it up. I leave things everywhere and am emotionally and intellectually a mess. I have been having blood work done regularly and my iron levels have been steadily falling. Drs just shrugged and told me to take Vites. Then ordered iron and told me to double up on multivitamines. Still my iron kept falling. I am always dizzy, and light-headed. Feel like I am on narcotics. (even when I am not) I went to the dr for passing out and got a new Dr. We checked my blood work before seeing me and came in the room saying No wonder you're feeling the way you do, you're anemic. So I thought maybe I would get some relief. Nope! That was in Feb. This is April and finally I have an appointment with hematology Thur. I am so frustrated and really, I don't know if I can make it til that appt. I just want to go to bed and not get up. So, today, my dh and I were talking and he admited it is very noticable that I have gained weight. He hasn't said anything because he didn't want to hurt me. Anyway, we were talking and came up with the idea that maybe I am so hungry because my body needs some nutrients so badly. Also, I can't exercize because I am so tired. I can barely go to the grocery store and pick up a few groceries. Never mind cook them! So I am not getting any exercize and eating more. I told my Dr, I would trade my favorite grandchild for a hamburger most of the time. (The favorite grandchild status changes constantly, so I would be good for 33 hamburgers lol) So am I tired because I am eating too much and not exercizing or am I eating too much and not exercizing because I am so tired? The case of the chicken or the egg. I am so afraid of being fat again but the foggy brain scares me even more. I had a blessing today but it wasn't what I asked for. Oh well, maybe that was just me trying to have things the way I want. Sigh... Well, this has gone on too long and I am going to go rest. If you made it this far, Thanks. It helps to just write things out. Grins, Kaye

Okay my dear....pls feel free to come here ANY TIME!! Never heard of the Wendy Whiner saying... Quite frankly that is why I don't post to much anymore and if I do it is very short. I have heard "would you like some cheese to go w/your whine?".. Anyway... Get your u know what to the dr!!! If that dr. doesn't listen = screw em' and go to another!! I mean it Kaye. I see a hemotologist regularly. (Well, I am now). If your surgeon doesn't listen.....go to someone else (if you can). Kaye - what you describe is exactly how I felt last fall and continue to know. Just not as bad some days. One thing led to the other, continued to get worse (depression wises) fueled the restricting into anorexia/bulima - and landed my butt in the hospital 2 diff. times for nearly a month. Everyone kept saying "your depressed"....take this med, then that. Blah blah blah. It was more than just that. Since I started to "eat" I also gained weight which has thrown me into a tizzy. (Really plays havic w/the head games of restricting/eat/restrict/eat...) Have you went threw menopause yet? The reason I ask is because my hemotolgist is advocating that this be something that I not only consider but that I find an OBGYN who will do it. Because of malabsorption issues. The iron polysacride that I take (prescription iron that is absorbed in the bowel..i think that is right.anyway...it doesnt absorb in our pouch or stomach.... not in the actual stomach cuz we dont have stomach acid anymore to absorb iron...so it needs to absorb elsewhere...) My levels are not coming up. And he fears that the most important level that has 'maintained' its percentage which is on the low end of normal could drop anytime. (it is the red blood cells). By having a hysterectomy it would elimanate one more issue of 'blood loss'. In my case it is borderline hemmoraging on some days. It is common for people who are anemic to also have very heavy menstral cycles. Anyway -- case in point. Pls get to the dr. If it gets to bad go to the ER. Hang in there!!! (((( HUGS )))) Gala

Thanks Gala! Yes I did the menapause thing. I had a complete hysterectomy in '99. I ALMOST wish I were anorexic. 30 lbs is a lot to gain in just a few months. I see the hemotolgist on Thur for infusions. I a afraid they will then want to schedule one and that will probably take a couple of weeks. I KNOW I will lose control completely! Oh well, maybe I will just stand there in the medical mall until I pass out. (doesn't take much) Maybe then they will do something! Kiddo, I don't even have a pouch to absorb some of the iron!I will have to hammer that one home to someone. Someone, somehow, somewhere has to help or I am really getting to the point of being worried about what I will do! It helped today that my dau called to invite me to Hawaii for TWO WEEKS next summer! All expenses paid! That came at a good time. Thanks again, Grins, Kaye

Kaye, I had no idea that you were struggling in this way. You will DEFINATELY be in my prayers each morning and night. (You are too Gala) as well as other members of this board. I'm going to e-mail you personally. Melody

Kaye, You need to make haste to a Bariatric friendly surgeon or Doctor. Most likely you are having an inadequate blood pannel and need more things checked. If your trends continue downward; you'll be battling the iron infusions and those are a bear to keep up with. Most likely you need them NOW!!! B-12??? Yup, your forgetfullness with your loss of energy can be a combination of B-12 deficiency. Doc in u.s. rarely report anything below 200 as being cause for concern for US; ...anything below 800 is in a bad zone! You need to be up around the European mark of 2,000 to insure appropriate energy levels and to keep from a very real possibility of brain damage. B-12 cannot be absorbed normally if you have had a bypass surgery so you need to be taking the sublingual form (under the tongue, dissolves in a second witout any taste) ...and most likely need B-12 shots which need to be prescribed by your doc. You are not whiney! You have got some serious issues that need to be addressed. I suggest that you join the OSSG_Graduates group to resource their files, whi*****ludes lists of labs that you can print and have your doc run off. They have docs that are patrons of the support site and they will actually review your lab numbers for you on the site and make suggestions. Be an advocate for your health! Don't assume that any doc has the answers for YOUR body! Very few docs understand the complex bodies of the post-op WLS patient; let alone their potential health dangers. Let me stress one more time! Low ferritin/low iron AND/OR low B-12 levels can be serious ....brain damage possibilities and even can be FATAL... Not trying to scare you....just providing a kick in your tired backside in the right direction! Big cyber hugggz your way, Joyce in az

Thanks Joyce, I appreciate your comments. I do B-12 injections. I had a gastrectomy and so that changes things. I use a military facility and often civilians do not understand how things are done there. The facility that I went to is one of the best in the nation for WLS and their follow-up is usually very good. The problem is that with things the way they are in Iraq, the wounded soldiers have priority. They had slowed things down and I was having to see the regular PCM. So I got back to the surgeon and he has refered me to a hematologist. But the civilians in the office to schedule appts are jerks. Power mongers so to speak. We will have to see what happens. The Doc that did my surgery is gone but the other one that was here at the time and knows me just got back from deployment. So finally things are moving again. Still, if I don't get satisfaction from Hema... I will be calling my surgeon and I know the blank will hit the fan. Too bad I am to tired to watch the fireworks. Thanks for reminding me about the graduates forum. Thanks again for your concern. Grins, Kaye

P.S. The grad site is a yahoo groups site. (free)....just got to: www.yahoogroups.com follow the directions to join and then on the home page where you see the SEARCH window, type: OSSG_Graduates Suppport Group. Follow those directions (they require a moderator to approve you) and you'll be on...I suggest that you select "no e-mail" status as your option...otherwise you'll have 300 e-mails in your in-box each day. You can read all their information by just logging onto their site each day like you do with this O.H. site. BTW...OSSG stands for Obesity Surgery Support Group. Joyce

Kaye, so sorry to hear of your troubles! Thanks for being open and sharing with us. It looks like you have received some great advice from fellow posters here. I wish you the best as you continue to search for some answers. Hugs... Allison

Thanks Allison, I hope to get some resolution this week. I really can't bear much more. Take care. Grins, Kaye

Good morning Kaye, I feel so bad for you. I did want to mention to you another test you might want to ask for. I too had some of the same symtoms as you. I was exhausted all the time,(my blood work keeps showing that I am anemic) my weight loss has stopped completely after a 50 pound loss and I also noticed some other symtoms too.My joints were hurting all the time so it hurt to exercise etc. Long story short- I did some research and noticed I had a lot of symtoms of Lupus. Since my husband is retired military I can relate to the frustration you experience.My PC in family practice kept putting me on iron suppliments which made my joints hurt even worse. Since I have a hard time getting in to see him I made an appointment in acute care and asked the Dr. to do an ANA test. She put the paperwork in and sure enough it came back positive . It acutally got the attention of my PC who is now doing more serious blood panels because now they're pretty sure I have Lupus( I also have 2 sisters who have just been diagnosed) But it does change the dynamics of things. The sisters on this board are right- be your own advocate because no one else will. I know it takes a lot of effort when you don't feel well. You will certainly be in my prayers Kaye. Wishing you success in finding the solutions to making you well. Huggs, Sharon