Gala gave you some very wise advise. Let me offer my two cents for whatever they are worth. You say you are an inactive member of the church but you seem to have held to the church ideals. Pray about this decision and if you can, fast about this decision. I prayed and fasted about the decision to have this surgery and received a very firm and postitive answer that for me this surgery was the right thing to do. I'm 44 years old and have been fat my whole life. I've been seeing my PCP about my weight for years. Fen Phen worked wonders but when I stopped it the weight came back on. I've worked through many other diets, all of which were successfull on a temporary basis. The weight always came back on and I always gained even more weight then when I started the diet. My PCP finally told me that he was no longer going to subscribe anything for me because the yo-yo dieting was worse for my health than being fat. I asked my PCP about gastric by-pass surgery and he whole heartedly endorsed it for me. I sought a second opinion through my neurologist (I have MS) and my nerologist said he didn't advise having gastric by-pass surgery for very many people but this was my only option and he endorsed it fully. He said that gastric by-pass surgery was my only option to lose the weight on a more permanent basis. Yes, our bodies are our temples but I was a food addict. I was abusing my body with food. Since I've had my surgery my whole thought process has changed. I used to live to eat. Now I eat to live. A flip-flop of how I lived my life pre-surgery. I'm healthier now, I can now keep the word of wisdom more fully (moderation in all we do). I felt that being obese was breaking the word of wisdom in one of the worst sense. You may not have any co-morbidities now but they are coming. When our bodies carry around that much extra weight we are doing damage we don't even know about until it's almost too late to reverse or much harder to reverse. Pray about this decision. Yes death can occur. Death usually occurs when there are other co-morbity problems. Rarely does death occur when someone is healthy. If you are truely worried about death than work to get your life in order and be prepared to meet your maker. Death isn't that bad. It reminds me of something Ryan White's mother told him years ago (Ryan White was the young man who was a hemophylliac). His mother told him that when he was in the womb before he was born he was so comfortable there. He didn't want to leave that space where he was so comfortable and warm to go someplace unknown. When he was finally born and saw that there was light and things weren't just dark all the time. He saw that there was room and there was color and he could move around. If someone had asked him if he wanted to go back into his mother's womb and stay there after experiencing life he wouldn't want to go back to that dark cramped space. Death is like that. We're afraid of the unknown. Just like a baby is afraid of leaving their comfort zone for that scary place called life, we're afraid to leave our comfort space in the place we call earth to go to an unknown place called heaven. But when we get there and see how wonderful it is we'll wonder why we never wanted to go and we wouldn't want to go back to that place we called earth. My surgery was 9 months ago. It's the best thing I've ever done. I've lost 105 pounds so far and hope to lose another 25-30 pounds. Come back often. We're here to help you if you would like. Melody

First of all I want to commend you for coming to the LDS forum. This is the first step into many in a healthier life. As far as your first question. I went threw a spurt of "what happens if I die. I have 3 young children..ect ect ect". Then I would put it into another perspective "At 305 lbs, 30 yrs old. No 'real' significant health problems YET...I'm on my way to killing myself regardless. So I can have surgery. Have faith in my surgeon and those around me that all will work out. Have faith in myself that when my time is come to return back home to my HF - then it will come. There is NOTHING I can do about it. So my rationale was if I don't have surgery I'm just going to die a slower miserable death. Instead of giving myself the chance at a healthier life to spend w/my babies. NOW...You said you don't have any co-morbids. GREAT. Count your blessings!! And that is a HUGE one. If your surgeon has a good track record in all of his/her areas expertise you should have NOTHING to worry about. The healthier you are going into surgery the better your chances are for a quick, fast recovery!!! Remember that!! As for your 2nd question. I'm not sure how to answer that. Yes, our bodies are like temples. They should be left the way our HF intended. And no surgery doesn't go against what our bodies are made for. This surgery wouldn't have been made possible and have such huge success rates if it wasn't "good" for people. Your body is on its way to having many of the co-morbids that others have. I was lucky I didn't have to many co-morbids. However, last November when I was dx with a heart condition that was directly related to my health. Guess what....I jumped on the band wagon and made my first appt. I had "thought" about having surgery. But at that point when my PCP said to me "Gala, have you ever heard of Gastric Bypass" I interruppted him and said "Kent, what do you think of Dr. Sunby? I know he does RNY and I think very highly of him". This was the answer to my prayers. My dr. who is also my age telling me "Gala, you have got to get the weight off and it has got to be permanent. No diet will do that for you...." If you can do it now do it...while you are healthy. While you don't have the other health risks involved!! Best of luck in your choice. And remember.....you can ALWAYS call your bishop/branch president and ask for a blessing. Plain and simple. No questions asked. Merry Christmas. Gala

Way to go Hydi. What a great Christmas gift to yourself. I've been trying everyday to respond to your post and tell you how proud I was of you but everytime I tried to respond (to anybody) I got an error message. I thought the site was having problems. This morning I discovered that the problem was mine and mine alone. I have never signed out or logged out of Obesityhelp so I never thought another thing of it. This whole week there was a little note at the top of this Obesityhelp page that said "sign in". I ignored it because I've never signed out. Then I noticed that it didn't show my name at the top like usual so I got to thinking that I did a disk cleanup on my computer and it must have erased the cookie that saved my log in information on this site. I signed in again and lo and behold I can now reply to posts. That was a long way of saying congratulations on your progress and good for you. Melody

Gala, thanks for the support. I have also heard negative things about LDSSS in the adoption area, having a job, love, and a temple recommend is not good enough for them. My in-laws were turned down by them several times. I am kind of leary about going to them, but I cannot find anyone who seems to respect our values. My wife is a mega prude and has some bizarre notions about sex. She won't listen to any one unless it comes from the church. I am hoping finally she will listen and begin to open up to me. I wish the best for you. -Jonathan

She still has her free agancy Jon. You can't force her. I hope it all works out for you. Good Luck! Lexie