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Topic: RE: No one noticed
Gala - you WILL get there. I had consigned myself to being the one person with WLS that would still be the same size even months later.
It took 4 months but I did finally go down some sizes. It WILL happen for you. It's something to look forward to.
Melody
Melody Topic: RE: Struggling
Boy Gala, you have a lot on your plate. I don't want to minimize what you are going through because it's VERY real and VERY important. I would just like you to know that others have been there, done that. I know saying it to you doesn't help but just know that others have struggled through difficult times too.
I think your children acting out is a way for them to say "pay attention to me, I'm important too". They've dealt with some wierd things for their age. Both their mommy and their daddy had operations really close to each other. As much as we try to shield them, they have ears and they hear the concerns from other people. They know that both of you were in the hospital at different times. Their world is different for them right now.
As far as your husband - well, he IS a man. (sorry to any of the men on this site). It's like when they have a cold it's "I'm dying. Take care of me". We can be very ill and all we get from them is "What time is dinner?" I guess that's the difference between men and women.
Sorry to tell you Gala but it sounds like you're mourning food. I think most of us have gone through that. For me at least, it did get better. I kept telling myself that I wanted this weight loss more than I wanted the food. It seemed to help for me.
I can relate to you for wanting some quiet time. It's tough to be "mom". You mentioned your branch president's wife so it sounds like you're in a branch which doesn't tend to have as many people. In our ward, the young women are working on their personal progress goals. Some of them will babysit for free for a service project. You can contact your young women's president and inquire. That might allow you some extra help. Maybe one of the young women can just come into your home for a couple hours and keep the kids quiet and entertained while you grab a nap.
I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old. I found that I would sit on the couch and read them books and sing primary songs with them. It gave them their "time" with mommy and they were more content to play on their own.
My girls also fought like sisters. Pinching, pulling hair, hitting. I made each of them their own charts. I then created some pictures of Jesus and some more nonsense pictures. We named these non-sense pictures "Mr. Grouchy". When the girls did something good without complaining for without being told they got to put a "Jesus" on their charts. When they were mean to each other they had to put a "Mr. Grouchy" on their charts. It has made a world of difference in their behavior. They will do anything NOT to get a MR. Grouchy. It's funny because the non-sense picture isn't even ugly. It's just the name. When the children earn 10 "Jesus" pictures they get a reward (sleeping with Grama). It took less than 2 weeks for these charts to totally turn their behavior around. They play much better, no fighting, no being mean.
Gala, write and vent any time you want. That's what we're here for. I wish that I could give you more support.
Good luck - don't forget you have visiting teachers.
Melody
Melody 
Topic: Struggling
I am really struggling here and just need to do some venting.
I feel "okay". Not the best but better than I thought I would. I think alot of my pain in my back is due to having had the gall bladder removed and also the bladder infection that I have.
I don't tolerate crying to begin with...and when I am sick it is even worse. I am sure the meds don't help any -- which I am trying to wean off of because of the side affects.
My 2 yr old does nothing but scream he wants this or that, pounds on his sister deliberatly to make her mad, takes things from her and just plain is a 2 yr old boy. My 5 yr old does nothing but whine and cry and moan and groan about everything. She's hungry, she wants this she isn't eating that, stomping her feet telling us she doesn't care and goes to her room.
Now these are EVERY DAY things in our house. And it bothers me and we have worked very hard on changing them. We have talked to the kids, especially Abigayle re: our owies, how we know it is hard ect ect -- she is 5 she doesn't care nor understand.
I can't take it anymore. Regardless. My dh is recouping, doesn't always respond to stress well to begin with and has just plain been in lack of other words mean. Know I know he isn't being "mean" and I am probably just over reacting. But I am sick of it. TIred of his being so strict and being so short with the kids. He is being so short right now w/Bryant getting him to bed and it is killing me. I wish I had the energy and was physically able to go in and help. But I can't.
I just want to have "quiet" like he did. I made sure the kids were taken care of when he first came home. I know he had an open surgery -- but guess what. LAP is just as painfull just not as long. He has been doing good for the most part.
I am REALLY wanting to eat something else. I thought I would be stronger than this and not be so weak when it came to food. I have wanted this, fought for this for so long and here I sit thinking "Dang what I wouldn't give for just ONE piece of that chicken James brought home tonight".
I just want this to end!!! I wanted to go to my support group so bad tonight. We didn't have a babysitter. Our branch presidents wife took Bryant for a few hours today so I couldn't ask her and she has helped out more than her share over the last month. And it would have been late. James didn't want to take me. Saying "you wouldn't have taken me 2 days after I got home." Okay..I took him to his 6 days after he got home AND i had to take the kids and entertain them for 2 hrs. (We have different drs and groups). I know I needed to stay home. But I would have just liked to be "out" not around my kids, having "me time". Of course he says "You can go to mine in a few weeks" I don't want to go to his. They are not my "group" and I don't feel any connection to them. I do..but I don't. I didn't get to go last month because it was the day of his surgery and I needed to stay w/him that evening.
Sorry to be so down. I don't regret doing this. I just wish I had more help and didn't have to ask you know? Why can't my husband step up to the plate and make the calls or do something w/them more than just go to 1 hr of this activity or that...??!???!!!? The week is only going to get worse. I can just see it.
Gala
Topic: RE: No one noticed
I think tha tis just natural feelings wanting to be noticed. You have worked hard to get to this point.
I have found a lot of people don't know what to say when they have seen someone loose weight. Regardless of the reasonings it is hurtfull.
Glad to hear you are doing well and I can't wait to get into 18 dresses or ANYTHING less than I am.
Gala
Topic: RE: No one noticed
Wanting acknowldegement isnt vain. its natural. My visiting teaching partner and I are both post op so people think its cute to come behind us and say, hows the two newest skinnies in the ward? - trust me it gets old. I loved it at first, but now it feels kind of fake.
-Sherrie
Topic: No one noticed
I've lost 62 pounds but I was still wearing all my old church dresses. I was having to pin, pin, pin the dresses before church so they would stay up on my shoulders. It was looking pretty pathetic.
I went through my closet and got rid of all my too big clothes. I went through a box in my closet (one where I had stored clothes that I haven't been able to wear for at least 6 years). By going through this box I was able to fill my closet up again with clothes that were much, much smaller.
In that one day I got rid of my size 24 dresses and can now wear size 18 dresses. I was sooo pleased that I was able to wear dresses that FIT. I went to church vainly thinking that people would notice and comment on my weight loss. WRONG. No one said a word to me. It was like no one noticed.
I was being vain and it served me right that no one said anything to me. (I've been very open about my surgery and most the ward knows about it). I was hoping for the ego boost that would come when people would notice.
Later on Sunday evening my mother told me that one of the women commented to her that "Wow, Melody's really lost a lot of weight". I finally got my ego boost, even if I didn't hear it first hand.
I've learned not to be so vain. I also repented of that little episode.
Melody
260/198/??
Melody
260/198/?? Topic: RE: Where is everyone?
Hi Donna.
Haven't heard much from you lately. How are you doing? The last thing I read from you, you sounded down in the dumps. Hope things are going better now.
Melody
Melody Topic: RE: Boy did I have alot to say
Gala by having the courage to complain and tell all you have done other WLS patients that use that hosptial a service. Things might improve for the next patient.
I'm glad that you stuck up for yourself and refused certain things. In general WLS (gastric bypass especially) is not one of the commonly performed surgeries and hospitals like to treat us just like every other patient.
How is your bladder? Is it improving with the antibiotic?
Hope things continue to improve for you.
Melody
Melody Topic: RE: Boy did I have alot to say
Im glad you were able to get your voice heard - that is so important!
-Sherrie
Topic: Boy did I have alot to say
I just talked to the Coordinator of the Bariatric Program. In the past I haven't had the best of luck w/her. She is a very very busy women whom is very overworked by this organization. But I have come to the realization of this and try to be more patient with her.
She told me she wanted me to talk to her after surgery. Let her know "what happened". What was good w/the hospital staff. What wasn't ect ect.
I emailed her yesterday and told her "you told me you wanted me to talk and BOY do I have alot to say".
Well..she just called. An hour later....our call ended. She was very supportive. Very intersted in what I had to say. Told me that others said the same thing. When I told her that I was aloud an "ounce of optisourse and hour from Wed. afternoon to thursday" she said "WHAT". I told her they wouldn't let me swish and spit and I did anyway -- I said "you know if you take a med cup and swish & spit every hour that would help." And I did it anyways. I wiped my face/lips w/a cool wash cloth anyway...and at one point I told the nurse "you might as well give me permission becaus I am going to do it anyway". Lauren said over and over she is working on getting a training/inservice set up that will be mandatory for all staff to attend. She said she wished I knew the name of the intern -- and I reminded her she could get a copy of my chart and see who rx the benedryl. I told her how I felt about what happened and looking back it makes me kind of upset. She said she would take care of it. She also is going to find out who the nurse I had on Wed. that told me "Just because other hospitals do it differently doesn't mean we will - and just because your husband had things done one way doesn't mean we will". I told Lauren at that point I clammed up. At no point had we compared what James' hospital did vs mine. It was all I could do not to cry in front of her and I told the nurse I wanted to talk to Lauren or Sunby. When SUnby came in all I could do was cry so I didnt' say anything to him.
She normally sees patients in the hospital but had to be out of town last week unexpectedly. She said "I checked up on you though". I asked her "did they tell you I was either onary or emotional" She said no Dr. Sunby told her everything went okay.
I feel better. I trust that she is doing what she can to get the hospital staff informed.
Just thought I would share...
Gala
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where did everyone go? this board certainly hasnt seen much action!
shannonigan · 0 replies · 474 views
shannonigan · 0 replies · 474 views
