Tammy, Although he is a Bishop, he is still just a man. We all have faults. I know of a situation frighteningly similar to yours. The bishop went out of his way to support a ward member that had been arrested by vice cops and because family #2 had been embroiled in some sort of dispute with this man's family, the bishop took away food assistance from family #2. He has been called as bishop for a reason. We do not fully understand why. But I believe he was called NOT because he was good at this, yet instead it is intended for him learn from this experience. Do not let your faith waver. You may wish to approach the stake pres about attending another ward in your stake or a neighboring stake. ((Hugs)) Laurie

Gala, I want you to know that you and your family have been in my prayers for a very long time now. I sensed that your problems weren't completely resolved and you were still in need of prayers. I've put your name on the temple prayer list several times. I think about you often and pray that you will have the wisdom to know how to handle the situations you are facing and that will have the strength to overcome problems. You are loved. Melody

Tammy Dear, Obviously you are seeing first hand an example of "Leadership Abuse" bear with me while I tell you a little story, one that is becoming somewhat of a legend in my family. It's a true story, of an experience my parents had when I was a small child. This took place probably 50 years ago, and the majority of the people closest to the incident are no longer living, so it's being told more frequently in my immediate family, as an example of the way my parents raised their six children, to support church members in leadership positions. My parents were both converts to the Church. My mother was baptized when she was 14, and my father was baptized when he was 20 years old. They married in the Logan Temple when my mother was 23 and my father had just turned legal age of 21. They had there first five children in Idaho, in communities which were entirely LDS. I being their 6th child was not born until 1945 in another western state. My early childhood was spent in a small branch, that existed largely due too displaced Utah and Idaho Mormons changing careers after the second world war, and locating to less LDS populated areas for employment. My father drove with the man that was then our Branch President to another state to attend a work related meeting (convention of sorts), as the meeting was drawing to a close, my father who was driving, went in search of the Branch President. He found the said Branch President extremely intoxicated, as well as involved with a woman that was obviously not his wife. My fathers first reaction was to just leave the man, return home. They were at the time a few hours drive away from home. He was having trouble deciding just how to handle the matter, decided to make a long distance call home and ask my mother what she thought he should do? She wasn't home, but one of my older sisters was, she was in her early twenties, may have already been on a mission at the time. She told him, she thought he should bring the man home. Better not to leave him there and have to figure out what to tell his wife and the Branch. So my father returned to the meeting place, retrieved the man, I guess told him he had to come home with him. During the few hours drive home, the man began to sober up, and became remorseful regarding his behavior. It was Saturday evening, and the BP was trying to figure out what he was to do the next morning on the Sabath, and how was he to face folks. What my father answered at the time, and of course this part is boiled down for the purpose of family telling, was that he was to repent immediately, fulfill the calling he had, (my father believed that the man was called to the job, and that he had a responsibility to the members of the Branch) and nothing would ever be said about the matter again. And that's the way the future went, a few years after that, not long actually. The Area was finally organized into a Stake, and this man became the first Stake President. Later, he went on a mission and served as a mission President. Its important here to remember that my father did not take this mans sins on as his responsibility. Nor did my father let it affect his activity in the church. He also never told this story to a single individual. The lesson I learned from my parents is this, when the person is called, and we are the ones that fall under their leadership. What they do right or wrong, is ENTIRELY THEIR OWN RESPONSIBILITY, they and only they can answer for their sins. We have only the responsibility for OURSELVES. Obviously you can't change what has already happened, but you do have the obligation to yourself, to let go of the anger. I am a very hot headed person, and when I become resentful, it's not easy for me to let go. But if I remain angry, then that individual is the one winning. And I become the looser in the equation. This Bishop is not "The Gospel" he is only a human being that has for this moment in time been given a calling that he either fulfils with integrity or without integrity. Your description to the forum, sounds like a man who is right on the edge of excommunication! Have you ever spoken to your Stake President about this man? If in fact others are having problems with him, I would suppose you won't have to wait long before he cuts his own throat, he is obviously driving on the wrong side of the road! If you become inactive because of this mans actions, or Lose your Faith, then he wins. Callings are from "Heavenly Father" but as weak humans, we can mess them up beautifully. Again this man will pay, and the price he will pay, will make the annoyance you and others have with him, seem as nothing. He is abusing his calling, to even suggest that you should have been avoiding having the youngest child. And to be so arrogant as to remind people that he is a judge in Israel, is sooo abusive, I can't believe that mans coat tails aren't burning! Linda in Texas P.S. Living in small town Utah is itself a challenge. Move as soon as your able! Or then again you could prove to yourself that you can outlast him.

I don't know where else to go with this.... A year ago our ward bishop was called. I could not in good conscience raise my hand and sustain him. I had a horrible nasty feeling inside when his name was announced as the new bishop. From his wife who I played Bunco with I knew enough about their marriage and what type of man he was to have absolutely no respect for him. Since he has been called I have tried to maintain civil at all times in his presence. When DH lost his job and we needed food assistance I sucked it up and approached the biship who DID give us weekly food orders until DH got another job. When I got pregnant with my youngest (2 months old) I went to the bishop because I was tired of feeling hostile and angry about church and I wanted to clear the air and repent of my feelings. Instead, he berated me for getting pregnant and insinuated that I must be stupid if I didn't know what birth control was. Since that time, he has chastized DH for not befriending a man in our ward who is a wife abuser (physcially, sexually, and mentally) that I am TESTIFYING against in court since I was a whitness to it and then Bishop released us from our callings - which we accepted and fufilled completely inspite of everything. When I went into premature labor and my baby was in NICU the bishopric not once visited or even returned our phone calls to them, and when I asked for help from the relief society president while I was still in the hospital he told her to tell me that it was up to my family not the ward to help us. Several of the ward members are moving because of him including us. We still have not had Kayden blessed and he's almost 3 months old. I feel sick inside everytime I think about having to talk to the bishop to arrange his blessing. I don't want him having ANYTHING to do with my son's blessing but I wonder if I should put my feelings aside and just get him blessed no matter what. I don't know where to go or who to talk to because everyone keeps telling me that it will be his word against mine and that he is my priesthood leader and I should just keep my mouth shut. I think I actually despise the man. I can't even go to church right now becuase the very site of him causes a panic attack. DH and I worried because we are afraid of going inactive...There are also MANY MANY MANY other things he has done to my family and 3 others in the ward that I know of personally. Until now I believed with all my heart that callings were from Hevenly Father. Not anymore. I don't know how a man like that who is a Judge in Israel (he reminds us of this almost everytime we see him) can act that way. Am I missing something? Am I just being stupid like he says...naive even? I really need some input and advice....even years ago when I was inactive I never doubted the church, Heavenly Father, or that Joseph Smith was true prophet... I never doubted until now. Tammy

Thank you for letting us know Melody!! What a sweetheart you are to be so intune w/the spirit. She is in our prayers!! Gala