Melody: Let me first start off by saying I was molested by my grandfather from what I remember (but I think it went on longer) is at least 5 years. I have my first memory of things starting when I was only three, but my gut tells me it went on longer. Anyway to your questions. When Presidnet Hinckley said to forgive, he meant forgive the sinner. Our Heavenly Father does not expect us to forgive/condone the action as it is a very evil action. Let me share something with you. I am a convert of the Church. I have been baptized now for about 9 1/2 years. Before I joined the CHurch I knew my Savior, He was and is my best friend, my Savior in every sense of the word, not just spiritually but also physically. As you are aware, going through abuse (anytype) weakens and can dystroy your spirit if you let it. I was blessed that even before I joined the Church I knew my Savior. Now I didn't know I had a Father in Heaven who loved me - but that is a different story. I say can weaken/dystory our spirit if we let it because the power of the Atonement is real and it can and will take all pain away, if we allow it to be taken. And that even goes for the parents of the child who was hurt, you. One day you will come to realize that you don't need to forgive what happened but you have fully forgiven the person. Does that make sense? It is a hard road to travel, being abused, but I would not trade it for anything in this world. Because of what happened to me I am the person I am today, and I rather like that person. So no, you do not have to forgive the act, but yes you do have to forgive the person...my personal feelings is that the main reason we have to forgive the other person is not so much for them...but it brings us to a different and much more spiritual level. I can not say I am happy with what I went through...but Heavenly Father made something terrible change into something wonderful. I now have empathy for others that I would not have if I didn't go through what I did and I am a very strong person with a secure foundation built upon the gospel of Jesus Christ, of whom he is my best friend and understands everybit about me...even parts my husband doesn't undertand. One day it will all turn out for the good...and yes you may even be thankful you all went through what you did...not that hurting is nice but it is kindof the refiners fire. Anyway, this is long enough. Have a great night. Virginia

Thank you for your message! Yes, I am doing better. I am now about 3 months out and I have lost 73 lbs. It's so cool, except that I don't fit into my clothes any more! Which is, I guess, a good thing I am pretty sure that my stomach remains small, cuz I still get full after only about 3 or 4 bites, depending on the food. It's still kind of a mind-trip, and so occasionally, I have to fight the feeling of shoveling comfort foods into my mouth. This surgery really works in that area, though! I only have to eat a little too much once, and then up it comes, or I get sick, and it never happens again-- at least with the same foods. I get a little rebellious at times, so I tend to pu**** a little. Not too rebellious, I keep remembering what a HUGE waist it would be to try and eat more and then gain the weight back again. I will NEVER go back there again. I hope everything is working out for you as well, and speaking of "working out" I would probably lose more if I did that. Need to get goin on that! Take care, CJ

I am so glad you asked this question. While I am not a mormon, I have many friends who are, I go to a different church, I was browsing through. I to felt I was eating too much and was freaking out on my first visit at my one week checkup. I asked the doc about it, and he said not to worry, that in the early months you cannot stretch your pouch, however, if you eat more than you should, it can stretch out more than it should...but it will stretch over months regardless if we eat food or not. In other words, our pouches will stretch whether we want them to or not, even if we never ate a mouthful of food. LOL I am now 6weeks post op, and a trick I did was to measure my food and then after an hour or more if I was still hungry, to get something small to eat with a lot of protein in it. I am down 40lbs now, so perhaps that is a key?? Tonight I made a boo boo and did not eat enough little meals throughout the day, and ate a bigger one at dinner, however still not a lot. I had about 8 boiled shrimp and a salad, which is all water and when chewed well, it compresses to very little food. Then I had a Skin a bear by Klondike, they are sugar free and 1 gm of sugar alcohol eskimo pies and are so satisfying if you need something sinful tasting. Good luck, and hope everything is going okay for you now. God Bless, Deb

Melody, you are an amazing woman of incredible strength. Thanks for being an example of someone who is striving to respond to a terrible thing the way that Christ would. Keep doing the things that you are doing, taking care of your daughters, and yourself. May the Lord continue to bless you with peace the peace to cope with this trial. Hugs... Allison

Hi Gala, You probably all ready know this, but just in case you don't. You can listen to all of the sessions of conference from lds.org. I just went there today, and downloaded the MP3 versions on the Saturday sessions so I can listen to them again on my MP3 player. Or, you can always print the talks, OR of course, just wait patiently for the Ensign. : ) Have a great day everyone!