Could we just quit b!%#$ing please

Maybe I was just a tad tired as I was reading through a particular post, because it's been a really long day, and I'm normally pretty quiet, ...........but who the hell cares or has the right to tell anyone what they think is right or wrong.  Wait I'm sorry, you can tell me, but please, don't pu**** on me.  Debating is one thing, but that's not what's going on. If having WLS is right for you and you don't feel like you can make it, with out it, then I am happy you came to that decision for yourself.  If plastics is the route your going to get those boobs a little more perky, or arms a little shapelier, great.  If it makes you feel better about yourself, go for it.  We all know the risks of wls, of losing through diet and exer. and then regaining, of taking diet pills, of finding something that works for you and then platueing, of thinking you've found the answer and then finding out most things are grey-not just black and white.  And if you don't know, you'll learn.   Opinions are great.   Take what is said and apply it to you the way it works best.  Take it or leave it.  I really don't mind, and I think more people on this forum shouldn't mind so much who takes the opinions or leaves them. How many times can we politely say, do what is best for you.  But someone always has to add..BUT I wouldn't do it .......or........BUT I don't think that's the right choice..........or..........they obviously didn't do the research.  OMG...........I feel like I'm listening to my Preschool students  when I read some of these posts:  Johnny hit me and then I kicked him; Sally took my crayon, but I was still using it.  Why does it have to be so controversial.  Do what is best for your body.  I don't have to agree, it's not my body.  

I'd never tell anyone not to do anything...I don't live in their body. But as a person who's been obese my entire adult life, I do feel I have finally learned some things about what looks really are and really mean, and wish I had people like me to help me understand that it's okay to be who you are at any size when I was young and full of self-loathing. I wasted a lot of years and energy hating a body that was actually healthy, beautiful, and fat instead of nourishing it, moving it, and making it well. I would have done *anything* to change it then (well, except possibly moderate eating changes and responsible exercise ) and wished daily for magic answers in the form of a pill, a surgery--whatever would make the hurt go away. When those quick answers weren't available, I dove a little deeper and gained some perspective. A tough journey, but I wouldn't trade it.. I got to see a million miles I might have missed, and learned about life in the process. It wasn't until I LOVED my body and myself that I was ready to really make the necessary changes to take care of it. I can't imagine trying to do it in the opposite order-- in fact, I am convinced it's where a lot of diets and plans fail a lot of people. They promise you A Better Body, which in turn is supposed to bring you some kind of peace-- and people get disillusioned when they do the work and still feel no peace within. I believe that making peace with yourself first makes things so much easier and less torturous. My message isn't one of "Thou shalt" or "Do not", but "Love the body you have now." Wherever you go from there, it's an easier transition, since you''ll be working for someone you respect and admire, instead of someone you loathe and feel shameful about.

Shari,

Again, I am happy for you.  I too wish I knew then what I know now.  That's not how life works-wouldn't it be nice.  But no matter how much someone told me to love myself, or how much I knew diet and exercise was the answer, it didn't mean a thing until I truly GOT IT, had that AH HA moment.  I know my case is a little different, butI knew at 18 what I should do to get off the weight, but didn't, and probably for some of the same reasons 20, 30 or 40 year-olds have right now.  We all know it comes at different times for different people and that everyone's answers are never the same. 

I am glad those girls you work with see a confident, bigger woman.  And I hope it does inspire them to be proud of who they are.  I  am just a little tired of people trying to justify the fact that their way is the way to go.  Yes, statistics are statistics.  And they are piled against us.  But my point is why all the banter.  You're going for surgery, great.  It is obvious you did your research.  But you can't hold everyone's hands or insinuate that they haven't thought out their decision.  If a younger person wants surgery, they have to meet certain criteria, get their doctor's permission, and go through all the steps you had/have to go through to get surgery.  It's never easy no matter what age (and I'm not saying you said it was easy).

Yes, love the body you have now.  I agree.  I think it is obvious that you have a healthy dose of selfconfidnce.   But, you know what, as proud as I am of myself, and as much as I love who I am, I am still having plastic surgery.  Is it all medically necessary, no.  But you know, it makes me feel better about the way I look.  And I am not ashamed to say that. I am doing what I feel is best for me, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  You don't have to agree.  But, I do appreciate your opinion.  

I've never knocked plastics (except taken to extremes or for the very young)...just drastic internal surgery that can potentially damage healthy bodily systems. Thassit! As for justifying my opinion and choices, I believe I was asked to. So I did. But my opinions can be pretty tedious-- so maybe the ignore function isn't such a bad idea when I am around.

I agree, internal surgery is very serious, but again, everyone has to go through the same steps.  I also wasn't knocking the fact that you give your opinions and justify your decisions.   It's important to be able to back up your choices with personal and professional reasons.  I was trying to get at the fact that at times it feels like you (as well as others) are saying some people are making misguided choices and inferring that they are wrong-whether you meant it or not.   Don't get me wrong, I appreciate what you have to say.  And if I was on a debate team, you'd be my first pick to be on my team.  But  it can be a tedious.  I love the ignore button!

Yes ma'am!!!     I must say I do agree with you. I've done my own fair share of arguing and some of it probably was childish.  Thanks for being so bold!

Hi Katy!   Okay okay, I'll play nice!   Actually, I like it when people can express themselves, even the whiny, gripes...it spurs some good discussion.  I get bored, frankly, when we are clinical about this and giving cyber hugs and singing *** Ba-Ya. Sure, that Merry Sunshine stuff is good, too and certainly has its place.  Just sayin' i appreciate the balance.  If we keep the *yo mama* stuff out, that's good. All else is fair! Hey, how's about that beer in Chi-town in a couple weeks????  I'll pm you with my particulars.

Neecee,  I love that stuff too, but I feel like we keep having the same arguement with the same people, getting the same results.  I get the point.  I'm not asking to be swayed.  I like hearing the other side too.  I love a good ethical debate.  But it seems more like a "my side is best, no my side is best" conversation between kids than a reasoned discussion on a given topic.   By the way, you better not be talking **** about my momma! Lol!  I'll pm you back!

Your momma! (In Philly, that's "Yo Mama!")

Oh no you didn't.  Alright Shari, now I have to bring out the can of woop ass!    How come there's no kung foo kicking smiley?  That's what I really wanted! We should start a your momma thread!  Although I have a feeling I'm not nearly as good with the quick witty comebacks as you would be.