Chris Needs Our Help

Denise:  I don't think it's your place to tell anyone that they need a spiritually based program. Personally, I find a lot about 12 step programs patently offensive, so for me, it obviously would have failed. Spirituality is a matter of individual choice.  God didn't remove MY food based obsession: neither did I, but I am gaining on it daily-- it's completely possible. Your way is not the only way.

Chris -- you have all these women willing to help you in any way we can.  You've got all ages, sizes, shapes, ethnicities -- you name it we've got it.  What can we do to help?

Thanks for posting this Tali.  I responded to the post Chris originally posted so he will get my response.

Chris you will be hearing from me tonight! And don't be alarmed from my ******** call girl type voice haha. Atleast that is what everyone says I should be a ******** operator....so we will talk, and try and get you out of the dessert! :)

Oh man, now I'm definitely looking forward to that phone call!!

My phone never rang babe...    rejected again!!  Waahh!! hehehe   I sure hope you have a good reason missy!

I do actually! Read your messages!

"What worked for you in the past?  Can you start that again or find something else that will help?  Are you still walking with your wife daily or almost daily?  Hey, didn't you say you're competitive?  We started a new challenge here.  Maybe you should join us?." What worked for me in the past was just gradually decreasing my food intake and the over time making healthier choices. I was down to about 1600-1800 calories a day and it was working great. Additionally I walked about 3-4 times a week. I'm no longer walking at all.  I have no desire to. In fact, the long walk to and from work irritates the crap out of me now.  Why??? too hot?? I sweat too much???? I don't know.. because neither of those things bothered me while I was losing weight.  I did join the new challenge with 35 lbs as my goal. I know it's acheivable, I just don't know if it's achievable for me... "You haven't lost the war, just one little skirmish.  Look to the future and winning the war.  WLS isn't the easy way out.  Many people don't get a handle on their eating problems and find that in the end they gain back the weight because of it.  WLS is just a tool and one that needs to be used correctly.  So getting a handle on your eating issues now is very important." See, I've lost all of the skirmishes and battles. This is another one I've lost. I've been battling obesity my whole friggin entire life and I have yet to win anything. I've been fighting back since at least 13. Trying various diets and what not to beat this demon. Nothing works... The war is never over I guess. Maybe that's another way to look at it.  Or maybe each day is a battle and I can either win for the day or lose for that day.  One day at a time right?   I know WLS isn't the easy way out and I also know it's not a fix-all. It will fail me, if I fail it. However, I feel that it will HELP me to get a handle on my eating issues. I don't expect it to stop me from ever overeating again but I do know it will help me to stop the overeating short term so I can focus on what is really wrong with me emotionally or otherwise. There is something wrong with me and I probably SHOULD see a therapist. The fact that I can't pinpoint the underlying problem is evidence enough that I need third party assistance. Why do I overeat?  I can only think of so many, perhaps some of you can help me to list the reasons that I may over eat? - Foods tastes SOOOOOOOO good - Eating passes time and cures boredom - Something inside me yells at me to eat; eating shuts it up, for a little while. - It's a social event - It's a hobby - It's easy to do, doesn't require a lot of movement. - When my belly is not full I feel empty, or alone... (When it's full I feel guilty..) - Everyone else I see eats a lot of food and they're not fat, why can't I????

 

Okay Chris, it sounds to me like you're smack dab in the middle of a pity party.  As Cher said in that movie -- SNAP OUT OF IT!! If you've decided that WLS is what you need to succeed, then start making some moves to pursue it.  If you think that you need some professional psychological assistance to help work through any issues you may have that cause you to overeat, then you need to pursue that too.  Just sitting around, eating and feeling sorry for yourself is not not acceptable.  Come up with a plan man and follow through with it. We're here to help and support you in anyway we can but you have the ultimate responsibility.

Actually, I kinda sorda have come up with a plan.  Right now I have this really crappy insurance so I'm holding off on going to see the doctor about it all. I am thinking of getting my own insurance and in order to keep costs down, and get approved for WLS, I don't want to start pursuing WLS until I have secured the insurance. Part of the questions on the form asks if you have been advised to have WLS or are pursuing it in the next 6 months.  Answering yes to this question will undoubtedly get you higher rates, so I say.. "NOooo, I mean, I might..but I haven't made my mind up to do that yet.." ;)  The plan I'm looking at does cover WLS if it is medically neccessary..(which it is.. 46 bmi with co-morbs..) The problem I am having is if I get this insurance I have to cancel my current plan. First of all, I don't know if I even can cancel it.  Secondly that means it will drop my wife's insurance thus forcing me to put her on the new plan.  Here's where it gets complicated.  She just recently quit smoking (because of the insurance issues..) but they require you to be quit for 12 months. She is also on anti-anxiety meds and is now having issues with acid reflux.  All three of those mean a huge $$$$$ increase in your premium.  So, that being said I'm trying to get her to fill out the paper work so we can at least see what they say about it. If it's going to be less than $350 or so a month then I will take it. Otherwise.. my back up plan is to wait until I get hired on permanent (i'm a contractor) at my current job. At that time I'll have much better insurance through my employer. I'm not sure if the insurance covers WLS or not but if it does, all the better if not.. There's plan C.. I will self-pay.  I am certain I can get financed for whatever amount I need but what I'm not certaina bout is how much I want to spend..   So once I get all of the financial and insurance crap out of the way I will start seeing my doctor about WLS and start the process. He's already mentioned it in the past to me so I know he'll help me with it.   Now, another real problem with all of the above is my wife is highly against me getting RNY. She thinks I'm going to die from it.  While there is a chance I could die it is a small chance. She likes the lap-band because the chances of death are slightly less. She also likes the fact that it can be reversed. I believe I've made up my mind about WLS.  I would hate to get the lap-band and it fail and then turn around and need RNY. And I would get RNY because I've made my mind up that I need the surgery to help me get to a sustainable weight. I can't figure out how to get it through her head that if I don't get the weight off I'm going to die before I hit the retirement age anyway. Nor can she understand my thought process behind going with RNY.  So..  what I figure about this dilemma is I will talk to my physician and surgeon and get their input. Whatever they decide is the right path for me is the one I will talk.  When in doubt, pass the buck right?? :)

 

My fingers and wrists hurt now..