Chris Needs Our Help

Chris.....I tend to agree with your wife, I'm leaning towards LapBand because it is reversible, and there is no "window of opportunity".  While it is true that some have had their band removed to do RNY, it is also true that after a period of time some have had a band over RNY.  There are also those who have had to have RNY revised to DS switch or another surgery......Have you ever visited the revision board?  I suggest you check that out before making any decision.. Good Luck whatever you decide to do!

Just an aside here-- while the lap Band is technically reversible--- it's not casual, as I am sure Janina will attest to. First of all, at least in my surgeon's case, it's sewn into place. Secondly, your insurance will only pay to remove it if it is malfunctioning-- not if you have "buyer's remorse." Not trying to talk you out of the band-- just thought I would bring up a couple of  the points I was initially unaware of when I began my own WLS journey. If you do choose it, you need to know everything there is to know about how the system works. Am I right, 'nina?

I'm with Tali on this one. You'll do it when you are ready, and until then, there's nothing anyone can do or say to make it happen, but let me leave you with an inspirational message of sorts: In January of 2007, I was nearly immobile. I could not stand for more than two minutes, or walk a block without crying, heaving, or throwing up. My periods were out of control, as were my moods as excess estrogen ravaged my system. I would regularly eat large meals, and then go into a fugue state where i thought I would pass out due to the huge surges of sugar in my bloodstream. I fell asleep while driving due to sleep apnea. I could no longer shop in any store, because my size had finally surpassed what anyone would carry. I had huge weeping patches or red rashy swamp-rot in the folds of my body. I had supprative, weepy sores that oozed pus under my arms, and continously filled with fluid. I sweated myself sick and nearly passed out in a classroom that routinely hit 90 degrees in the warm months. I felt sick, and wanted to die. It's now July of the same year. I regularly walk over a mile, use a recumbent bike, swim over an hour, walk through flea markets, shop, see museums. The difference wasn't a 12 step program predicated on whether some munifecnt being would catch me if I fall, because in the end, I have-- and need to take-- full responsibility for my lot in this life. It wasn't surgery-- because I wasn't sure that was going to happen for me. It wasn't at anyone else's urging. I made the necessary changes because I knew I was in crisis. Period. I was dying. You have three choices. You can stay fat, get fatter, and hope like hell that you're of the minority of people that don't suffer any co-morbidities-- because some people say they do not. You can wait until you hit your own crisis point-- while that's been very effecrtive, I still have to spend a lot of energy cleaning up injuries and issues I created in my past. Or you can start moving towards your goals now.  I'm not in any position to tell you which way to go on that. I had to cause myself irreparable harm before I could do what I needed to do. But those are the choices you have to deal with now.  It's not all or nothing. Maybe your food addiction can't be handled now because of other more urgent matters in your psyche? Seek help for those, and deal with food when you are ready. Maybe you're not ready to give up the solace food is giving you for now? Increase your exercise, and keep your mobility. There are a million ways to go, but make a mindful choice-- and move toward the goals that will serve you best for now. I wish you tremendous luck.

okay i just walked in the door after driving like 20 hrs since monday. i passed through kannapolis both ways on my trip to clemson and thought of you both times.  i literally just walked in the door so i don't have the time or energy do go through all these posts so i'm just writing this from the top of my head.  sorry if its all been said. first you NEED to step out of this shame spiral. what are you talking about you always failed? clearly you did not fail at weight loss. you were successful and i think that scared you. since i've "met" you - you have been pretty convinced that WLS is the answer for you and the way you want to go and would have it right now if someone said he'd do it on you know. if you are successful, people have expectations of you and who wants that? but what if you are wrong and you really can do this without surgery? what would that mean? guilt and shame for not doing it 10 years ago? there are just as many cons to losing weight as there are pros. there are so many issues involved in weight that we don't even know about - losing weight changing your identity and who you are and that is damn scary. like it or not, we ALL use our weight in complicated ways both positive and negative. you will NEVER not be able to think about food and dieting. it will be even  more intense if you have WLS because you could die if you don't do the right things. so get over that.  look at all these reasons you listed and find some other way to meet these needs.taste is not the reason you eat. and seriously - after 10 wings, you are not eating them because they taste good anymore.  find other ways to socialize. find other hobbies and ways to pass the time. eating is not a hobby. try some new activities - swimming, pilates, whatever. 

i had BIG issues with the unfairness of it all. why can all my size 2 friends eat whatever the heck they want and i can't? well guess what - that is the hand that we all have been dealt. we cannot change genetics and a propensity to gain weight. again, you just have to get over it. what does being angry and upset about the unfairness get you? is it making you feel better about your situation? probably not. is it making you fatter, unhealthier? probably. i know we have discussed this a number of times but i really think you are at a critical point and it is time to bring in some professional mental health help. not only for your "addiction" but to deal with this guilt, anger, shame, jealousy of successful people (i.e. - bert). as you said, when you are not full you feel empty and sad. that will not go away with WLS or with dieting or anything else. you need to address it directly. losing weight, however you do it, will not "fix" these problems or "fix" your life. you are right  - you cannot do this by yourself. WLS is a tool blah blah blah. but so are therapists, nutritionists, doctors, supportive people - only those don't require a long waiting period of waiting or rearranging of you insides.  every day is a battle. and it ALWAYS will be, even if you have WLS and are 150 lbs. every minute of every day you have a CHOICE. you said you're pretty sure you'll have x number of wings etc. you need to acknowledge that you are making that CHOICE. you could CHOOSE to have 10 instead of 15. you can choose to have grilled chicken instead of "country style" chicken. put yourself in a fail safe environment. start bringing your lunch, cooking for yourself, choosing to go to healthier places when you go out with co-workers. there are any number of ways to intervene in the cycle. you need to take responsibility - accept that you are not perfect, have stumbled and get over it. get your ass off the couch and walk to your mailbox. if you really want this, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes. sorry i know this is harsh, but you are such a good, young guy who has a lot going for him, a beautiful wife and all the potential to have the amazing life that you deserve. i know you can do you. now you just need to believe that you can do it.

Chris,  I know you live in the same vicinity as as Dale Earnhardt, JR so I could justify jumping on a plane and stopping by to kick you in the butt to get you going again! haha j/k of cource, but seriously I know for me, I fell into the same rut, so I decided that maybe I would switch up my routine a bit. I added walking and I change my routine frequently, I'm swimming laps and I changed up the cardio routine at the gym - do 20 min of elliptical, 20 min of stairclimber, 20 min bike, etc...  It kind of remotivated me and got me out of the rut of the same ol workout everytime.   Do you journal? I know that if I can type out my frustrations through my online journal, it helps. My hubby gets tired of hearing me complain as well, so I just shout through my writing. It seems to help. Just think of this as a speed bump in your road to weight loss.... you can do it, you've already lost over 30 lbs!!!!  

In ANY way?????????  Lol, just kidding!    I'm not sure there is much you can do other than just talk me through it all.  I've been reluctant to post for a while and I'm not even sure why I've felt like that. Perhaps its because I felt distant from all of you. You all are doing so well and I'm failing miserably. Being like that makes a person feel unworthy to be around those who are successful.  Stupid as it sounds, it's still the truth. 

I think that's a problem for a lot of us.  We're all over this board when things are going well, but when we hit the skids, we're nowhere to be found.

Why is that though?? We know that this place helps us through thick and thin.. Perhaps we do this because we don't really want help...at least not at that time??   Tops has a nice pledge, kinda corny but nice, that I should really take to heart and make it a daily affirmation. This really is mostly emotions that the majority of us deal with, not food itself..  There are other things of course, such as genetics, that make it worse on us.. but let's admit.. we do overeat and do it much more than your average skinny person. TOPS PLEDGE  I am an intelligent person. I will control my emotions, not let my emotions control me. Every time I am tempted to use food to satisfy my  frustrated desires, build up my injured ego or dull my senses, I will remember, even though I overeat in private,  My excess poundage is there for all the world to see. I Will Take Off Pounds Sensibly.

Sounds like you really enjoy TOPS and are getting a lot out of it, so when is your next meeting???

It's every Tuesday but I haven't been there in at least a month if not more..