My second fill

You know what...I actually agree with Shari on this gym thing.  Because I used to go to the gym ALL the time. I would just pop in my little ear phone thingy's and listen to some good music and work my ass off...I would do 20 minutes on ellipitical and 30 minutes on treadmill, and for some reason I wouldn't care about the other people. I mean hello this is me we're talking about I have major confidence issues! But at the gym I was in my own world, and you actually have the chance to go at lunch, I always went at like 9pm when most the people were gone. :) But my gym is 15 minutes away from me, so I can't go at lunch. Also, if you decide to walk, walk later in the day like Shari said, not so many people. If I was there we'd do it together! Because I always like having someone do it with me. SO just go out and do it girly I know you can. :) Hang in there, soon everything will be going how you want it.

Janina: First relax.....! You are killing it with the asterisks! Don't be so hard on yourself.. We are going to have good days, bad days, and ok days. This is life! Don't make it any harder than what is has to be. That mental stress will kill you, and make you do things you'll regret.  Have you discussed your frustrations with the doctor? What has he said? I would suggest telling him give you all or nothing.... perhaps requesting full restriction to be given in your next appointment? Also, there is probably a small number of people on the band that are losing weight without making healthy choices.. Your strength is working for you! This is a key piece of the equation you have that many have not learned and committed to yet.... KEEP IT! Sometimes when I am angry about anything including weight, I will wal****il it hurts... I don't know how to explain it.. It's like my mind against my body.  Maybe you should try this. I am too tired to think about anything afterwards.. Maybe you can use some of your frustrations as a catalyst to exercise. PUUUSSSSSSSSSS****! That's what I always tell myself. I'm not going to tell you to hang in there... but I will tell you don't hang yourself.   -Bud

Problem with asking for full restriction is that if I'm too restricted, I might only be able to keep down liquids, or even slip my band, so I can't ask for number 10 on the restriction scale.  It has to be gradual, and I understand that bullsh*t but it's been three months for me as of today and I'm only down 20-something pounds.  I could have done that on my own, if not better, when I was on atkins.

GRRRR

Awww Janina, I'm so sorry you are enduring this frustration! Yikes!  I too, like Shari was a confirmed "Bandster", on message boards, got tons of support ect... Then I found OH, and somehow went on the "Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy" forum. It was actually a lady who had a bypass who steered me towards a more "permanant" type surgery.  She said " You do it, and its done" No fills, ect...Anyway, I'm taking a break for the summer, seeing how I do on healthy eating.  I know on Non-Band forums I always hear people refer to the Band as a"forced diet", so I get your frustration!  I know on the VSG forum there are many Band revisions to VSG.  I hope I don't get flamed here, but for some folks the Band is a longer, more difficult process.  I wish you only the best as you go through all this!   

I'm feeling it, bad.  I'm feeling how this is just a forced diet.  I'm feeling how non-responsive this can be.  I can see how people who get lap-bands would want to get a different surgery as a revision.  I know I'm not the worst case scenario; I know there are bandsters that are doing worse than I am.  But I am 331 pounds and I'm 28 years old and I am running out of my youth fast.  If I keep this sh*t up (ie: my fatness), I'm going to be single for the rest of my life, because I'm too self conscious to commit to a marriage.  My damn boyfriend talks about marriage with me like he's the woman and I tiptoe around the subject as though he didn't bring it up because I am too worried that I won't be sufficient enough to keep a man interested in me for life.  I need a god damn therapist.  

Now Janina,  I have to say this to you sister.... It sounds like you have a man that loves you....Do not let your weight or anything else make you reject love and effection... We all need that regardless.... Now if this man loves you and you love him... make him apart of your support system... get him in the gym, going for walks or whatever with you....  let him know where you are at and how you feel.. sometimes men need to be told directly rather indirectly what you need from them (hope I do not get flamed for saying that by any men) Now if you do not feel the same about him... let him know and just focus on you... but in that focus on you.. do the things that you need to do to feel better about yourself and be truly happy..... Girl... you do not need a therapist....  what I gave was free of charge and comes with a hug... Therapist do not give hugs!!!! ((((((BIG OLE HUG))))))

"If I keep this sh*t up (ie: my fatness), I'm going to be single for the rest of my life, because I'm too self conscious to commit to a marriage." Janina, the Lap Band doesn't fix that, and you know that. What attracts people, and retains them, is confidence. Confidence, in part, comes from pride in your own accomplishments. Set yourself some goals, and strike out in a direction that appeals to you-- and get whatever assistance you need to help you understand your value. It's crucial.

That absolutely SUCKS Janina.   You have every right to be frustrated with the band, but by the same token you know why you chose it.  The complications from the RNY compared to the band and that whole rerouting of the intestines is pretty extreme.  I can see why you chose what you did.  Keeping my fingers crossed that the third fill will give you the resistance you need. Now as to those rude people staring while you are at the gym...JERKS.  Have you thought about trying Curves?  I haven't joined yet, but might down the road.  You shouldn't have to feel bad when going to exercise.  For me, I found I really like the Leslie Sansone walking away the pound DVD's.  It's a great workout in the privacy of my own home.  In the next couple of weeks, paycheck permitting, I'm planning on purchasing punch cards to the community pool.  That way I can go do some water walking.  Do you have a community pool where you could get an exercise in?  Just a thought. Melinda

Yeah, I have one of her DVD's at home, I just honestly forget that I have it.  I could go to the gym on my lunch break, like Diva does too, but I don't go.  Maybe I should do that. I don't know if I have a community pool, but my gym has a pool in it.  I just don't go.  :( I'm so pathetic I want to smack myself.

Awwwwwwwwwwwww Janina, I'm sending lots of hugs your way.   You are NOT pathetic, so stop beating yourself up.  Diva has a great idea on working out on your lunch hour.  Maybe look into a community pool, or dang it, use the pool at your gym.  Get your cute plumpy self (soon to be your skinny self) in that pool and whoever doesn't like it doesn't have to stay.  For me, I'm going to get into my bathing suit and who cares what people think.  I gotta do it for ME, just as you have to find some type of exercise you like for YOU. Now no more beating yourself up about it.