Definitely a contemplative post!

I'm just putting today's thoughts down in writing.... Today's accomplishments will start with the laundry (which I started 1/2 hour ago at 5:00am). My Nephew and family wil sleep over tomorrow night so the kids will wake up to Easter here on Sunday with family.  We don't have a church to go to and we're not taking a 10 hour ride to go to our old church, but the thoughts wil be with us and we'll take the time to go over the story with the chidren... at least I hope their parents will allow it.  Good Friday.. it doesn't get any bigger than this!  I'll fill my day with praise music... it helps me to stay in continual prayer and I cannot afford to be out of it today. I went to the gym last night around 7:30 to get more cardio in and Andrew's gf came up to me and said "Andrew asked me if I noticed how sexy you look  tonight".  SEXY!  Why.. cause I'm not freshly rolled out of bed like I am first thing in the morning?  That was sweet of him to try and make this old lady feel good if for at least a moment.  I don't care.. I wore my nike shorts last night (cause my danskins HAD to go into the laundry .. .lol and I wasn't going to let that stop me once again.  Shorts are what i had and shorts are what I wore and I didn't care what anyone thought (ok... I cared.... but I wanted the cardio more than I cared who would be looking at my flubby legs).  Now if I could get up those same guts to get in the pool I'll be moving right along. SHARI.. as a side note.. I DID at least look through  the bathing suits in Wallyworld.... looking for the most modest ones.  Yes... you're right.... if I think people are looking longer than 10 seconds than I'm just thinking too much of myself.  If they are laughing.. that's just THEIR OWN poor character showing through. I woke up at 231 today and hit 40 mg of lasix and already 32 oz of water.. let's just see where that will take me. I'd like to work out upstairs again, but i don't know if that's going to happen two days in a row.  I began my morning with 2 bayer aspirin...so.. let's see if I can do the do.  I really think doing the interval training on the treadmill is helping.  To be honest.. I'm kinda excited being able to walk like this again.  It's feels so GOoooooooooood to move my legs like this once more. I definitely overate yesterday, and I know it is out of frustration.  I ended up rolling up a couple of pieces of roast beast with a piece of provolone in the middle and did the same with turkey in the middle of the night.  I'm afraid to add up all of those calories.  Folks, I HAD to work off something though.... it was almost 2 hours of interval cardio throughout the day and a solid hour of weight training besides the shopping. Today the house has got to be cleaned to within in an inch of it's life cause the little ones have to sleep in my room tomorrow night so the easter bunny can sneak out leaving bunny tracks and half eaten carrots and presents on the table.  I am determined to give those kids a fun Holiday with an easter egg hunt around the cleared acreage as well.  It's unfortunate, but their parents didn't plan anything for them again this year.. but we're doing the whole nine yards, photos, dyed eggs, hunt, baskets, a nice ham for dinner (except for me.. I'm putting a small bird in the crockpot for less carbs).  I have selections from the bible to be read before prayer and included age appropriate books in their baskets.  It'll be worth it and I'm sure not only God wil be smiling down but also my brother who would want his grandbabies to have a wonderful day!   For those who are so inclined.. please pray that I find a church to go to for a "Sonrise" service on Sunday.. preferably a Disciples of Christ church (there seems to be a Baptist church on every corner around here and I don't quite understand what goes on there). I pray that all of you have a very blessed day today ... when I think of all I've with which  been blessed, I hang my head in shame over my rants..    With love, sisters and brothers! Lori

Lori...I feel peace and tranquility settling in on you already today.  A good day for reflection and to realize our tribulations are small and our blessings huge. I bring out my Easter hymn CD and will probably be playing it loud and strong and singing along all weekend as I too prepare for my family being here on Sunday after church.  I LOVE the Easter hymns and get very upset if they don't play my favorites on Sunday, so bought my own CD and can belt them out to my heart's content. We do the plastic Easter egg hunt here too...indoors if the weather doesn't cooperate and try to find cute things age appropriate with a little candy thrown in here and there (my daughter doesn't like the kids having too much candy).  I sent my new granddaughter a furry bunny and a darling little book, "What is Easter"....that says it's not all about the bunnies and flowers and candy, but tells the real story in little one's language.  My DIL was reading it to her last night when she called to say she got it.  Also bought one for my 2 year old GS. I'll go to church tonight....love the Good Friday service...mostly in the dark, with no one speaking as we all file out and do a lot of reflection there in the quiet.  Supposed to be a sunny (but cold) weekend here and looking forward to the joy of Easter morning and the warmth of having my family around me on such a glorious day. Hooray for you considering those bathing suits!!  Have a blessed weekend.....Sherrie

Rant away, my sister! It's okay...we ARE human last time I checked, and that's what we do here, reach out and try to lift the folks who need it, and share personal experience.   It is the best kind - input from people who might be able to look at your "stuff" more objectively.  Sometimes people in 3D are too close to a situation, and allow us to be whinier or bossier or wimpier or or...get my drift?  We have patterns with 3D people that get in the way of true objectivity. Hey, you might need a little more food on heavier work out days.  That is what I was told this week, too as the scale went UP a pound - exactly the opposite for a good workout week and careful caloric intake. I tell ya, our bodies are mysteries.  Mya peace b with you from here forward!  DH and I are going to the coast this weekend, I will commune with God in the Redwoods!

"Hey, you might need a little more food on heavier work out days.  That is what I was told this week, too as the scale went UP a pound - exactly the opposite for a good workout week and careful caloric intake. I tell ya, our bodies are mysteries. " Reason this happens is muscles retain water to build and repair, so if you do any weights, you might see the scale go up as much as 3 pounds.  And in general, if you're working out heavier than usual, you need to correspondingly eat more.  You cant drive a car without gas, or fuel a workout on too little....  Remember, 300-500 calorie deficit only from the point of eating above your BMR and plus your activity caloric expenditure.  OTherwise, the body will either hold on to what it's got or start cannibalizing muscle.  And that you don't want to have happen.

Thanks, Jerz.  It is scary to eat more for me, that's all. Really scary.  I've worked out all my adult life and even while eating healthier, not a lot, at 2000 cals daily, I gain.  Even in my later 30's and 40's. I hate this sometimes.  I did start my TOM yesterday....3 WEEKS late...i have been feeling bloaty and freaky, so I hope that is part of all this. I will walk the line while out of town and hoep for the best.

Hey..  I wouldn't mind seeing 1 - 3 lbs on heavier work out days.. but 13 lbs?  I can't accept that.  I started at like 230/231 this morning and I'm already up to 234. Andrew and I went out to breakfast after I worked out today....  I had to zoom home to vomit cause it made me sick.  Dunno.. don't feel so well.. think I'm gonna nap a bit.

Lori, the water gain, the vast ups and downs, the wanting to vomit...I remain concerned about you.  I really wish you'd go to some doctor (no excuses).  My biggest concern for you is organ (heart and kidney).  Honestly?  If I were in your shoes, I head to an ER so that you end up with the full specialities available to you.  Something is wrong, IMO.  I mean, I'd like to think not, but I've never heard of it like this. I mean up 4lbs today I can understand as I can be 2-3lbs different morning to pm, but 13 over days?   Please google water gain and heart, JIC. Be safe and healthy.

I second that emotion, Jerz! Lori, you NEED medical intervention here. This is not typical water gain. My whiny 1-4# is more like that type of thing.  I've said it before. I can imagine you are scared, but no matter, get in there and take care of yourself.  It is not all about you, of course - your family loves you and wants you whole.

I'm agreeing with Jerz and Neecee here....feel like we're ganging up on you?  If the only way you can get into see a doctor is through the ER...I'd take that route.  I'm very concerned too....not normal to have that big of fluid gains and not a good idea to be playing with your Lasix dosages...that's a powerful drug. We care...only reason we're bugging you! When you go (if you go) tell them you don't have a PCP and have them give you a referral to one plus whatever specialist they feel you need. You are doing all the right things and trying so hard...just hate to see you so frustrated with these gains.

Thanks Sherrie.. I'm not disputing the need for care.. and previously I posted that I did make a trip to the E.R. after a 15 lb gain in 2 days.  Didn't accomplish anything.. but I have another appt with the rheumatologist at the end of the month. I'm sorry for crabbing about it.. I didn't mean to worry anyone.. I'm just fine.. really.. just angry with the scale... that's all.  Good news....  I dropped down to 229... so it might be coming back off. EVEN MORE GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  HE'S ALIVE!  IT'S EASTER....  and I REALLY wish I was back at First Christian for the Sonrise service in the garden.  My brother's grandbabies will be here in a little while to get it all rolling .. and maybe my mother's memorial garden (which is blooming beautifully) will make for a nice place for prayer and worship tomorrow morning.   I just LOVE this place...   sorry.. I just get so happy about Jesus  lol... I guess it's like.. the more of a sinner a person is.... the more greatful they are for their salvation... and darlin'.. I could write a BOOK on sin!  Fortunately, my debt was paid in full... God Bless you all...   I wish you all the joy the Spirit brings as we join together in our hearts and minds to celebrate our Lord!