Totally Stressing Returning to Work!

Hi everyone, I know i already brought this issue up but i am now 4 days from returning offically back to work full time and i am really feeling funny about it. I know its a great opportunity for me, its a great position but the mommy in me is stressing so bad. I have been lucky enough to spend the last year and a half home with them and it has been great. I am feeling like a totally horrible mother for going back. The older ones it does not seem to bother as much but the babies i dont know about. THe older ones just look at this as a way for mommy to have more money and buy them things lol. I just feel like i am abandoning them. I just need the other mommies here that work full time to tell me that everything will be fine. That my kids wont hate me and that i am doing the best thing for me and them. Thanks again forlistening. LisaMarie

Oh Sweetie, I totally sympathize! It's a very difficult transition. When my youngest was 2, I started back to school for nursing. I felt like the worst person on the face of the earth! Here's what I think, though: You will all go through a period of transition. You're kids will see you as a functional, intregral part of the world. You are still their mommy and continue to kiss their boo-boos, talk to them when someone is a bully, read to them at night, know just what to put in their lunch box, and all the other little things that only mommies are the best at. It also gives your husband a chance to build his nuturing muscles, and I think that's invaluable. There are so many kids whose dad's don't know how to, or want to be bothered with nurturing. Just keep showing them your love, everybody will adjust. My youngest is now totally into my job, and all things medical and interrogates me every day about every detail of my work. He says he wants to be a nurse or doc when he grows up! BTW, I was watching the Discovery Health Channel last night and there was a report on how working mothers are actually healthier than stay at home moms! I guess there's a study to support every walk of life!!! You'll do great. Being nervous is normal. It's the flip side of being excited!! Hugs and kisses, Amy

Amy thank you so much. Your words make a lot of sense and mean so much to me. I know they will be fine home with their dad, its just me. I guess i will just have to try it and see how it all works out. I can always quit right...That is what is good about nursing, always something else waiting we are needed so badly. Thank you again. LisaMarie ps how are you feeling??

Without a doubt your probably the greatest mom ever! Stop beating yourself up! Your motherly instinct is telling you to stay home and obviously tearing you in two directions. Have no doubt it will work out for you and your kiddies and when the cash flow increases look at all the new adventures you can now afford to do with your children! I know I'm not a mom giving you advice but you have always supported me and I compelled to do the same for you! Just avoid the vending machines at work and bring lots of strawberries kido! Good Luck Kenny

Thanks Kenny....the little ones are already talking about disney next year! Thanks for your support. I am just going to have to go for it and see what happens. LisaMarie

Hi LisaMarie, I don't think you are a horrible mother. I think you are doing a good thing especially leaving the kids with their dad. Although I have clingy boys(is that a boy thing to cling to their moms?) they adjusted ok. I'll put it to you this way, I don't feel it harmed them in the long run. The older one didn't like it on the nights I'd go to work, but I think he enjoyed seeing the fruits of the work-lol, because now that I'm not working he's complaining(he spoiled rotten) My older son is really close to my husband too, so I felt totally confident with the kids being in his hands. I think you will do great! Kristine

Thanks Kristine. I know in the long run its the best for all of us...just the initial seperation is going to be hard. I think harder for me then them, they will be fine they love being with daddy lol....Thanks again for your support. LisaMarie

Hi Lisa M Don't worrie so much! everything wii work out fine it's just that it's a new thing for you and the kids when you get used to the new job you'll feel so much better. I think it's great that you got such a great job! i think that all working moms struggle over the home and work thing and i think that at first it will be hard to leave the kids but i know it will get better! good luck nancy

I think you already know that this is going to be more upsetting to you than to your kids. They probably haven't given it a second thought except now they'll probably get to go to Disney next year and the fact that your husband is going to be with them doesn't hurt either. Sounds like they've already gotten used to the idea. Now we just have to get you used to it. I'm bet after the first day, you'll be just fine. Good luck!! Joanne

Hi LisaMarie, I too stayed home with my 2 girls when they were little. But I had been excepted in a position in a factory that required me to work shifts. It was very hard to leave them, but I was lucky enough to have family here for them to stay with while I was working. They adjusted to it eventually. And they were just fine. They are all grown up now, my baby is graduating next weekend. And will be going to college in the fall. It all works out. Just cherish the time you do have with them, not the quantity but the quality. That is what really matters. Good luck in your new job I hope it is all you hoped for. Hugs, Shannon