OT: A lady called me fat today

Screw her, the small minded b*tch. To be where you are 4 years out is testament to your strength and discipline. I know she probably sounds like the destructive voices of your past or in your head, but don't let her give them one ounce of your time or power.

Hey My Beautiful friend

I am just reading this now. I haven't been on line this week-end. What a ***** she is. I can't believe why someone would call YOU fat. She has obviously lost her marbles .
You have come so far and look awesome. Don't let this get you down.
I know that you were upset that Joe stayede. I'm sure he is home by now and you have worked things out.
You have to make him understand and he has to realize that he should support you.

Love ya

Hugs  

  That stupid ***** is obviously jealous of you, but unfortunaly since you know her, not sure how long you have known her for but she knew EXACTLY where to hit!  She doesn't think your fat but she knew that if she said that exact statement it would hit you where it hurt. Even though you know your thin and beautiful now, its always in the back of your head that we were once fat and the old hurt sometimes comes to the surface. So don't give her the satisfaction of any reaction at all. She is sitting back probably laughing knowing that that little statement could really hurt you. She ain't worth wasting one second worrying about.
Tracy

I think she meant "phat" not Fat.

Karen, I haven't met you, but having been reading your posts over the past few months and you seem to be a nice person, and with the amount of weight that've you lost to get to where you are now, I want to be like you when I grow up, I too have been called fat in the past, my comeback was "and you're ugly , what's your point", this is a sensitive issue for us, but you know you're not fat, you ware what's considered to be "normal" so chin up, take back you power, you will win round two.

The BF however is another matter, he deserves a smack upside the head for not leaving with you, but you know how smart they are, he probably didn't see anything wrong with what she said

There are people in this world who are really good at guessing other people's insecurities.  She guessed yours.

Here's the thing - you can't control what other people say - just how you react to it.  What she said doesn't matter if you don't give it power.  You know you're thin.  You know she's a *****  You've learned not to trust her or call her a friend.  That's all.

Personally, I need closure on situations like this.  If it was me, I'd email her and let her know that you think she's a worthless human being and that you never want her to speak to you again.  

Now -as for the BF.  What happened there?  Did you tell him you were leaving and he refused to go?  Or did you just leave? 

My husband told me on this vacation that he thinks we speak a different language.  What I think is perfectly clear, he doesn't understand (and vice versa).  Make sure he clearly understands how hurtful this comment was (and that probably means coming clean about WLS), and how doubly hurtful it was that he didn't support you and come with you.  

I'd also let him know that this is a relationship breaker.  Someone who cares for you (and really understands why this was upsetting), will feel terrible for not supporting you and leaving with you (once he gets it).  If he can't/won't, he's probably not worth it. 

KAREN I'M SO SORRY YOU HAD TO MEET UP WITH SOMEONE SO MEAN . I KNOW FROM READING ALL YOUR IMPUTS OVER MY TIME ONTHIS WEBSITE THAT YOU ARE BY FAR ONE OF THE NICEST PEOPLE I'VE COME ACROSS SINCE MY SURGERY . YOU ALWAYS RESPONED TO ME WHEN I NEEDED ADVICE AND IT HELPED WHEN I NEEDED IT . TO HELL WITH HER YOU ARE BY FAR THE BETTER PERSON I CAN TELL BY ALL THE PEOPLE WRITING TO YOU FOR SUPPORT . I'LL BE THINKING ABOUT YOU AND HOPE YOU GET PASS THESE EVIL COMMENTS .THAT WOMAN DOESN'T DESERVE TO BREATHE THE SAME AIR YOU DO SHE JUST POLLUTES IT .GOOD LUCK I HOPE YOU CAN MOVE ON .....ROGER 

Karen, I so feel for you and understand how you feel. At my last job I used to get called horrible names by customers who were disatisfied for one reason or another that usually had nothing at all to do with me but I'd get called a "fat, ugly *****", always had to have the word "FAT" inserted in any insult and as much as I told myself they didn't matter to me it still threw me for a loop being called that, every time.

I think you were probably more shocked by her behaviour than hurt but the hurt comes more from your bf not being "protective" of you. I can understand that totally and would be devastated but when he does get home talk to him about it and make sure he understand how you feel. Some men are pretty dense about women's feelings even when it seems so obvious they should show they care or are in our corner.

I would have looked at that woman when she made that comment and said quite bluntly, "wow, you're quite the ***** eh?" Then I would have told her, "It takes a seriously insecure and threatened person to make a comment like that about another human being, to their face!" She obviously feels you are some kind of threat to her to make a comment like that.

Man, I have a slew of comebacks I could come up with for her but the moment is over. Have a good cry if you need to (you might have already done that) and pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and reassure yourself that not only are you a better person than she is but that you are not what she said about you. We all love you here, I hope you'd rather believe our opinions of you than hers.

I hope things go well when your bf gets home. I also hope he has a good explanation and that he can also reassure you that you are not fat!

Wow what a *****!  I think I will always have that "inner fat girl" mentality and be sensitive to that type of comment.

Sorry you had to hear that ridiculus comment and I hope BF manages to make it up to you!

Hugs!

 Funny thing Karen, I just happen to have an extra can of whoop ass in my back pocket. I will be running to N.S. to pick up Deb but she and I will be back A.S.A.P. to deal with this issue! I promise! I am always will to open a can of whoop ass on someone to defend a friend!

All joking aside, YOU ARE A (SKINNY)WONDERFUL, GORGEOUS, KIND, (SKINNY), NO-ASSED, SWEET (SKINNY) PERSON!

Seriously, you are one of the most supportive people on here and to know that someone said something like that to you hurts. To be so unkind, unthinking and downright nasty, she must be one heck of a miserable person. I almost feel sorry for people like that. They must be living such a nasty life to feel the need to hurt another person such as she did. Especially someone as special and caring as you!

Take care of yourself, girl!
Jen

P.S. AL'RIGHT POSSE, LET'S RIDE!