That guilt is natural. When my father died, i was working night shift. I had been planning to visit him on the day he passed, but decided against it because i was just so tired. When my mom called me at work to say he was gone, i felt so terrible. However, my father knew i loved him, i told him every time i saw him, and he knew how much he meant to me. That moment that i "should have" been there was only one moment in a lifetime of moments. Right now it feels like the most important moment and you missed it, but i assure you, that's not how your mom thought of it. You love her and always will. You did not disappoint her, you disappointed yourself. You'll feel better. Not today, and not tomorrow.But you will.

Hugs.

and that poem is beautiful.

Jennifer,

I have been there, lost both of my parents already, and am so very sorry that you are going through this.  My sincere sympathy.

But I have to tell you this...do not think for a single second that the last thing you did was disappoint her by not being there...think instead that the last thing she heard from you was that you loved her, and that the last thing she said to you was that she loved you in return.  What better last words can there be? 

(((Hugs)))
Lori

sorry for your loss I hope you will allow yourself some time to heal both emotionally and physically. 

Robin

 Probably the toughest thing in the world is losing your mother.  I know, I've been there too.  Like you, I didn't make it to the hospital in time.  Be kind to yourself.  You are human and have done more than you really were capable of, especially considering that you were 2 days post op!  Your mother would want you to focus on gettting healthy rather than feeling guilty.  You will make her proud! Let your mother be your inspiration to be the best you that you can be!  Time does help us heal.  God bless you!
Mary

My prayers, thoughts and condolences.
I am so sorry!
Diana

 HI Jennifer

I think everyone here said exactly what I want to say to you. Even tho we have never met, I feel like we will be good friends. You are obviously a kind, loving person who needs to know your friends are here for you. You know your mom loves you and you love your mom. Thats what  matters. Just remember that. Keep yourself as busy as you can, as everyone else says, take care of you. Your mom is with you always, she will go to the store with you, she will sit beside you. Anywhere you are she will be there, I know from experience.

If there is anything I can do, don't hesitate to call me. Take care,

Lots of hugs

Carla

So sorry to hear of your loss.  My prayers are with you and your family.

Judy

 I am so deeply sorry for your loss.  Prayers and hugs to you and your family.

Char

I am so sorry that you miss your mother. I too lost my mother and felt the guilt for going to bed and not staying up with her through her last night. One thing I hang onto is that she looked forward to the time that she could be out of the body that was causing her so much pain. She had Rhumatoid Arthritis and passed on due to complication caused by it. Death is the ultimate healing, when you get to live in that perfect spiritual body the Lord has prepared for us. So, I look to that for comfort. She can run and not be weary, walk and not faint. (Taken from scripture in Isaiah). Be Blessed.

Jennifer,

Based on your past posts and this one, you were there for her when it counted.  You risked your own bodily harm to give her comfort.

Prayers and thoughts are with you.  I am deeply sorry for your loss.


Alexa