Frustrations

I need to do a bit of venting, since no one cares why I'm feeling this way.

Bit of backstory: I live with my sister, nephew, my sisters friend and her newborn baby. My sisters boyfriend comes over all the time, as does my sisters friends baby-daddy.

I've been on Optifast for just over a week and I have my surgery next Wednesday.  I am commited to getting in all of my shakes and trying very hard not to cheat.  Since the beginning everyone brings in all kinds of foods that I love, always asking if anyone wants some, and even asking me specifically if I want some.  They all just laugh it off and say things like  "Ooops, I forgot you can't eat. Haha"
I have been really good not letting it get to me, but tonight is the last straw.  Since Christmas is coming so is all of the chocolate that follows. They all are out in the livingroom, eating chocolate, with one of the guys on their way over with milkshakes from McDonalds for everyone (except me, of course).

I've told them how mean it is for them to eat those kinds of things right in front of me, and they don't care.  Sure, they'll say sorry, but they obviously don't mean it since they repeatedly do it over and over.  Just now, when they got out the boxes of chocolates to start eating, I asked them "Do you guys really have to eat alll of those in front me of?"  Their reply was "Yeah, sure. We love chocolate!"

I couldn't take it anyone. I could start to feel my throat tightening, tears coming to my eyes, I had to get out of there and retreat to my bedroom.  I realie that the stress and anxiety I'm going through is messing with my emotions, but I really can't believe how heartless they seem to be.

Maybe I'm not looking at this right, I don't know.  I just had to vent somewhere, and obviously I'm not going to do it with them while they\re all eating chocolate.

It can be hard.  We held our family Christmas early and I was also on Optifast.  I have always been in charge of the desserts.  I continued to do it again this year and make, bake and bring the best desserts ever.  I know the feeling of holding tears back.  I did the dishes and clean-up while they all ate.  They wanted me to join them but it was too hard for me to watch them eat my favorites.  Trust me when I say the it will get easier.  We made this choice for ourselves.  You can do it.  Be proud of yourself and stick with it.  You have lots of friends here that will support you.

It's a vulnerable time for you so I totally understand how you feel.

That said though you might just have to lay low for now and stay in your room and do your own thing if it is too hard on you. I'm trying not to eat in front of hubby right now so that I don't derail him -- but I know that many people don't have a clue or can be insensitive about these things. It's a huge challenge for you but I know you can do it! You are in the home stretch and your time is coming so try to keep your eye on the prize. It's very easy to feel defeated and over emotional and your blood sugars may be a little low to boot at this time.

You are almost there Penny so do what you have to do to make yoursel not go crazy! Stay in your room, takes bubblebath, go for a walk....whatever you need to do for you to get away from their stupidity. You are in the homestretch and this journey will be the most amazing ride you'll ever take!!

You are almost there!!! I am so excited for ya! Hang in there! Hope to meet ya next week--if I can find you lol


Take care,
Dawn

Don't expect the others to bend to your requirements..you have  to remove yourself from them as you are in the minority.  Don't go into a pity party for yourself, just remove yourself from their eating marathon, tell yourself it is not good for you, and you are stronger than they think...and off you go to your room, read or watch TV if you have one in your room...or go for a walk outside ( exercise is good, right?) or go take a bubble bath, anything to get away from them and their chocolate (or whatever) which is a NO NO FOR YOU...
HANG IN THERE despite these insensitive people who will try to sabotage you all along the way, even after your surgery...Don't give in, they are NOT YOUR SUPPORT GROUP..Learn to be your own strong pillar because it sure looks like they are not going to help you after surgery when your food intake is going to be so very different!!!  BE STRONG, OR YOU WILL FAIL POST SURGERY....you will not need them, as they are bad news for your recovery and new life /new eating pattern!!!!

Glad that you were able to vent.

Optifast is the time to relearn that this journey is about YOU.  I have been on Opti for 2.5 weeks now.  Others have been eating around me, and will continue to eat around me after surgery.  However, this is my journey to health. 

I picked my daughter up one night after work (part-time at Pizza Hut), and she had an order of chicken wings with her.  They smelled sooooo good.  I was driving and asked her to move the box nearer to my nose.  I took a deep inhale and that was all I needed.  Yes they smelled marvelous, and yes she ate them once we arrived home.  However they are not on my food plan.

This week at work I handed out my Christmas cards since I will not be at work after Friday.  With the cards I gave several Quality Street chocolates and had purchased Terry`s chocolate balls for their kids.  Never touched them and never felt like eating any of them, didn`t want to disturb my path to surgery.

It has been an enlightening time for me.  To deal with this now has broken my attention to what others are eating, and wanting to eat it too.  That is not my trigger.  Now I don`t have a crystal ball, and perhaps in the future I will be more influenced.  However, this has been my AHA moment in relation to food and others.

Is there a possibility for you to live by yourself?  If not, you may want to call your centre and talk to the behaviourist about this issue.

Good luck with this.  Vent any time.

Judy

This is a challenging time for sure. While I understand what you are going through we cant expect those around us to change. Keep you eye on the goal. When I was on Opti it was Thanksgiving. I made the dinner then whole everone was eating I took the dogs for a walk.   You will make it! Just think post op you wont be hungery so even when it is in the house you wont want it. Wont be long now.

 Penny.. I am also in Guelph... when they are getting to you gimmie a call or text and we can g do something.. even just walk the mall and window shop... just get you out of that situation/enviroment... 

Hard spot to be in, but what a great opportunity for you!  Having their cruelty and insensitivity so obvious and exaggerated gives you a chance to see and think about how other people's actions etc. cross into your own space and can trip you up, seducing you into self-sabotage.  Draw your lines - they (or many other people in the world) will not respect them, but at least you will be able to see them for yourself and then control what crosses them.  Love, support, understanding - let it through.  Disrespect, ridicule and derision - let them own it and don't join in the chorus.   The world is full of ******** who get some kind of payoff  by seeing you fail.  Question for you is, are you going to beat 'em or join 'em?  Chocolate is sweet, victory is sweeter!

You won't even think twice about the Christmas food after Wednesday. Try to look forward to that!!! Good luck!