H.A.L.T
I did really well over the holidays until yesterday!!
I managed Christmas dinner OK with only one moment of panic where there were plates and plates of squares and chocolates and cookies and I tried to take one that looked like it would have the least amount of sugar in it.....it was a mound of coconut stuff. well I should have asked because it was basically pure sugar!!!!! I took a tiny bite and handed the rest of it off to someone, anyone who would take it!! I felt momentarily faint and ill....but it passed and I was OK. Great reminder that sugar...is simply a no-no. Don't do it!
Yesterday, however, I went to visit my mother's grave. I won't talk about it but it suffices to say that it was difficult.
When I got home, I started eating. It started out OK with a small Greek yogurt....a few bites of leftover chicken, then it just snowballed from there. I didn't eat anything "bad".....but I just kept eating!!! Every 20 minutes or so I was back at it....
It took me until about 7pm to realize what was going on (we got back around 3pm).....by then I was so full and sick feeling, I thought for sure I was gonna bring it all back up. Unfortunately, I didn't.
I spent the rest of the night sipping on water and decaf tea and wondering why I didn't catch it sooner.....and realizing that emotional eating is definitely NOT cured by WLS.
I feel like I have a hangover today :( Trying not to feel guilty and trying to be positive knowing that at least I recognized my behaviour and stopped it....trying that whole "be gentle on yourself" thing and thinking about ....if you were talking to a friend what would you say?.....but I still kinda feel like crap. Lots of water for me today and heading to the gym shortly.....
I decided I am going to print out a sign that says H.A.L.T! in giant letters and post it on my fridge....maybe this will help me stop the cycle before it gets out of hand.
Thanks for listening.
I managed Christmas dinner OK with only one moment of panic where there were plates and plates of squares and chocolates and cookies and I tried to take one that looked like it would have the least amount of sugar in it.....it was a mound of coconut stuff. well I should have asked because it was basically pure sugar!!!!! I took a tiny bite and handed the rest of it off to someone, anyone who would take it!! I felt momentarily faint and ill....but it passed and I was OK. Great reminder that sugar...is simply a no-no. Don't do it!
Yesterday, however, I went to visit my mother's grave. I won't talk about it but it suffices to say that it was difficult.
When I got home, I started eating. It started out OK with a small Greek yogurt....a few bites of leftover chicken, then it just snowballed from there. I didn't eat anything "bad".....but I just kept eating!!! Every 20 minutes or so I was back at it....
It took me until about 7pm to realize what was going on (we got back around 3pm).....by then I was so full and sick feeling, I thought for sure I was gonna bring it all back up. Unfortunately, I didn't.
I spent the rest of the night sipping on water and decaf tea and wondering why I didn't catch it sooner.....and realizing that emotional eating is definitely NOT cured by WLS.
I feel like I have a hangover today :( Trying not to feel guilty and trying to be positive knowing that at least I recognized my behaviour and stopped it....trying that whole "be gentle on yourself" thing and thinking about ....if you were talking to a friend what would you say?.....but I still kinda feel like crap. Lots of water for me today and heading to the gym shortly.....
I decided I am going to print out a sign that says H.A.L.T! in giant letters and post it on my fridge....maybe this will help me stop the cycle before it gets out of hand.
Thanks for listening.
Jennifer 
Oh Jennifer honey -
I am so sorry that you feel miserable, and I feel really bad that you're guilting yourself.
Losing a Mom is one of the heaviest things any of us goes through in our lives, and you did it at a time that was possibly the worst for you personally.
You've had a helluva year, and you can certainly be forgiven for bingeing once.
It's over.
You did it, you recognized what you had done and you've paid the price.
Put it behind you. You're so strong - you've shown that again and again. I really admire the fact that not only have you been tough cookie when you needed to (for yourself) but you've kept your big heart through all of your troubles.
Big hug.
I am so sorry that you feel miserable, and I feel really bad that you're guilting yourself.
Losing a Mom is one of the heaviest things any of us goes through in our lives, and you did it at a time that was possibly the worst for you personally.
You've had a helluva year, and you can certainly be forgiven for bingeing once.
It's over.
You did it, you recognized what you had done and you've paid the price.
Put it behind you. You're so strong - you've shown that again and again. I really admire the fact that not only have you been tough cookie when you needed to (for yourself) but you've kept your big heart through all of your troubles.
Big hug.
Jen, 
Congratulations on recognizing what it was, and working through it. Once we recognize it we can deal with it. The loss of someone you love is a tough thing I went through it early on with the loss of my father and several family and friends over the years and the tendency was to stuff down the hurt with food. I highly recommend talking to someone at your clinic who can help you work through the grief and set up some coping skills.
Good luck,
Tracey
Congratulations on recognizing what it was, and working through it. Once we recognize it we can deal with it. The loss of someone you love is a tough thing I went through it early on with the loss of my father and several family and friends over the years and the tendency was to stuff down the hurt with food. I highly recommend talking to someone at your clinic who can help you work through the grief and set up some coping skills.
Good luck,
Tracey
Sorry that you ended up feeling miserable after such a hard day already. My mother has been gone 7 years and it's still hard somedays.
Although in my own opinion the feeling crappy after over eating is one of the best parts of the post-surgery tool. Even when making okay choices, just eating too much it definitely makes you stop and think....which is just what I need to keep me honest. I love the idea of the sign for the fridge - just something to make you stop and think about the food and the timing before you make the decision to eat.
Glad that you survived the holiday celebrations - I did as well without any real issues. I was on Optifast year over Christmas last year...so this was my 1st post-op Christmas too. I think we should both be proud of ourselves.
I wish you all the best for the coming year; I'm hoping that 2012 will bring you happiness and success.
Hugs, Muriel
Although in my own opinion the feeling crappy after over eating is one of the best parts of the post-surgery tool. Even when making okay choices, just eating too much it definitely makes you stop and think....which is just what I need to keep me honest. I love the idea of the sign for the fridge - just something to make you stop and think about the food and the timing before you make the decision to eat.
Glad that you survived the holiday celebrations - I did as well without any real issues. I was on Optifast year over Christmas last year...so this was my 1st post-op Christmas too. I think we should both be proud of ourselves.
I wish you all the best for the coming year; I'm hoping that 2012 will bring you happiness and success.
Hugs, Muriel
We're always here to listen. You did good realizing what you were doing, and for stopping when you did. I know the visit was difficult, it will be for a while, and this one would be worse with it being the first Christmas without her. Your Mom's looking down at you now, being proud of what you have done.
I'm going to give you the same advice I give my kids when we go skating, "I don't care how many times you fall, all I care about is how many times you pick yourself up".
You've fallen, but you picked yourself up. That is what's important.
I'm not saying my advice is an excuse to let yourself fall, but when it happens, and we've all let it happen, or will let it happen for one reason or another, we need to remember to pick ourselves up, and if we can't do it alone, to be strong enough to ask for help. We don't have to go it alone. If we did, this site wouldn't have been created.
Keep going on your journey, you are doing great.
Cathy
I'm going to give you the same advice I give my kids when we go skating, "I don't care how many times you fall, all I care about is how many times you pick yourself up".
You've fallen, but you picked yourself up. That is what's important.
I'm not saying my advice is an excuse to let yourself fall, but when it happens, and we've all let it happen, or will let it happen for one reason or another, we need to remember to pick ourselves up, and if we can't do it alone, to be strong enough to ask for help. We don't have to go it alone. If we did, this site wouldn't have been created.
Keep going on your journey, you are doing great.
Cathy
is Monica M.
You should have expected that it was going to happen. It is your first holiday with out your mom. And it was hard on you to begin with. I feel for you. I would say not to be hard on yourself, for two reasons, one is because you didn't eat things that you souldn't have, like cakes and cookies, ect, and two because you did recognized it, It could have ended much worse then what it had, The halt sign sounds like a great idea. I may even do the same. I go through the eating thing at night, Always have, but he dr told me we should eat every three hours. Sorry that you had to go through this for the holiday, I hope you feel better soon.
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