Dying Inside.

Miss1978, This all sounds sooo familiar. I am 5 weeks post-op, and this still happens to me from time to time. Maybe about 3 wks ago, my family went to Incredible Pizza ( a pizza buffet & playland.) I thought I'd be ok b/c I had been cooking for my kids & stuff without cheating, but when I saw everyone getting their plates of food (pizza, salads, mac & cheese, pastas, etc) & it all smelled sooo good, I actually started crying!  My sister felt so bad. She told me I could go home & she'd take my kids home when they were finished, but I said no. This was something I was just going to have to get used to, and I just told myself over & over that it was dumb to be crying over food. I've had to give myself those types of pep talks often...especially when I pass by Olive Garden, my fav. (I refuse to go in there. I'm not sure if I'm that strong yet.) Right now, I still kinda have regrets about the surgery...even though I've lost 42 lbs already, but I just keep thinking how it seems like everyone that posts on here & is farther out is doing great & loving life. I know I'll be there too one day. This whole process has been a big lesson in patience for me! Be strong & keep your head up....there's a light at the end of the journey!

Hi there. BIG hugs! First, what you're feeling is NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL, and it does get better. But, it may never be the same as before, and you might not mind this. I'm 3 months out, and I definitely went through what you're going through. I wouldn't allow anyone to eat pizza (one of my favorites) in front of me for the first few weeks. I just didn't want to see them enjoy it when I couldn't.  Now, at 3 months, I could care less what people eat in front of me. If I want some, I try it. Nothing is off limits to me. I will tell you that SO many foods don't taste good anymore (partly/mostly because of how the food feels in my pouch). Now, since I'm 3 months out, I do expect it to change for me too, so I can't be the final judge. But, I can tell you that right now, I don't tend to crave pizza because I know how it sits in my pouch and how it tastes. It's just not like before. I missed "the good old days" of eating and enjoying pizza the first few weeks, but I'm really over that now. I remember posting something about being so sick of my protein shakes and dying for scrambled eggs (something I thought I'd be able to enjoy during my pureed stage), and someone told me that I might not even enjoy the scrambled eggs because of how they sit. And they were right. I actually got sick from them, and before I got sick, the taste was just okay. To this day, I can't eat eggs, chicken, shrimp, or turkey yet. When you get sick from something, it just changes the way you view it. It's that old Pavlovian Classical Conditioning kicking in. There are other things I eat that give me pleasure. Fruit is a big one for me. I liked fruit pre-op, but I LOVE it post-op. It's so sweet and goes down like a champ. I also eat baked apple chips (potato chip consistency), and they're good. I've eaten several non-healthy things as well. I had fries early out, as carbs go down pretty well for me. I really liked them initially (only had a handful at a time), but now, I can take them or leave them, so why not leave them? I enjoy a good baked potato, and I'd rather have that than fries.  I had a few bites of chocolate peanut butter ice cream (I have no problem with sugar), and let me tell you, that also went down just fine and was absolutely delicious. I'm also now obsessed with it, and it's all I think about, so I think this is what posters are talking about when they say sugar begets more sugar, carbs beget more carbs. I have to see what I can handle emotionally. I don't mind having a few treats if I don't then become obsessed with them. The chocolate peanut butter ice cream is probably a bad choice for me, given that the idea of it is now consuming me. I'm better able to handle snow cones , water ice, and Flavor-ice sticks. I enjoy them, but don't obsess over them, so they're probably better choices (although pure sugar and zero nutritional value). I'm a believer that a treat every few days doesn't hurt anyone, as long as it doesn't lead to any out of control mentalities. It's been so nice thus far not thinking about food 24/7, partly because I'm just eating a lot of protein, and I can't say it's so tasty that I look forward to eating, because I really don't. I would rather not eat than eat, since I'm not hungry yet. Experiment, if you think you can handle it, and you might just find a few new favorites. GOOD LUCK to you! -Beth

Miss I am with Melissa, you are not hungry at this stage it is truly head hunger, go take a walk.  Now in 3 months when you want pizza, take a  couple of saltines and put pizza sauce and fat free cheese on it and nuke it for 15 seconds, yummy snack, tastes like pizza, low fat, low cal and yummy.  I keep a jar of Prego pizza sauce in the fridge for that and using like she said with cheese.  One thing also is I kept a sack of cubed cheese and when I felt I had to have just something I would take two cubes , cut it into a bunch of little bites, and enjoy.  Hope that helps some. Amy

Thank you all.  I feel so much better today.

Eventually you will be able to eat some of those foods again in smaller amounts.  Some you may not want any more.  My best friend had the surgery and I have seen her enjoy a piece of pizza or a couple of bites of something she really wants.  She waited a long time for some foods - it was more than a year before she had a couple bites of cake.   However there is nothing she cannot eat. (she is 2 years out)