Fat Chick Mindset

I'm really having a hard time getting rid of the "Fat Chick" mindset. Every single time I order something from a catalog, which admittedly isn't too often yet, I get it too big. I can't wrap my mind around being able to wear something without several X's in front of the L. I can wear an XL, and sometimes an L, but I always think...better get a 1X so it won't be tight. Then it comes and I swim in it. Sheesh. I'm going to MAKE myself order an L next time, and if it's too tight I'll just keep it until it fits, it will eventually! I wore a top to work yesterday that fit, I found one in my drawer that had been sitting there for ages because I couldn't wear it, and wore it with my L.L. Bean jeans that I finally got into. I was SO uncomfortable because I couldn't hide under that shirt...but you know, I got several compliments. It seems that when you wear something that fits, people can actually see how much you've lost! What a concept!

I'm still workin' on seeing myself as nearly "normal" in size, but it's a strange feeling. Don't get me wrong, it's a GOOD feeling and I'm happy about it, it just takes some getting used to!

Do you have to order from a catalog? Going in to stores is just now startng..for me..it be a good thing. I pick up piles of things and take them in. Things not in my size,,,things I would never wear...odd colors. It's kinda like a banquet of clothes.
I told my wife that I didn't like to shop and she called b.s. on that. She said.."you used to shop all the time..you were forever bringing home sacks..you stopped when you couldn't fit in the clothes"
Ahh..someone whose  been with me 25 yrs...she won't let me get away with anything.
I'm thinking I'm going to need to work some extra shifts for shopping money.
Deb T.

Oh no, I don't *have* to, I just shop via catalog and online more than going to the mall. Mostly it's a time issue.

Jenny

Funny thing about my process is that I did not buy clothes for myself the first six months or so. My mom bought everything for me. Once I started shopping for myself, I could pretty well eyeball my sizes, even when they varied from store to store. In Wal-Mart I gravitate toward 6's whereas at the Gap and Old Navy I naturally look for 10's. I think it's a function of not buying my clothes when I was in the biggest state of flux.

About fitting clothes...you really do see your progress a lot better if you wear good fitting clothes. That works both ways. I have some stuff that is still a bit too tight (like according to Eddie Bauer I am a 10 although I own 2 pairs of size 8's) and also the right style of clothing. I was reading in Real Simple magazine about how to pick the right pair of jeans (which, apparently, is a science) and it said something that seemed profound to me at the time (with my simple brain). It said "if you are muffin topping out of pants, it is the wrong style. Seek another." I thought it always just meant it was too small. Who knew?

I admire your guts, Nik, I've been meaning to tell you that! You are quite a bit smaller than I am, I'm still in the 200s, but ALMOST in Onederland. I am extremely self-conscious about my extra arm skin, and will not wear anything with sleeves above the elbow. There you are in a halter saying, LOOK AT ME! I haven't attained that much confidence yet, not by a long shot. I really need to get with a weight lifting program, I plan to do that soon. Perhaps that'll help...just in time for sweater season! Then I'll have a good excuse not to show my arms until next spring...

 Jenny

The one thing I've learned the past few months: other people don't see what we see. Unless I lift my arms (like to point at something) most people don't notice the batwings. I do the obligatory "mention it before you do thing" (i.e. "yeah, I know I have no business wearing this with these arms...") and people look at me with an odd expression and go "that was the first time I noticed it." So that gave me a boost. I spent all my life hiding those sausagy arms of mine. Now I have some muscle tone (I'd actually like to keep my arms where they are at--a soft cut of the biceps, defined triceps but not hard core looking) and I like it!

I think you probably notice your flaws WAY more than anyone else does or would.

It's not just a chick thing....I'm doing it too.  I still find myself going for the 3X,4X, or 5X stuff when I know I'll be swimming in it.  Old habits die hard I guess.  My wife is doing the same thing.  This is a habit that I'll be glad to break.

I went shopping last weekend and actually allowed myself to look at clothes other than at Lany Bryant for the first time. I bought some clothes in Old Navy and in Eddie Bauer, it was so cool. Yes they are still tight, but they will be too loose soon enough!  I LOVE MY RNY!!!

Yes, they will! You go, girl!

I am the same way!!  I also tend to wear stuff way past when they actually fit, partially because I'm cheap and hate to spend money on clothes.  I did just force myself to clean out my closet.  I had one hugh trashbag of clothes for the trash (too raggity to even donate) and 2 big laundry baskets of clothes to donate.  My closet is virtually empty but now I can figure out what actually fits and what I need for the new school year.  I will be buying in stores so I can make sure the new clothes fit.

Laura