Dawn..... I am so sorry you have these issues to handle when your main focus is your daughter's well being and happiness.  Makes it harder to take care of the priorities.

One thing jumped out at me.  I may be very sensitive to this because of my HR background.  An underage child living with an adult (He is 17, she is 18) is potential grounds for underage sexual battery.  Could end up on a sexual offenders list.  I have had to deal with this situation many times when hiring young men and women who openly lived with their underage partner and someone got mad and made a big fuss.

Long lasting impact on someones life for a few months or weeks of puppy love.

Thanks Vicky...but here in Texas, 17 yr old is an adult.  (I was looking into that underage thing to try and break them up)  You can get married and sign a legal contract at 17 here.

thank ya for your wisdom!!
Dawn

Sound's like its time for DUMB to go. Chuck needs to get out of the middle and stand up with you.

My daughter was in a relationship with a total loser/drug and when she was 21 decided that she wanted to make her own rules. DH (a stepdad) & I told her that if she was going to live in our house, she either followed our rules or could leave AND the car, cell phone, insurance all stayed home. Imagine what happened next - she decided that our rules weren't so bad after all and THUGBOY broke up with her shortly afterwards.

Not the same situation (esp given your daughter's medical situation), but as hard as it was, we had to tell her that we were in charge in our house, not her.

I'll keep you in my thoughts!

CHUCK is stuck!! 

His baby girl or his first love (me).  He tries to stay outta me & BRAT's arguments for fear of pushing BRAT away and "not gett'n any" from me if he chooses her side!  LOL

He's a soft spoken man but I got the balls ~ ya know?!  LOL

thank ya,
Dawn

 If you have made up your mind to allow him to live in your house to go to college (that is admirable on your part to house a student and a lucky opportunity for him)- then set out the guidelines that he needs to get a job and contribute a little.  Any Walgreens, CVS or Wal Mart keeps the prescriptions in a database so that he can pick them up locally - but - more than likely he just wants to go visit his home and grandparents. 

You have several options:
 
1. Throw him out and deal with your daughter's grief.

2.  Encourage him to get a job and contribute to the needs of the household. He is young and needs guidance and it's up to you to set a few guidelines.

3.  Realize the things that he may do to contribute that go unnoticed like keep your daughter happy and keep her engaged in living life even if it means driving the boyfriend around or maybe he mows the lawn or takes out the trash (of course he may not do any of these...)

4.  Encourage your daughter to find another boyfriend.

Dawn
I think DUMB needs to realize what you have done for him and be respectful to you in your own home...after all...you are the one paying the bills and you should haven't to be treated like that and feel like you have to walk on egg shells in your home..it should be HE who should feel like that...
WTF...you give him a place to live, eats on the table and he carries around balls that size...girl...i think you should nueter him!!!
just sayin
good luck!

Poor you and Chuck! and Poor Dumb is he ****** you off too much. I would not want to be at the receiving end of your wrath. It's a tough situation Dawn  - but I am confident you will work it out the best way you know how. That's ALL anyone can expect of you. Good luck----------M.

Dawn,
I feel your pain. I have a 19 year old who is back home...again. I had kicked her out a few weeks ago when my 3 and 5 year old went in her room and found her ********er boyfriend in bed with her. He is not allowed anywhere near my home or my daughter but I have no control over what happens outside my home. He was shot last month then was in jail and I was hoping he would roit there but they let him out. He sells crack, has 3 baby mamas, no education and he beats her. Real catch huh?? She begged to come back home a few weeks ago and of course I let her. I just pray and hope that she gets her **** together. I have 2 young children watching her every move. Healthy or not, they are our children and we want them happy but it stresses the hell out of me and then that causes conflit with me and my hubby who is not her father.  He is the one who always talks me into giving her yet another chance.... and he gave her a car....spoiled brat, but I love her anyway. Good luck, just think i have to go thru this again in another 10 years...lol.


Tracy

CHUCK needs to back MAMA up. PERIOD.  Brat knows daddy is going to keep quiet. YOU 2 need to present a UNITED FRONT to both of them. I would ask him for proof positive of his medications..scripts wrotten by his doctor to HIM. In your situation it is not unrealistic to ask. If he balks, you have your answer. If he agrees, it means he has nothing to hide.

He OWES you a huge apology and I would DAMN sure demand. THAT is your home, and he is a GUEST there. A little anecdote..my bil comes to my home to watch football on Saturday nights. This past weekend he was here and had the NERVE to pitch a ****** about my pets. THIS is MY house. He tried to tell me I should not let my dogs or ferrets have the run of the house. I was PO'ed. I let him know quick and in a hurry he HAD no say so about what the heck happened here. HE was a guest. MY pets LIVE here. ( I know the bf lives with you, but still). He backed the heck up real quick. AND apologized. I told him net damn time I would personally show him the door. MY HOUSE, MY RULES!!

So the same should be with this buttclown. I know you love your girl. BUT her and the bf need to respect you. END of STORY!!