Too big for my britches?

So my holidays were fabulous.  Christmas dinner I ate 1 small slice of turkey and put nothing else on my plate.  Well my roomie bought me this beautiful pink shirt, which I thought looked great on me for a change (I took a pic and when I download it I will post it) and my soon to be sister in law walked up to me and told me that now that I'm losing weight I am acting "too big for my britches".

First off, I USED to be too big for them but I'm not now haha!  But I gain a smidgette of what I call SELF CONFIDENCE and a more bubbly personality and she's saying I'm full of myself.  It makes me mad that she doesn't see it in a positive light that I'm not so down on myself.  I'm replacing my humor that I used to cover up the fact that I was fat with some real confidence.

Now my family (all but my dad) are telling me that I need to quit acting stuck up.  But you know what?  I'm NOT changing who I am for anyone.  Nor am I going to sit in a corner and try to be invisible anymore.  I did this surgery for ME not for THEM and I'm looking and feeling fabulous so right now they can all go to hell.

*calmly steps off her soap box*

My best friend recently told me I think "I'm better than everyone else now"... what?  I'm more picky about what I wear and what I eat, that makes her think that?  She has also gained a lot of weight over the past year, she used to be much smaller. 

I love your attitude.  I wish I could not let those comments get to me.  I even took a step back and reevaluated what I was doing, thinking maybe I do have that "better than others" attitude... BS no I don't. 

I guess when you gain confidence and they see that slight shift in your personality they automatically think of it as being stuck up.

I posted on my facebook last week something to the effect of "airports charging extra for bags is like restaurants charging extra if your hungry and more if you're overweight"... my mom called and asked me "who are you to make a fat joke, that's offensive"... fat joke?  It was a comparison not a fat joke!  Just to throw in there though, my mom has been very supportive, that was the first comment she made, but it hurt nevertheless.

 I can totally relate.....I am actually a quiet person...I have only shared about my surgery with a few people...I work in a hospital....and I go about my job and have ALWAYS kept to myself.....but now a lot of people are saying bad things about me...I think I am better then everyone...I think I am to good to talk to others....None of which is true...

SO here is my decision.  Some people take your actions to better your health as a reflection of their lack of action.  Even though you do no even have them in mind....others tend to take everything and make it about them.  Be proud of yourself....keep up the good work.....celebrate your accomplishments.  People are going to talk either way......so just let them...and continue your journey.  You are doing this for you...not them...and they will follow your lead.  Don't give them power over you and your emotions.  

That is my advice anyway...LOL.  Congratulations on your success.  

Your decision is just like mine! I too have decided to not let people steal my joy. The whole concept of your action causing another to see their own inaction is so accurate an assessment! People assumed they had power over us because we were heavy. They were comfortable to stand next to us because we did not measure up to their "stature" and they thought we needed their association to exist. How wrong is that? This experience will teach us more about our strengths and weaknesses, but even more important, who we can trust to be a true friend in life

Honey, you can step on that soap box anytime you WANT! 

Jealousy...that's what it is. Total; pure jealousy. Some can handle it and some can not.

Don't sweat the smal stuff, and the detractors are "small stuff".

You've done really well and have EVERY right to blow your own horn..

I got the same thing but the fact of the matter was that THEY couldn't handle the new, more positive me and so I had to make a conscious effort to stay away from poisonous people..including family.

It is often easier said than done...but ignore them.  I was amazed at the reaction I received when I told friends/family  I was having WLS. 


One family member, a size 4/6, tried EVERYTHING to talk me out of it.  First I was not "really" big, size 24, to I would never get approved, to fix my "other" health issues, to I just needed to "love" myself.  I learned in the 9 months it took to gain insurance approval that most people were threatened by my decision. 


The "fat"  girl always makes the thin ones, who are only superficial friends, feel superior.  Overweight friends see this a a huge reminder of their battle.  It is complicated.  Good for your Dad.  *****ally knows the motivation behind someones comments.  But, in my opinion, if people have to be negative and snooty, then the question is what is in their psyche causing that reaction.

Congratulations on the new you.  I won't even tell people how much I have lost.  I know those "same" people will say it is too much or too little, considering what I had to do to get there. 

It's amazing how people pigeon-hole you into a specific role (funny fat girl) and they get really upset if you break out of that role that they want you in. Skinny people feel threatened by you, and overweight people are jealous. As long as you're not actually doing anything that would seem "stuck up" or annoying (i.e., lecturing them about their food, talking about your weight loss a lot, etc.), then just ignore them, let it roll of your (smaller) back and just know that it's *them*, not you *you*!

Good luck!
Bug

I notice that I have a hard time with some of my friends and family.  I don't have it with changing me so much.  My friends are happy that I am dressing nicer.  I have always been outspoken and confident even when I was 360.  However, now that I see people eating, it grosses me out.  I went with my friend to a casino and she wanted to go to the all you can eat.  We went and I made some good choices, but the guy in the booth next to me was litterally sucking down crab legs.  I had to stop eating because the sound and the pure gluttony of what he was doing (add in the sucking sounds) grossed me out to no end.  I notice it too if I'm with friends who are eating a whole lot, it doesn't always gross me out, but it does amaze me, and sometimes I get upset with myself because I would eat atleast that much, often more.
Perspectives sure have changed.

I get sick of this fight, too...Now that we are losing weight and feeling good about ourselves, their superiority is threatened! Augh! Drives me nuts! You deserve all the best, so don't let them get to you..I know, easier said than done!(:
Heather

It is good to know that we are not alone in this...people feel threatened by people who are capable of making positive changes in their lives. This means that those threatened people are simply insecure and toxic. Anyone who would seek to undermine or make light of a success of another person needs professional help!