Thinking of going back to college...nervous...confused...

I didn't graduate college. Actually only went for a short time before another vocation fell into my lap that paid well and didn't require a college degree. At this point in my life, I am feeling a distinct need to have an identity other than wife and mom. Something of my own if you know what I mean. I am debating going back to college. With that comes a flood of emotions from excitement to sheer horror.  I'm very torn on what to pursue and since I have had a tendancy to quit things when they get hard, I don't want another failure on the books. I had thought of pursuing nursing, but I have a very tricky back that leaves me concerned that 12 hours on my feet might not fly. Granted, I understand there are lots of avenues I could pursue where nursing is concerned that wouldn't leave me at a hospital, so I guess more research is needed there. But I love to help and nurture people (and think I could hold my own against some of the ****y doctors!). I also had thought of pursuing a certificate in personal training. My concerns there are that my body is still not what it needs to be, but I feel very strongly that I could be a very good motivator and could supplement the knowledge I already have about how the body works with whatever coursework the college offers. Then there is a "health sciences" degree. I've always said I'd love to work with overweight children, so my thought was that if I pursued that direction, it could avail me to have a focus on health and wellness that might open doors for me doing something along those lines.

So this is all to say that I'd love to chat with anyone who went back to college later in life. Was it terribly hard to balance everything? I am a stay-home mom and I'll have no kids at home next year during the day, so that should help tremendously. Did you know what you wanted to do when you went back or did you have to figure it out? Any advice is most welcome.

As always, thanks guys!

Denise

Hi!  I recently went back to college last fall at 40.  I too,  had a vocation that paid well with the government, and didnt' need a college education for that.  After about 15 years in that position, and moving around with my husbands Naval career for the last 20 years,  I realized that my job didn't give me what I needed, other than a paycheck.

I knew I always wanted to go back to college - but cir****tances never were right for me to start.  Last summer, my husband retired from the Navy and we settled down in Southern California.   I figured now would be the best time for me to go back.  I can count on my husband to be home and not deploy - and we would be staying in one location.

I knew what I wanted to pursue.  Before married life, and kids at an early age,  I wanted to go to school and get my MFA in Ceramics so I could teach at the college level.  

So,  here I am 22 years later, at age 40 an  a freshman in college along side kids that are younger than my oldest son.  (He is 21).  I was terrified - and thoughts of failure ran through my mind.  I had severe doubts and those evil little voices in my head almost changed my mind.  

I can tell you two semesters later, and maintaining a 4.0 average,  I am loving my experience at school.  It is so rewarding to me - and it is such a sense of accomplishment for ME.  Beyond wife, mother, employee, etc.  

I realize that this is where I am supposed to be RIGHT NOW in this phase of my life.  All of my experiences leading up to this point have been learning experiences that just help my learning in the classroom.  I have several kids that have followed me from one class to another to be in the same class as me, because they like the point of view I bring to discussions, etc.  (And I am like a surrogate mom to many of them!)  

Everything I thought I would have trouble with school have been completely false.  I relate to most of my professors on a personal level, and have learned so much in such a short time.   I say DO IT!!!!   You will not regret it.

If you are interested in a certain field,  take a class or two.  You don't have to figure it out the first year or so anyways......do what intrests you!  You might surprise yourself!

Good luck!  If you have any questions or need any support, let me know!  You can do this!
Amy

Thank you so much for that thorough, thoughtful answer. You are very well written--I can see why you are doing beautifully in school. So nice to hear a success story. And your point about being able to relate to professors is a very good one--makes such a difference when they get that there is life outside of school. And how nice that you have a little fan club!! I just turned 40 in October, so I will definitely be hanging out with the 20 somethings, but I'm sure I can hang!

Thanks again and I will undoubtedly be in touch as this process unfolds before me!

With much appreciation,

Denise

I quit college the first time around after I got an Associate degree (and a full-time job) and had only completed an additional year of my B.A..  It took me about 10 years to go back to fini**** part-time.  Since then, I have completed 2 Master's degrees in Humanities areas (in 1997 and 1999) -- one of which I completed part-time and one full-time -- and then I went back again for a Master's degree in Counseling in 2004.   Somehow I managed to juggle a full-time job, classes, the house  and yard,  AND the counseling internship during the final year.  (I did nto have to deal with caring for children, though.) In 2010, I started a PhD program.... not because I needed it for my career, but because I wanted it for ME.  It will probably help my career (if I ever manage to fini****!), but but that was not really the motivation for it.  I originally wanted to teach when I got my first Master's degree (it was actually a PhD program, but after I completed the requirments for the Master's degreee I opted to leave Nashville (Vanderbilt) and come back home to work).  When I went back for the counseling degree it was, obviously, to change careers and do counseling.

I am a huge advocate of education (even just for the sake of education).  I don't "use" my Classics and Ancient History degrees for anything except occasionally translating a random Latin passage for someone or for answering questions while watching Jeopardy, but I believe that it makes me a better, more well-rounded person in addition to being a better-educated one, and it helped me develop some talents that I would otherwise never had known I had.

Personally, I say "go for it"!  If you have any questions, please feel free to PM me!

Lora

I am 59 and currently going to college.  I will be a teacher when I finish.  I think it is easier this time around.  The classes make more sense and the kids get a kick out of the "old man."  It really is great to exercise your brain.  The old saying is "use it or lose it."

Funny you mention the use it or lose it. I am getting to the point that I'm having trouble remembering simple words when I'm telling a story. I call it stay-home mom mush brain. Too many hours with the kiddies and not enough stimulating adult conversation.

College would definitely help keep the wheels turning!

Thanks!

Denise

Hi Denise!

Going back to school at an "older" age has been the best thing I've ever done for myself.  That includes having my surgery!  If I hadn't gone back and regained my lost confidence I don't think I would have had the guts to have the surgery.

I'm in school for nursing.  I started this whole process a couple years ago and now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I still have a year and a half to go, but I know that I will get there.  My kids are older teenagers so having them underfoot hasn't been a problem.  I have many friends in my program who have young children and seem to survive the challenge.  One just had a baby 6 weeks ago! 

When I first decided to go back to school I was terrified!  I hadn't been the best student in high school and that was back in the eighties.  I was just more concerned with partying!  I really struggled with what venue to take.  I really wanted to go into nursing because it's what my family does.  We have 4 generations of nurses in our family.  I guess it's just what we are called to do.  I didn't think I had the drive or ability to keep up academically with the younger crowd.  Well, 2 years in and I am one of the few who has managed to achieve a 4.0 in our program.  To say I shock myself every day is an understatement.

This is SO doable if it is your priority.  It's tough, don't get me wrong.  But everything that we do is.  Being a parent, being a wife, employee, compliant patient. LOL.  I STRONGLY encourage you to do your research and go for it!  Nursing programs are very competitive, but you can do it. 

I wish you the best of luck on your decision. 

Michelle

Go for it!!! I went back to school in 2006 to get my MBA (after 12 years out of school) and I will finish my Doctorate in Finance this year. I have never regretted my decision. My suggestion would be to really think about what you want to do before starting a degree prgram and then make sure you understand what it will take to get there.  Starting a program before you decide may result in taking classes that can not be applied to your program (as well as the additional cost).

Good luck!

I'm a professional student at this point lol... went on a scholarship for my first two years of pre-med (epidemiology). Dropped out to work/support myself, then started back up again as a Nursing major. Got into Nursing school and did 2 semesters of that but had to drop it because I needed to work full-time to support myself and couldn't keep up with both. I loved it, and still miss it, but just couldn't make it work.

 Ended up finishing my B.A. in English/Health Sciences. Started an M.A. in English/Writing so I could write articles on health/self-help. Stopped because I was paying OOP and couldn't afford it. Got into and finished a difficult 2nd B.S. program in Communicative Disorders so I could get into the medical field as a speech-language pathologist or an audiologist. Started up an M.B.A. in Healthcare Admin (what I'm in school for now) because I didn't want to pay my student loans back yet and I wanted to finish a master's degree for job opportunities, plus SLP and/or audiology requires clinicals and again, I couldn't work full-time and finish a program. 

Then I had an epiphany when I had WLS and realized life is too short to squander opportunities and I applied to (and got accepted!! eek!!!) into an audiology doctorate program to get my Au.D. I am super super excited about it but scared crapless because I have no idea how I am going to do clinicals, work full-time, grad school for another 4 more years and not lose my mind. Eventually I'll finish my M.A. so I'll have that too (I'm just short my thesis now).

Anyway all of that long-winded junk was to tell you 1) you're never too old to go back to school, and 2) sometimes the path we end up taking is circular and twisted, but I truly believe things in life work out the way they're meant to. Education is never a bad thing, no matter if it directly applies to your career or not.