Kind of done today (sorta long)

So the past few weeks have been very amazing weeks, found out we are having a baby girl, spent time with my mom, ran a race with my son, have been training my ass off for other races that are comming up.  So why today do I feel like such crap?  I tend to maintain a positive attitude about my journey and what I have accomplished thus far but today none of that really seems like much.

Today I sorta done with food, I really have no desire to eat much less care what I am eating, but I can assure you it isn't the crap I ate before surgery, if I eat at all.  What really sucks though is that thanks to training I am hungry like eat a flipping horse hungry. 

Today started like any other week day for me with getting up at 4:15am and heading to the gym.  Gym time was 60 minutes of weights and a 60 minute spin class. Finish spin class shower and head to the office, not before stopping at the drug store to get some protein bars (really the only thing that sounds good to eat lately.

I know part of the problem is that after last months race and setting an amazing PR for my I have hit a rut in my eating, with the exception of my moms visit.  I eat the same thing for days on end and really don't care about it, a meal typically consists of 3-4oz of meat and 1/3 cup of beans of some form with a bit of cheese.  Breakfasts are the same thing m-f and then Sat and Sun are an egg for Breakfast.

I find myself acting like my kids when it comes time to eat. I open the fridge and stare at it for 5 minutes then close it, and move on to the freezer, and eventually on to the pantry.  After about 15minutes I give up and go in the other room or I grab meat and beans. 

I exercise my ass off which gives me the luxury of being able to eat a bit more but I don't for the simple fact that nothing sounds good.  I think of enjoying a slice of pizza with my family but then the thought of eating pizza makes me ill.


As for the training well I find it hard to not push myself to always do more or do it better.  My new found fitness makes me believe that I can do anything with enough hard work, but some of the hard work I find totally frustrating.  My next big event is a Sprint Triathalon next month this event will be a 400yd swim, 10 mile bike ride and a 5K run.  One would think that riding that far and then getting off to run a 5K would seem difficult, but no my body just can't work that way this in my training I have found to be the easiest part.  On a stationary bike I can do the 10mile in 34min and the 5K in 33 minutes back to back.  So what is the hardest?  The flipping swim!  this frustrates me to no end because I grew up around pools and have swam as long as I can remember.  The very sad part is that I will probably do the swim in the same time I do the rest, as for training the thought of getting in the pool makes me want to shut down.  So why not just skip the Triathalon?  very simply put it is the weak point of all men PRIDE.  This Tri is for a cause that is very special to me and members of my family (as I try to make most of my events). I know I will finish this race if they let me because I refuse to give up but again I have to swim which isn' as easy as it once was, actually I don't swim I prevent myself from sinking with a slight forward motion.

So that is sort of it.  I feel like giving up today but know I won't because I am a jackass male that doesn't know how to quit.

Sorry for being all over the place.

 First off you are doing an AMAZING job and are an inspiration to all of us newbies!! Everyone has these days no matter if you are pre-op or post op. You are doing an excellent job and you CAN do this Triatholon!! you will rock it!! Know that you have people behind you 100% of the way and are proud of you now matter what! Congrats on finding out you are having a baby girl so exciting!! 

congratulations on your successful journey!  and for the baby girl.....and for doing the race with your son!!!  you're doing great!  sounds like you've just hit a little bump in the road. 

can't imagine a triathalon!  unless i could wear floaties on my arms!  i did another 5k last saturday and don't know what my problem was.....i struggled the entire race!  from the word "go" i struggled!  don't know if its the georgia pollen or what!  kind of bummed out that i struggle like i do!  thought it would get a bit better but it hasn't!  i try to eat a peanut butter sandwich on light bread about an hour before i race but still seem to run out of gas!  oh well!

keep up the good work and you will totally rock that triathalon!!!

We all have those days Paul. It's normal. It may be your body and mind saying you need a little break. You've been pushing yourself really hard and doing a great job, but even the best need a break sometimes.

As for the food, it balances itself out. You may be bored or you may just be having one of those inexplicable "pouch moments." I hoep you feel better soon.

I don't really know what to say, but offer you my support.  Your tenacity and relentless attitude are an inspiration to me.  Don't forget to rest and recuperate.  Try and shake things up a bit.  Sometimes our routines drag us down.  Don't be scared to venture outside of what has made you successful thus far.  I know it's scary but sometimes it will give you the push you need.  All your OH friends are rooting for you!  :)

Congratulations Paul on all your blessings and accomplishments. I am sooo happy for you. Your post sounds very familar to what I am experiencing right now. The only exception is that I am a woman and I have about 3 days out of the month where I do feel like I could eat the WHOLE world. Other than that I would be happy just packing 3 protein bars and 3 shakes for the day and keep it moving.  I don't do that, but I could!!! One wonderful thing that I have noticed this month is that I have soooo much more energy than any other month so far. I could feel my energy building each month since surgery, but right now I think I am going to explode. My family is here for a visit and I don't think they can keep up with me. As a matter of fact, I have been awake since 7:30am. I have had breakfast, completed my workout, put away the dishes, and when I am done with this post I am walking the dog... And guess what, they are still asleep.  It's a pretty awesome feeling. And honestly, I am the happiest in my heart that I have been in a long time. Its such a great feeling.

I know you can do this triathalon! But I think you should allow yourself atleast a day to bag all training and just rest. It could make a world of difference for you. And try perhaps going out with your honey and eating something new and different but still healthy. It may give you a little boost. Well I better run. Perhaps I will see you at group this week! Have a great day!

  We are having a role reversal today!  For once maybe I can be your cheerleader.
For starters;  I feel you about the diet.  I would almost rather not eat than eat more of the same old same old.  We both have full lives and between my full time job,  my kids, my part time photography business and my gym schedule the last thing I have time for is to cook and try recipes.  However, I know that at some point I need to spend a day learning how to make some new meals before I tear my hair out from eating chicken from chipotle every single day.  Maybe if we made some recipes on Saturday or Sunday and froze them we would eat better throghout the week and not be so underwhelmed by our diets.

Where you tri is concerned, you have already identified your strengths and weaknesses and how to approach them you just need to let yourself off the hook for needing to be perfect at everything.  Every athlete has their Achilles heel, but they push through it and I have no doubt that you will too.  We are all rooting you on. 

You are always a pillar of support for me, I hope that you know that we are all rooting for you and you will get through your funk today and move forward.  In the meantime, try getting some fajita's for lunch and eat them without the guac, sour or tortilla.  Yum.  That might change it up a bit for ya.

April

just wanna echo others... as you're doing an amazing job..
I get days more often than not where Im just not hungry or really just too busy to eat. Like today, Im JUST getting breakfast which is a packet of weight control oatmeal and some water...
which in turn will push all other meals back that much more...

Congrats on your triathalon

Paul,

Congrats on the baby girl! And your boy...isn't that dang cool.

Training in the pool is ALL about commitment....so once you get your feet wet, you can set up a regiment that will work for you.  Most folks I know go and do their laps then go for a bike ride or jog straight from the pool that way they can work their transitions.  The pool does not give up its rewards as easy but is simply a "just do" one more lap kinda thing.  The next day you can two more...and so on.  You will love the daily rewards!  Just remember to set your goals reachable.
And once you get to the pool, you will find that there are a ton of people who will help you with your stroke and your training.  

Food, well, it is just fuel for me right now as well.  My brain has separated from comfort and moved on to fuel.  I am sure it will land somewhere in the middle in the end.  I am kinda digging that I just don't care because I hope that means that I am getting a bit healthier mentally about it.  

You are a hero to those of us that are big into fitness.  I understand what you are saying about goals and life changing things.  But you also have to remember to schedule in some fun working out.  Enjoy the good weather before it gets super hot.  Get out and breath in some sunshine with your family. 

We did this to LIVE.  So don't forget to enjoy each moment. (This is a note to me too!)
I wish you well.
Hugs
Holly 

p.s. Mercury is in retrograde for another 5 days.  This month has been up and down and all over the map.  It is part of the cycle of life and it always makes me feel like I am trudging uphill.

Big hug Paul!.  I know you are too upbeat a guy and have done so well to let this last more than a day.  You're starting to obsess about the swimming and freak yourself out by avoiding it more.  Just jump in that pool and swim.  You know you can do it.  So stop playing mind games and get wet.  LOL

You are going to do great.  And if protein bars are what feel right to eat right now, then eat them.  I find eating comes and goes in waves. M-Th I eat almost the same thing every day with a bit more varity at dinner.  Weekends are more unstructured.  And I've done the stare at the refrig/freezer/cabinet thing hoping something different will pop out at me even though I know everything that's in there.  Ain't going to happen, but there's always hope.

Give yourself a break today, have the meltdown, go hug your wife and kids and start again tomorrow.

And a big MAZEL TOV on the new baby!
Jan