OTish: Manic behaviors: Anyone experience them?
I've been having a pretty rough run emotionally lately (had a midlife crisis thread a few days back) and after talking to my counselors (yes, that was plural--ugh!), there is some discussion that perhaps I am experiencing manic episodes. Some of my impulsive behaviors and poor decision making are being put into the mania category. I've been on Cymbalta for a month or so now and a couple people in my life say I have changed. Granted, my iffy behaviors predated the cymbalta, but they are saying I'm getting worse and not better. I'm not off shopping like a loon or drinking too much (usually) or drugging, but I have let myself fall into an emotional relationship that I should not be in and prior to the past six months don't believe I would have allowed myself to be in. I've never really considered myself a manic person. The bipolar tag has been tossed around a bit too. They are thinking that perhaps since my depression is controlled with meds, I'm just not cycling the way a bipolar person might. It is all very scary stuff to me because my mom suffered with pretty severe mental illness that thankfully was controlled by her medications.
Wondering if anyone has had any experience dealing with manic episodes. I understand there are all different levels, but right now my marriage is in jeopardy and I'm just trying to find my way through the quagmire.
Thanks for any thoughts or insights.
Denise
Wondering if anyone has had any experience dealing with manic episodes. I understand there are all different levels, but right now my marriage is in jeopardy and I'm just trying to find my way through the quagmire.
Thanks for any thoughts or insights.
Denise
Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.
RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!
*6.5 lost preop
I personnally have not had any of those kind of problems. But I do hope that the meds and counselors can help you get the episodes under control and you can get back to being a happy fun loving person.
Come visit me on my blog: http://apeekintomytreehouse.com/
Start weight 282, Surgery weight 265, Current weight 131, Goal weight 140
Start weight 282, Surgery weight 265, Current weight 131, Goal weight 140
A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. Eleanor Roosevelt
Denise,
You can PM me if you want to. I'm bipolar and have had manic episodes. Cymbalta can exacerbate the mania in a bipolar. Are any of your counselors actual psychiatrists? If not, you may want to see one. Mania is a pretty well documented side effect of Cymbalta when it is used to treat the depressive episodes a bipolar person has. Many times they will prescribe a mood stabilizer along with the Cymbalta to offset that side effect.
PM me if you want to talk/vent. Most of all, take care of yourself though. And I wouldn't get hung up on a label. It is what it is, no matter what they decide to call it you need to focus on just getting better =)
You can PM me if you want to. I'm bipolar and have had manic episodes. Cymbalta can exacerbate the mania in a bipolar. Are any of your counselors actual psychiatrists? If not, you may want to see one. Mania is a pretty well documented side effect of Cymbalta when it is used to treat the depressive episodes a bipolar person has. Many times they will prescribe a mood stabilizer along with the Cymbalta to offset that side effect.
PM me if you want to talk/vent. Most of all, take care of yourself though. And I wouldn't get hung up on a label. It is what it is, no matter what they decide to call it you need to focus on just getting better =)
Thank you so much Amy. I am actually in touch with my insurance company to find a psychiatrist in my network. Already seeing two out of network providers (individual and marriage) and it is costing an arm and a leg. My husband wants me off the Cymbalta "NOW". I explained that it is my understanding that Cymbalta is difficult to wean from and has to be managed carefully, unless he really wants to watch me go off the rails.
I will certainly be in touch. It is just freaky to get to 40 years old and have someone toss the bipolar label at you. Wonder if it has anything to do with chemical/hormonal changes from the weightloss? Can't imagine I've been bipolar my whole life since I've been involved with mental health professionals off and on through the years and never heard word one about it. But then again, who knows. The mind is a very complicated thing.
Thanks again for your time and concern. It always helps me to know I'm not alone. Hopefully I can avoid imploding any of my important relationships in the meantime!
Have a great night!
Denise
Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.
RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!
*6.5 lost preop
Oh yeah. I think that in general I went into an unhealthy energy when I took food out of the equation but some days are worse than others.
I don't think I'd classify myself as manic only because there is no flip side for me. I just do. Not. Stop. Ever.
I don't even have the ability to sit still. Ask anyone who has met me in person. Hell, the first time Nessa and I hung out was her highest GoWear Fit numbers to date.
Seriously though. I have days where the nervous energy overwhelms me. Some days it's manageable.
I don't think I'd classify myself as manic only because there is no flip side for me. I just do. Not. Stop. Ever.
I don't even have the ability to sit still. Ask anyone who has met me in person. Hell, the first time Nessa and I hung out was her highest GoWear Fit numbers to date.
Seriously though. I have days where the nervous energy overwhelms me. Some days it's manageable.
I think the not having a flip side is what is throwing a curve ball at me with this mania thing. I've always been a really busy person. The classic never sits down gal. Even when I wasn't on an antidepressant I was not a depressive type person. Sure, I had my days like anyone else, but nothing that kept me in bed all day or not wanting to shower or losing interest in things. My husband keeps saying he thinks I have ADHD the way I flit around. I guess we can't just be--always have to have a tag or label. Gets on my nerves honestly. Now I do have a more anxious personality--worry wort--but definitely more anxiety than depression.
I have a lot of thinking and work to do. Hard to do when you have a husband telling you to just get your head out of your butt and get back to normal. Sure honey, anything when you make the request with such love and compassion. Men--well most of them anyway.
Hope you've been well. You still planning on hitting all the OH conferences this year? I really want to get to NY. We'll have to see if I earn back hubby's trust--apparently he has read about spending sprees with the manias! NY and a spending spree could be ugly. You may want to be hanging with me that day if I get to spending though!
Denise
I have a lot of thinking and work to do. Hard to do when you have a husband telling you to just get your head out of your butt and get back to normal. Sure honey, anything when you make the request with such love and compassion. Men--well most of them anyway.
Hope you've been well. You still planning on hitting all the OH conferences this year? I really want to get to NY. We'll have to see if I earn back hubby's trust--apparently he has read about spending sprees with the manias! NY and a spending spree could be ugly. You may want to be hanging with me that day if I get to spending though!
Denise
Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.
RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!
*6.5 lost preop
You are welcome to hang with me and blame any spending sprees ON me.
Last year I went to Cincy with not a dime in my pocket. I was blessed by the generosity of friends who fed me and gave me Long Island Iced Tea...erm...love and affection (hiccup).
I never was such a busy person before. And I really don't notice my busyness now except when with others. I tire EVERYONE out. Everyone. And I get impatient when people can't go as fast or long as I can. I'm working on it.
Last year I went to Cincy with not a dime in my pocket. I was blessed by the generosity of friends who fed me and gave me Long Island Iced Tea...erm...love and affection (hiccup).
I never was such a busy person before. And I really don't notice my busyness now except when with others. I tire EVERYONE out. Everyone. And I get impatient when people can't go as fast or long as I can. I'm working on it.
RNY Gastric Bypass 1-8-08 350/327/200 (HW/SW/CW). I spend most of my time playing with my food over at Bariatric Foodie - check me out!
Wow, what you're experiencing sounds a lot like my issues. I've been a major clinically depressed person from my earliest childhood memory. (about 4 yrs old) I finally was medicated at 17 yrs, IMO, way too late. I can't blame my mother though, she just thought I was a "difficult" child. And she somehow didn't pick up on my cries for help, that I would blatantly put in her face. I stray, sorry.
As the years went by, my decision making skills got weaker and weaker still. I have been through so much hardship in my 32 years, that no one, especially any woman, should have to endure. That's, pretty much, all due to my lack of judgment. I never drank Alcohol until my early 20's and it started to feel good. It made me feel "normal," I would actually be in a good mood, and I was an all together fun person to be around. For a couple of years.
The drinking escalated into an uncontrollable disease that took over my life. During that time, somehow, I started dabbling in drugs. I was never hooked or an addict. I took and smoked drugs occasionally and always socially. Now, that I knew was wrong and any time I did it, I would say that I didn't want to, but I did it anyway. Just looking for some way to ease my mind, take away some pain, and, I guess, to try to feel good like when I first started drinking.
Before and during all this I had horrible social and generalized anxiety, often with attacks. The times I did feel pretty good without "self medicating" myself, I was out spending money that I didn't have, having casual one night stands with strangers trying to get from someone what I good not get from myself. I was without one once of respect for myself.
My illnesses were very medication resistant. I'm hoping that won't happen again, but there's a definite possibility,but I'm hoping for the best. After 3 1/2 rehabs and every depression, bipolar med, and mood stabilizers, I am currently doing pretty well. I don't dwell on wanting to die every day, it comes up, but not like it used to. I got pretty damn close to dying twice though. One was an accident, the other wasn't. I have been on as many as 6-8 different psych meds at one time. I switched Dr's, and started trying to come off of some of my meds, which has been successful, so far.
Right now I am taking 120mg of Cymbalta a day, Lamictal as a mood stabilizer (seroquel did better but my blood pressure would get too low). I am weening off of Busparone, and taking Doxipine for sleep after exhausting all other sleep meds, either with regular or off label uses. The addition of a mood stabilizer, that works for you, is probably key. If I could I would certainly go back and make extremely different decisions and maybe I wouldn't be at the place I am now. I dumped the man who ever truly loved me for "greener grass" that turned out to be a pshyco control freak, who now has a restraining order, and oh, the father of my daughter. I was forced to make a decision that any mother should not have to. I've lost all but a friend or two, my family's trust, and trust in myself, just to name a few.
What you are experiencing sounds a lot like my diagnosis of Bipolar Type 2, which is characterized by more depressed feelings than mania. I had to learn that mania comes in different forms. Mania does not have to be illusions of grandeur, possible hallucinations, racing thoughts and heartbeat, all those things people usually co-notate with mania. Mania is poor decision making, wandering thoughts, possible insomnia, overly happy or excited behavior when you are not normally that way. There are lots more, but I can't think to list them all. You can google it to find out more.
I hope that you can find help, peace, and happiness.
P.S. if anyone wants to know more about what alcohol can and probably will do to your life, read the OP, "From the DUH files, "something about alcohol being a transfer addiction" (sorry couldn't remember the whole exact title the first part is right) posted by M M (Melting Mama) on the Main Board. Read my post.
As the years went by, my decision making skills got weaker and weaker still. I have been through so much hardship in my 32 years, that no one, especially any woman, should have to endure. That's, pretty much, all due to my lack of judgment. I never drank Alcohol until my early 20's and it started to feel good. It made me feel "normal," I would actually be in a good mood, and I was an all together fun person to be around. For a couple of years.
The drinking escalated into an uncontrollable disease that took over my life. During that time, somehow, I started dabbling in drugs. I was never hooked or an addict. I took and smoked drugs occasionally and always socially. Now, that I knew was wrong and any time I did it, I would say that I didn't want to, but I did it anyway. Just looking for some way to ease my mind, take away some pain, and, I guess, to try to feel good like when I first started drinking.
Before and during all this I had horrible social and generalized anxiety, often with attacks. The times I did feel pretty good without "self medicating" myself, I was out spending money that I didn't have, having casual one night stands with strangers trying to get from someone what I good not get from myself. I was without one once of respect for myself.
My illnesses were very medication resistant. I'm hoping that won't happen again, but there's a definite possibility,but I'm hoping for the best. After 3 1/2 rehabs and every depression, bipolar med, and mood stabilizers, I am currently doing pretty well. I don't dwell on wanting to die every day, it comes up, but not like it used to. I got pretty damn close to dying twice though. One was an accident, the other wasn't. I have been on as many as 6-8 different psych meds at one time. I switched Dr's, and started trying to come off of some of my meds, which has been successful, so far.
Right now I am taking 120mg of Cymbalta a day, Lamictal as a mood stabilizer (seroquel did better but my blood pressure would get too low). I am weening off of Busparone, and taking Doxipine for sleep after exhausting all other sleep meds, either with regular or off label uses. The addition of a mood stabilizer, that works for you, is probably key. If I could I would certainly go back and make extremely different decisions and maybe I wouldn't be at the place I am now. I dumped the man who ever truly loved me for "greener grass" that turned out to be a pshyco control freak, who now has a restraining order, and oh, the father of my daughter. I was forced to make a decision that any mother should not have to. I've lost all but a friend or two, my family's trust, and trust in myself, just to name a few.
What you are experiencing sounds a lot like my diagnosis of Bipolar Type 2, which is characterized by more depressed feelings than mania. I had to learn that mania comes in different forms. Mania does not have to be illusions of grandeur, possible hallucinations, racing thoughts and heartbeat, all those things people usually co-notate with mania. Mania is poor decision making, wandering thoughts, possible insomnia, overly happy or excited behavior when you are not normally that way. There are lots more, but I can't think to list them all. You can google it to find out more.
I hope that you can find help, peace, and happiness.
P.S. if anyone wants to know more about what alcohol can and probably will do to your life, read the OP, "From the DUH files, "something about alcohol being a transfer addiction" (sorry couldn't remember the whole exact title the first part is right) posted by M M (Melting Mama) on the Main Board. Read my post.
I only strive to be, the kind of person my dogs think I am! 
Of the choices we are given, it's no choice at all....
-Patty Griffin
Oh, ****!! I thought you said YOU WERE drinking a little too much and drugging some! I just wrote that whole damn thing spilling my guts, to try and help, and all I did was make an ass of myself!! BAHAHAHAHAH
I gues with "my racing thoughts," I just raced right through that part!!!
Good job, dummy!!!
I gues with "my racing thoughts," I just raced right through that part!!!Good job, dummy!!!I only strive to be, the kind of person my dogs think I am! Of the choices we are given, it's no choice at all....
-Patty Griffin
Oh please don't think it was a mistake to share. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your honesty and candor. And it is good to hear from someone who has walked the walk and is so very well versed on the process. I'm glad you are in a decent place right now. It is so difficult when dealing with mental health issues because of all the nuances and individual issues that make diagnosing and treating these things like some sort of shell game. You are by no stretch a dummy! Far from it. I say it is those of us who are deeply intelligent that are plagued with these kinds of issues. We are so acutely aware of everything I think we halfway drive ourselves crazy with our thoughts. So I must say again, thank you for spilling your guts. You are a brave person who has lived through a lot and has a lot to offer and share, and I very much appreciate the fact that you did. As far as the drinking and drugging--I had a run with drinking about 5 months ago that was almost my undoing. Found some recreational drugs that I very much enjoyed as well. My motto--it feels good to feel good. It is no surprise to me that people become addicted to things that numb them or bring them to a joyful place when they otherwise may not be.
You hang in there and I will be doing the same. Take good care of yourself!
Denise
You hang in there and I will be doing the same. Take good care of yourself!
Denise
Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.
RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!
*6.5 lost preop
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