kinda weird question, but about making friends?

I was talking to an old friend on the phone this evening, who lives in the town where I used to live, 180 miles away.  We hardly ever get to see each other, since she's so far away and she works full time and goes to school and has two kids so she's very busy.

Anyway, she asked if I had any friends in the town where I live now, and I thought for a minute, and said no, not other than my partner. 

She asked if I didn't think making some friends would help with my depression and yeah, I think it probably would.  But I do not know where to make friends here.

In the past, I mostly made friends at work.  I am on disability due to my depression now.

I also made some friends, though not many, in college.  With my depression, I could not handle going to school now, but also, I had my student loans forgiven because of being on disability, which trust me, is not an easy thing to do, but it means I cannot get any other student loans in the future, so I could not afford to go to school if I wanted to.

My partner has made some friends at church but I'm really not a religious person.

I have known people to make friends at AA.  But I don't have a drinking problem.

I used to go to Al-Anon, before I moved here.  I could not find an Al-Anon group in this town, hard as that may be to believe.

I took a water aerobics class for a while.  But all the other people in the class were old ladies.

I did some volunteer work for a while, with abused kids.  I enjoyed it and liked the people I met with Children's Services and Juvenile Court, but never became friends with any of them.

I would go to a WLS support group but there is none around.  There is only one bariatric surgeon in town and he does not offer one.  My surgeon has one, but she is 180 miles away.

So where on earth would I make friends around here?  Someone to go out to lunch with, for a walk with, for coffee, something like that?  Seriously?  I am out of ideas.

Our town has a rec center and all kinds of classes they offer, very inexpensive. Maybe you can go to a yoga class or a basket weaving class or something else..... even just volunteer at a school, become friends with the teachers and staff

Go to the park, befriend some stay at home moms....

We don't have a rec center, but we have a Y and I belong.  They only do fitness classes there, so no basket weaving.  My sister lives near a really big Y, they do all kinds of stuff, probably do basket weaving there - but I'm in a small, small town.  But they do yoga.  So that's an option.

This probably sounds stupid... but what do I do, just invite someone out for coffee after class?

Oh Kelly, i'm the WORST person to ask about this.... hubby and I are best friends, and we spend all our time together, and we don't socialize at ALL..... we work together and do everything together. I'm so not a social person

I think you strike up conversations, you find people with whom you click, and then you wait for an opportunity to suggest a run to starbucks (like, if they say they love starbucks, so you suggest a trip there.... of course OUR small town doesn't have a starbucks)

Well, I'm starting to think my town is not AS SMALL as I thought.  We have Starbucks and Panera.  And stoplights.

We have stoplights. But in town itself, we don't have starbucks, or panera..we do have a Sonic, and a Pizza Hut. AND a post office.

The 2000 census of our town was population 6000

Our school district, however, is huge..... 2000 square miles

I would - or suggest a lunch or something? I honestly used to have NO friends...other than my close best friends from high school and college, but most of our talk was text and fb due to busy lives and distance. We have alot of close friends now and its all due to our karate class....once I started there were so many like minded people there, and the friendships gradually just happened. I can say i was depressed before that (on meds) and it really really helps just to have a social outlet of some sort.

Its hard when you have a small social circle. 

My suggestions would be some type of hobby group like a reading club (take a look in your local paper for groups that are meeting).   Also, try another exercise class, like meditation or yoga. 

I would also try a different type of volunteer work.  See if you can meet a different group of people to see if that helps.
 

 A few things come to mind.  I used to go to church, too, and that was great for meeting people but I haven't found one I like in years.  I also belong to AA because I am in recovery, as well as GA but there is also OA.  I would go to that, too, but there aren't any meetings nearby.  If you have any near you that is a great way to meet people and you can get support that way, too.  And the best thing is you are able to help others who have eating problems.
Another thought is if you have some kind of hobby then you can usually find a group for that.  Like knitting or scrapbooking or whatever.  Even reading clubs.  You can do a search on the internet for your city.
Check out Craigslist for your city.  They have a community section and you can look under groups for things you are interested in.  Or you can start your own.  Maybe your own WLS support group?  Many churches will let you use a room for a meeting.
And speaking of Craigslist, there is a section under personals for Strictly Platonic where you can basically advertise for friends.  I was looking at it and it is very interesting.  You can talk about what you are like and just state what you want in a friend.  Sounds strange but this is a strange world we are living in.  I was always told if you don't ask you won't receive.  What have you got to lose.
Good luck.  I wish I lived closer to you.  I would love to have coffee with you.

Yeah, you're a bit far for a coffee date, huh?

I'll check out Craigslist, though.

I have thought about starting a WLS support group.