Why are people like this?

Fat people are discriminated against no matter how much they like themselves or emit whatever vibes they emit.  Its how our society works....  I have seen so many late night "news" shows about how the skinny stupid blonde gets the job instead of the heavier smarter gal.  Not too long ago there was another one on nightline showing this very thing happening. 

you can even take a look at nature.  Even animals, birds and stuff are attracted to the brightest colors and the prettiest feathers.  Take a look at how we are inundated with images on TV, magazines, and electronic media.  Its always the toothpick thin lady in the tight clothing, or the GQ male with the six pack.... you never see anyone "normal" looking.  Its all a fantasy world that somehow becomes the norm.

Being morbidly obese is strange -- I was huge, but invisible.
 
I've had times where I get angry about how differently I'm treated, but I know that I'm a different person, at least as far as how I interact with people. I'm more open and receptive and relaxed. I don't walk around silently apologizing for the amount of space I'm taking up and it's not surprising that people respond differently.

I think it can be as simple as people are nicer to me because I'm nicer to them.

Caroline

I dont' think it's everyone that treats us differently. I was always treated nice by everyone except a few and I always thought that my charm just didn't work on them the way it did with most  people. But I've noticed that they are starting to be nicer now that I am over 100lbs down. Some people are just weird I think.

So I actually took some time and thought about this.  Yes I agree people do treat overweight people differently for the most part.

I believe this is so because many overweight and especially obese people appear to be angry and or unhappy.  The stereo typical Jolly fat man really doesn't exist for the most part.  Even when I was obese I noticed this behavior but not really directed at me.

Now being of a more normal size I believe it is more in how an individual carries themself. Yes the anger, unhappy look still exists but this is the image people present to the world and really stems from an individuals self confidence.  I know for me especially in the proffesional world people are more receptive to my ideas and suggestions than they were a year ago.  I also carry myself much diffrently.  I walk with confidence and am confident in my suggestions.

A few months ago someone posted a thread about WLS surgery making people into ******** While I don't think it does I think for many it gives us a new definition of self we learn that we are capable of more than we ever thought possible and some people may see this as being ahole like behavior.

Like most things in society it is all about how an individual presents themself.

 I've also noticed that professionally my ideas carry more weight, but I think that's largely because I'm more confident and not trying to hide as much. I take myself more seriously and so do others.

I don't think wls surgery turns most of us into ******** but it definitely seems to make a lot of us
more assertive. I 'm sure there have been times when my new-found assertiveness has crossed a line and become aggressiveness. My concept of myself at this new weight is still a work in progress.

Caroline

I've not noticed a huge change, personally. People still approach me out of the blue to ask for directions or where something is. I've been told I'm very approachable. But I am an RN. DH tells me that people sense that I'm helpful, lol

Even at my heaviest, I found most people to be polite. I had people, mostly strangers, smile at me, speak to me, hold doors, etc. But I always held my head up and looked at people. I held doors for others. I spoke to others. I was not happy with how I looked nor was I the most confident person. In fact I was and still am very shy. But to receive, we must first give. We may not always receive what we think we deserve, but we will receive. The rule is to do unto others what you would like done unto you, not do unto to others as they do unto you.

Many times, as MO person some are laughed at, and ridiculed.  So then, when a normal person looks at them and smile... sometimes they get what they do not deserve. 

Not long time ago I was at a store. There was this really big MO person walking opposite to me.. I looked at her and smiled. What did I get in return: "what are you laughing at , *****!!!". 

Trust me - I will be very careful now what I look at and smile at - to. 

I guess, right now , being an skinny - average person - smiling to a MO person is an offense ???? 

Too true!

I'm down 180 lbs in 7 months and I notice how differently I am treated now that I am perceived as normal weight.  Interestingly, being aware of it has shown me subtle ways I treat people differently because of their looks.  It has helped me stamp out my own unintentional biases, so I guess it is a blessing!

I agree with what you're saying.

Here is an experience I had recently.

When I was at my heaviest, I was referred to an ENT doctor for an issue I was experiencing with my ear.  When I saw this doctor, he was so dismissive to me that I thought he was the worst doctor I had ever been to.  I actually saw him twice, and both times he could not get away from me fast enough and was borderline rude.

Flash forward three years and I am now at my lowest weight of 130, and a size 4. 

I was experiencing the same ear issue and my PCP referred me to an ENT doctor once again.  I made the appointment, not even realizing it was with the same ENT doctor I had seen previously until he walked into the room...

Well, let me tell you that the treatment I received this time was so much different than the previous times.  He spent a lot of time and effort on me, was very attentive, and went the extra mile to diagnose me.  He even made a comment about how good I looked...

Now, I could be wrong, but it definitely went through my mind that that the difference in the treatment I received from him was related to the fact that I was no longer a fat slob, but rather petite and attractive.  I was now worth his efforts...

Again, I'll never know for certain, but this is the conclusion I have drawn with this particular doctor.