Weight , ummm and stuff

thank you...

What a scary and sad way to live. I hope you see that it doesn't have to be this way.
My best to you.
Deb T.

thanks for replying

You are very pretty. You are losing weight and will be a total super model soon....find someone new. My psych told me if you have a rocky relationship to start....once you have WLS you can count on it to not last. Im not trying to be "debbie downer"....but you got this surg to change your life and make you a healthier happier you. This man seems like hes doing everything in his power to prevent you from living. My god. "don't make me hit you." If a man said that to me, I would tell him go ahead try me mutha f*cka!" He wants all of your passwords...but wont offer up his..i know you said you dont want them but like for real its the principal of the thing..Sounds like he knows how hot you are...and how hot you are going to be and he is pissed the eff off about it. Buy some pepper spry on amazon...its only lik 10 bucks. You can never be too safe...just tell him its for creeps. I wouldnt put up with his **** I would have either straightened him the f*ck out by now or been GONE....You need to tell him hes not helping you hes just annoying the **** out of you. Do you guys have kids...if not...then even more of a reason to flee. Okay well sorry thats my rant. I HATE HATE HATE HATE controlling men so I couldnt help but comment.  P.s. good luck on your weight loss!

thanks for replying... I will try counseling.

If he won't go to counseling with you then go alone. You need to talk to someone about this. If someone can't hear your "no" they are ALWAYS trying to control you. But you knew that.

I agree with the others. This is an unhealthy situation for you, and you need to get out. No one has the right to treat you like this, and only a very unstable, insecure man would seek to control all aspects of your life. It is a very short, slippery slope from this to physical abuse.

You should have an exit plan in place, just in case of a worst case scenario. If you think there is any chance he might react violently (with physical, restraining, or emotional violence) to the suggestion of counselling, I would make sure you have an exit plan in place before you do. Know who you would go to, how you would leave, and I would start putting some money off the books in cash in a safe place in case you ever needed it on hand. While maybe things will work out well: maybe he will hear you and go to counselling and change, you need to be prepared to jump if it goes the other way.

You deserve to have freedom and autonomy. He does not own you, and you do not deserve to be treated this way. If you do not have family or people local that can help you, there are probably people on this list that are nearby and would be willing to help.

Good luck....

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 48YEARS. MY HUBSAND OFTEN DRIVES ME CRAZY TO THE POINT OF ME GOING CRAZY. THE ONLY THING THAT HELPS ME IS THE MEMORY OF OUR DAYS OF WHEN WE WERE YOUNG.  GET HELP IF YOU CAN!!! OTHERWISE RUN FROM THIS MAN BEFORE HE HURTS YOU. I AGREE WITH KELLY 100%. HUGS AND PRAYS FOR YOU!!!
P.S. I WOULD STAY IN MY MARRIAGE IF IT WAS ABUSIVE AND YOURS IS ABUSIVE.

SORRY!!! I MEANT TO SAY--I WOULD NOT STAY IN A ABUSIVE MARRIAGE. I DESVERE BETTER. SO DO YOU.

This IS abuse. If you are interested enough and he agrees to counciling great. If not, I would NOT wait until he hits you to leave! This is a pretty "classical" case of an abusive relationship. Everything is great until you get married, then it's all his way, he controls your every move, then he seperates you from your family and friends until you have no one to turn to, then eventually it turns phsyical. IT IS ABSOLUTELY ABUSE!! I really hope you either get help for both of you (YOU CAN NOT DO THIS ALONE!) or if you are past the point you want to work on it, then leave him. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL IT GETS PHYSICAL!