Kids and recovery time

Hi,
 I'm scheduled to have my RNY in July. I'm a single parent to a 4 and 7 year old and my family lives in another state. I have my boyfriend who is a BIG help, but for the most part I'm on my own. I was wondering how difficult is the recovery period? Will I be able to get around (slowly), and care for my kids on my own or will I need a substantial amount of help? My mom has offered to watch the kids but at her home so that means my children will be away from home.  I really would rather they stay home, my son is super excited about his summer camp this year and I'm trying to find a way so he wouldn't have to miss it. Thanks in advance,  I'm learning so much from OH!!!

Your recovery is very important.
Until you have surgery, there is no telling how well you will do, it's different for everyone.
For me, I would have never been able to care for kids for the first 3 weeks, I couldn't even care for myself, where as others are back to their full time jobs after one or two weeks.
Good luck

It really depends on the person.  I have 3 children 12,10, and 7.  My husband was going through a busy period at work so he had to go in at 5 am and sometimes he wouldn't be home until 9 or 10 at night. I have no family around. Before my surgery I made 2 months worth of freezer meals for my family.  That way either I or my kids could pull one out the night before and my oldest daughter did the cooking.  Most of them could easily be thrown in the oven.  Even my 7 year old can fix his breakfast and lunch in the microwave.  The week before make sure you have lots of easy meals they can fix themselves.  I also had them lay out their clothes the night before.  The first 2 or 3 days home from the hospital were tough, but after the first week everything went well.  You could always put some activity baskets together for them to work out after you get home.  Fill them up with things they enjoy but don't usually get to do like play doh, art supplies, lego set, or match box cars.  Have them pull them out when you need some quiet time. 

I think with some preplanning you should be able to do it.  You need to be up and walking anyway.  Just remember that you can not drive for 2 weeks after the surgery. 

I think you're kids are old enough that you should be okay.  I have 2 children as well.  Mine are 1 and 2.  My DH could only take 2 weeks off work to help right after surgery.  So when he went back to work I had the kids again full-time on my own.  I have family nearby if I really needed them, but I think I only had to call on them once.

Was it hard?  Hell yeah.  I did it though and I survived.  Just because we have surgery we don't stop being mommy.  Don't completely turn down your mom's help.  You may find that you need the kids to go with her for a few days to give your body a break.  My biggest hurdle was not lifting the kids.  At least with yours being 4 and 7 you don't have to worry about that or changing diapers.  I think you'll be fine.  Just make sure to let them know that you've just had surgery and you're recovering.  Make sure they know you may not be able to do all the things that you did before, but it's only temporary.  

Good luck on your surgery.  It will be here before you know it!

I am going to say that if you have the option of sending your kids away for a week or two, that you definitely should. Things will be SO much better for you if all you have to worry about is yourself. You should really take advantage of any offers you have for help, and the kids will be better off as well. Its a very short time period.

The first three weeks were difficult for me and I had a hard time - and I considered myself Superwoman before. I tried to go back to work after a week and ended up back at home for week two. Week three was a little better but all I was really able to do was get up and down, shower, bathroom, eat the popsicles, rest, walk, repeat. Getting dressed was hard, the stairs were hard to manage, etc. Luckily my mom picked up the kids from school for me daily and my husband picked them up from her house on the way home.

It definitely depends on the individual. Some people bounce back quicker than others. You have to let your body tell you. I had my surgery on Tuesday, 5/31 and I have a 21 mo old and an about-to-be 4 year old.

DH has to work, so my mother-in-law flew down to stay with us and she truly was a God-send. While I was up and about, she still had to do all the baby-lifting, driving, and baths while she was here. She also entertained them and fed them so I could rest as much as possible.  I felt great, but when I spent a little too much time trying to feed the kids or entertain them, I got really drained and lightheaded.

Same with work. I went back to work the very next Monday, 6 days post-op. I have the privilege of being able to work from home, so it was easy for me to sit in my recliner with a laptop, but I still got tired easily and needed to nap every now and then.  I still do.

She left Saturday and by Sunday mid-morning, I was already feeling the drain of dealing with the kids and had to go nap while my hubby took over. They require a lot of your energy when they are little and post-op you just don't have that much to give. I wanted to be superwoman, but I am realizing if I get my rest, I'll be a better mommy and heal quicker.

Take your Mom up on her offer. At least for the first week post-op.

Thanks for the advice everyone, I am going to take my mom up on her offer. I'm just so used to doing everything on my own sick and all, but I don't want make myself worse by any means. Thanks again...

Good decision on your part! Let me add a thought - while you are still pre op, do some cooking ahead for the family, and freeze all you can. Your own diet will be very limited for the first several weeks, and advance planning and preparation will make things MUCH easier for you AND them! If you can do some shopping ahead as well, it will help because you won't be able to lift heavy grocery bags until after your 6 week checkup.

And odds are, the whole recovery will go MUCH better because you are devoting those first days solely to your healing!

Like everyone said it depends and you won't know until afterwards.  Think about it this way you gave birth, so that was pretty big.  How did you deal with that?  That's how I look at it.  

On the other side of the coin, if you mom can take one and then your boyfriend can get your son to camp, all the better.

But also my kids are much older 15 & 12, and they can do for themselves.  They will be looking after me, because I will want to do stuff around the house.

 I would let your mom watch them, my kids are 17, 13, and 11 so they can fend for themselves which they did because I was not taking care of anyone but me for atleast a week.  No way would I want to be cooking for them or driving them around or cleaning up after them.. I say let your mom help you out atleast for a week 4 and 7 yrs olds are pretty needy!