My physical therapist

Mary V.
on 7/10/11 1:02 pm
RNY on 04/26/11 with
Hi everyone,

Please excuse the font I had to pick one I can actually see!

Anyway, I have been driving myself absolutely crazy. I did a six-month course of PT before surgery so I could be as ready as possible. Now I am in post-op PT. MY physical therapist is great. She's kind, caring, tough when she needs to be and a genuinely sweet person.  My issue: I am obsessing about her.

I typically do not like people to touch me. However that’s not realistic in this kind of treatment. It started in my first cycle. I had horrible back pain and in an attempt to straighten me out and relieve some pressure on my lower back, she ended up behind me with her arms wrapped around my shoulders. I have no idea if it was a chiropractic move or what. It did help. However, I really liked it.

In this cycle she has touched me I think just in normal conversation. Although I wish more. She had come up to speak with an intern and me and put her arm around my shoulder so I put my arm around her waist. I was just being friendly at that point.

I had to do some testing for vertigo that made me feel quite strange and nauseated. I was lying on my back on the therapy mat and put my arms out as if somehow, that would make the world spin slower. The intern was at my head holding that position and watching my eyes, as was she. Well, she held my hand. I liked that too. When the testing was over I was to sit up. She sat facing me with her left hand on the right side of my face stroking just in front of my ear. I sooo wanted to lean forward and put my head on her shoulder but decided that was a line I didn't want to cross. I asked her if she had any kids and she said no. I said that’s ok I have fur kids. I was curious and told her that I thought she was very gentle and kind.

I am afraid to say anything because I like that she is genuine and herself. I am afraid I would not be able to work with her anymore. I don't want to make her uncomfortable where she works.

I know she is married. She is older then me. I already know I have a thing for older women. And apparently for accents as well. And women who are unavailable.

I don't think her intentions were intentionally flirtatious. I just think she was being herself and enjoying her job. It makes me crazy when I get into these obsessive modes.

I know about boundaries and professionalism. I told myself that I hope I can find someone as sweet and kind as she is. I am trying to stop the spinning of how I am thinking. I also think part of it, the kind of work we do is intimate.

If she fixed my vertigo I could just kiss her! As a friend of course. DAMN morals.

I already feel better having written this down so it isn't alone in my head making chaos.

Thanks for reading


Mary ~

Laugh out loud...it does a body good   
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