Update: The single life

Well I am on my own, hubby is gone. I have to say I am feeling total freedom for the first time in a very very long time. I wasn't sure if I could manage, but I am strong. I am doing just fine. I have amazing friends, in my everyday life and here in the support group. I had an overwhelming number of supportive replies to my original post and I thank all of you for that, you know who you are! I have been a caregiver for so long, I almost forgot who I am. If anyone needs to talk about marital problems post bypass surg, just send me a little message and I will try to help you get through it. #1...love yourself first, everything else will fall into place. Judy

Hang in there Girl, I will keep you in my prayers.  I'm kind of worried about my relationship.  My husband has always been rather insecure when it comes to me.  I wonder how he is going to react when i have my new found confidence.  He hasn't gotten to involved in any of the past 6 months leading up to my procedure.  He knows i'm having the surgery and everynow and then he will make a comment about it.  But for the most part he hasn't tried to get involved at all.  I have invited him to appointments, tried to share information with him and just tried to talk about the whole procedure, but he doesn't really show any interest.  Sometimes he acts like it will be an incovenience for him if he has to take off any time from work to help me after the surgery.  I try not to get discouraged because whether he is going to support me or not, I AM GOING TO DO THIS!!!!!  However,  I do worry about the stress that this may put on our relatinship.  My surgery date is 16 August.  Any advice??

You will be just fine, for sure!! Keep taking care of YOU!!

Laura

Hi Judy- I am proud of you....I read your post and was impressed wiht your new attitude!!!
S

Although I have to admit that I did not read your original post, and that I don't know all the details... I just wanted to say that I'm proud that you are taking care of you.

The end of a relationship is so hard, and I never know the right thing to say, so I won't say anything... I just wanted you to know that I read your post and am sending positive thoughts your way!

Alissa

(((Judy))) the freedom and happiness only get better from here.  I'm sorry you have to go through it too, but know that there is a reason and YES it IS time to take care of you.

If you ever feel the need to talk to someone else that has gone through it, feel free to PM me.

First to 50 and fabulous... I don't know your hubby but it sounds like he is a bit afraid of the new you. I have a question, do you feel that he's controlling? I have always felt that my husband is/was controlling. I also believe that he liked me fat because I didn't feel good about myself. Now that I have dropped a bunch of weight and feel better about myself I think he feels threatened, which makes him feel that he's not in control. I don't know if I can offer you any advice but maybe you should make him talk about his feelings and concerns. Don't know if he will talk, but at least you know you tried. Good luck to you and please keep me posted.
To all the rest of you, I can't tell you how much your support means to me! I am so glad I found this site!
Judy